In bed, what is a dominant woman like?

[Doranq]

Pretty self explanatory.

If you are a dominate woman or know one, what usually goes down (the man lol )? How do you assert your dominance.


secondary question. If you are dominate. Do you like to be challenged? If so do you have to win. Do you not want to be challenged because clearly you are the Dominate one and he the submissive? Do you tend to let guys know you are dominate.. or do they find out later?

Genuinely curious.

 

[693987]

The last folks I was involved with who were submissive to me didn't get to fuck me. Period. It was part of the dynamic that there was teasing and denial. I'm not saying there wasn't any orgasms, just their penis wasn't ever inside my vagina. Body language, hair pulling, biting, and a lot of hands on. Also some toys/tools used. I pegged them. As far as "challenged" well that depends on how you mean. Challenged like the challenges/occasional conflict that happens in any kind of a relationship with anyone ever? Yeah, sure, that's a part of it. Challenged, like talked back to, where they were bratty/snarky? No. I'm not into that kind of D/s. Dialogue, discussing limits, discussing pushing limits, of course. Being a brat? No. Not at all.

Anyone I get involved with or have gotten involved with for years knows I'm kinky. They know I'm into BDSM. They know I'm into D/s. IT doesn't always come to play if it's just fucking. For me, the D/s is not as heavy a part of the actual fucking, as it is in other aspects of the relationship.

 

[Doranq]

The last folks I was involved with who were submissive to me didn't get to fuck me. Period. It was part of the dynamic that there was teasing and denial. I'm not saying there wasn't any orgasms, just their penis wasn't ever inside my vagina. Body language, hair pulling, biting, and a lot of hands on. Also some toys/tools used. I pegged them. As far as "challenged" well that depends on how you mean. Challenged like the challenges/occasional conflict that happens in any kind of a relationship with anyone ever? Yeah, sure, that's a part of it. Challenged, like talked back to, where they were bratty/snarky? No. I'm not into that kind of D/s. Dialogue, discussing limits, discussing pushing limits, of course. Being a brat? No. Not at all.

Anyone I get involved with or have gotten involved with for years knows I'm kinky. They know I'm into BDSM. They know I'm into D/s. IT doesn't always come to play if it's just fucking. For me, the D/s is not as heavy a part of the actual fucking, as it is in other aspects of the relationship.

So if I understand, the submissive men never get to have their penis in your vagina, but going off by what was implied, those who are not submissive to you, those guys could/do have an opportunity? If so, doesn't the submissive one get anxious after a while from being 100% denied? I don't think I can imagine getting denied that hard. ( I don't think I have the mindset so forgive me if I have difficulty understanding) It would make me think they'd be extremely horny most of the time.


By challenge I meant a challenge of dominance. Them to trying to assert dominance (be the dominant figure). For whatever reason, be it naturally, them unsure if that's what you want or not, a day out of the ordinary, etc.



Lastly how do you react towards a man that is definitely not submissive, like no way it's gonna happen in hell. Is there a power struggle and you two go your separate ways, you submit, continue to struggle basically win dominance no matter how long it takes, meet in the middle, stand at the same high point? Hate it, love it?
What about the guys who are in between or maybe switches (I think that's what they are called, the ones that can be either or) Do you indulge them in letting them be dominate time to time or no?

 

[693987]

In the relationship dynamics I've had thus far with MALES who were submissive to me, they were allowed to masturbate and I would get them off, just not through piv intercourse. Part of the appeal in the dynamics I had, was the chastity and denial, though. One of them I quite literally work a key to his chastity device on a chain as a necklace.

And no, again, I'm not into bratty, snarky, whatever. If someone doesn't actually want to be submissive to me, then don't have that be a dynamic with me.

I'm a switch as far as BDSM goes. I'm extremely picky about the people I'll do D/s with. I'm less picky about who I'll fuck (or was in the past) versus the people I would be dominant to or submissive to. Manthing isn't submissive in any way shape or form. I'm quite happy being in a more neutral and sometimes submissive position with him.

I will note that I do not personally swap roles back and forth with the same individual. If I see you as submissive to me, there isn't a snowball's chance in hell I will let you dominate me.

 

[Doranq]

In the relationship dynamics I've had thus far with MALES who were submissive to me, they were allowed to masturbate and I would get them off, just not through piv intercourse. Part of the appeal in the dynamics I had, was the chastity and denial, though. One of them I quite literally work a key to his chastity device on a chain as a necklace.

And no, again, I'm not into bratty, snarky, whatever. If someone doesn't actually want to be submissive to me, then don't have that be a dynamic with me.

I'm a switch as far as BDSM goes. I'm extremely picky about the people I'll do D/s with. I'm less picky about who I'll fuck (or was in the past) versus the people I would be dominant to or submissive to. Manthing isn't submissive in any way shape or form. I'm quite happy being in a more neutral and sometimes submissive position with him.

I will note that I do not personally swap roles back and forth with the same individual. If I see you as submissive to me, there isn't a snowball's chance in hell I will let you dominate me.

That makes sense.. Could you see yourself being in a long term relationship with a submissive man? I know he doesn't get any PIV, but that means you don't either unless I guess you cuckold him.I guess I'm more curious about your perspective. It's very interesting, not necessarily something I'm interested in doing, but I'm interested nonetheless

 

[AlteredEgo]

I had a phase where I liked men who were either always or sometimes sexually submissive. Now, I could play with a sexually submissive man, but only if he is NEVER socially submissive, which means he has to be able to navigate the controlling aspects of my personality and come out on top or equal. I'm a steamrolling sort by nature, but I want my partner to step up and be my equal. I don't want to be his boss, and I can't be his mother. I also want to be led most of the time, sexually. My dude wants to experiment with BDSM, and with D/s (sexual context only) from the perspective of a submissive male with a dominant female. I look forward to exploring that with him.

With me, a submissive playmate can expect to be made to feel like his desires are secondary to my own agenda which always takes top priority. This is an illusion, one I can manufacture skillfully. The truth is this type of play requires mutual respect, trust, and a lot of discussion to discern what a sven diagram of our sexual interests and kinks would look like. I start with the overlap as the practical foundation, and encourage the stretching and pressing of boundaries toward activities that primarily entertain me. My own boundaries get challenged as I see fit, dabbling into areas where he has a heightened interest, where my level of interest is either completely absent, or merely curiousity, or even only clinical curiosity.

So, for me, what is typical? I like bondage, sensory deprivation, sense-play (hot vs. cold, pleasure vs. pain, wet vs. dry, soft vs. hard, gentle vs. rough, etc.), inflicting pain, humiliation (verbal and practical), and teasing and orgasm denial. I can be cold, distant, an untouchable goddess, or I can be sweet, playful, warm, but in control. It has in the past depended upon the personality of my partner. Despite illusion to the contrary, my goal is mutual pleasure and joint growth. So, while I project an unwillingness to bend, I'm actually quite flexible.

Having said that, I have NO tolerance for bratty behavior, nor its big brother, topping from the bottom. I've heard in munches that topping from the bottom is a myth, and a failing on my part to respect the desires of a partner, but I strongly disagree. The time for a sub to make his desires known is while we are discussing the matter, not during a scene. If I'm too close to a boundary, use the safewords. If he was wrong about where his boundaries lie, he should use the safewords. If there is a potential safety issue, he should use the safewords. If I'm well within bounds, and he just is excited and wants to skip ahead to some other aspect of play, that's too bad. Honestly, a sub controls literally everything else. Ordination is my call. Always. And a painslut being naughty just to earn discipline is boring. Too boring. So, these things are dealbreakers. Always. I won't do that kind of play with a partner who cannot learn to control the urge to top from the bottom.

 

[MISSlayla]

I use them for my pleasure they know that going in. I am aggressive and the men I have slept with are normally submissive or decided to be after me. I am not a selfish lover I love to abuse them with pleasure. I tease them of couse and reward them. I have been in a long term relationship with a switch before. He liked to snap on me when I pushed him too far. The best orgasm I ever had was because of him. Some men dont like to pinned down, I learned my lesson.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Topping from the bottom is real, or people wouldn't have opinions about it.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Topping from the bottom is real, or people wouldn't have opinions about it.

Exactly. That kind of crapped is why I stopped going to munches. I wasn't learning anything, and what was said often defied logic.

 

[Doranq]

so Is topping from bottom like backseat driving? The backseat driver is giving the commands. Or is it like the backseat driver is like"fuck this, I'm taking over?"


Do you (you being the reader) perceive submissive men differently? Maybe in a more or less favorable light?

 

[MISSlayla]

so Is topping from bottom like backseat driving? The backseat driver is giving the commands. Or is it like the backseat driver is like"fuck this, I'm taking over?"


Do you (you being the reader) perceive submissive men differently? Maybe in a more or less favorable light?

If you have not let a woman use your body for her pleasure you should try it. 0
w

 

[MISSlayla]

+

so Is topping from bottom like backseat driving? The backseat driver is giving the commands. Or is it like the backseat driver is like"fuck this, I'm taking over?"


Do you (you being the reader) perceive submissive men differently? Maybe in a more or less favorable light?

It is a control thing. Before I fuck anybody in that manor I always lay down ground rules. Like the uses of the word BITCH, that shit dont fly with me, or his no go zone like being pinned down. Boundaries is the first step, begging during sex is the second and the third is punishment, command and reward. I am a woman so I will never have absolute control over a man that is a turn on for me. I know that the man I am enjoying is freely giving me control. I am obeying his commands as much as he is taking them from me.

For me is not about pain, or making the man feel like a weakling. Its about control. I look at a man that can give himself without restraint as very sexy and manly man.

 

[693987]

+


It is a control thing. Before I fuck anybody in that manor I always lay down ground rules. Like the uses of the word BITCH, that shit dont fly with me, or his no go zone like being pinned down. Boundaries is the first step, begging during sex is the second and the third is punishment, command and reward. I am a woman so I will never have absolute control over a man that is a turn on for me. I know that the man I am enjoying is freely giving me control. I am obeying his commands as much as he is taking them from me.

For me is not about pain, or making the man feel like a weakling. Its about control. I look at a man that can give himself without restraint as very sexy and manly man.

Fucking what? I may not be able to physically overpower the male submissive types that I've been involved with, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have absolute control over someone, if that was the dynamic we had.

 

[MISSlayla]

Fucking what? I may not be able to physically overpower the male submissive types that I've been involved with, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have absolute control over someone, if that was the dynamic we had.

How is it absolute if they could overpower you? Do you never think about their power and strength? That when you have them by the balls , how they are allowing you to do it? In D/s relationships control is never absolute because we are humans. Your sub has hard limits, so no matter how much you want to do something to them you can't. You are different than me, I know that so what I said is my own opinion. Your relationship with your sub(s) is way different then mine. I would never deny myself the use of a hard dick.

 

[693987]

How is it absolute if they could overpower you? Do you never think about their power and strength? That when you have them by the balls , how they are allowing you to do it? In D/s relationships control is never absolute because we are humans. Your sub has hard limits, so no matter how much you want to do something to them you can't. You are different than me, I know that so what I said is my own opinion. Your relationship with your sub(s) is way different then mine. I would never deny myself the use of a hard dick.

How people do D/s or BDSM or whatever kinky stuff they do varies from person to person, of course. However saying that D/s is all about whether one person can physically overpower the other strikes me as ludicrous. It's not just because "you're a woman". I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that could kick a man's ass, much less my own. Just like I'm sure there are women out there that could overpower you. It has nothing to do with your gender.

 

[AlteredEgo]

so Is topping from bottom like backseat driving? The backseat driver is giving the commands. Or is it like the backseat driver is like"fuck this, I'm taking over?"


Do you (you being the reader) perceive submissive men differently? Maybe in a more or less favorable light?

Topping from the bottom would be like a person in the back seat putting his or her hands on the steering wheel. Or better yet, it is more like a student driver car, and the sub is in the passenger seat. He or she is totally expected to occasionally hit the brakes a little, which is why there are extra brakes on that side of the vehicle. What is not okay is if that person reaches over and grabs the steering wheel. If they were meant to steer, they'd have their own damn' wheel.

 

[MISSlayla]

How people do D/s or BDSM or whatever kinky stuff they do varies from person to person, of course. However saying that D/s is all about whether one person can physically overpower the other strikes me as ludicrous. It's not just because "you're a woman". I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that could kick a man's ass, much less my own. Just like I'm sure there are women out there that could overpower you. It has nothing to do with your gender.

. It's has nothing to do with gender, I am talking about the relationship between D/s. There is beauty is submission and I have no experience with women to speak to it. When I am in Mistress mode fighting against my sub is not on my mind. But the fact that he is bigger and stronger turns me on. Its like walking a trained beast around on a leash. I know he won't hurt me and he knows that I just want to make him mine. The trust has to be there to submit.

I am a straight woman that's what I think about it. If a man is going to turn on me I know it an advance. If you are not ready to be a sub or just cant do it. Try that so fuck hot mind will be mind blowing. The intensity is on the level of caveman sex. I am man now take the D.

 

[Doranq]

Topping from the bottom would be like a person in the back seat putting his or her hands on the steering wheel. Or better yet, it is more like a student driver car, and the sub is in the passenger seat. He or she is totally expected to occasionally hit the brakes a little, which is why there are extra brakes on that side of the vehicle. What is not okay is if that person reaches over and grabs the steering wheel. If they were meant to steer, they'd have their own damn' wheel.

So if I understand this correctly.

I take it this would get old quick? Like what's the point if you are always going to take over.

But would this be hot every once in a while? The man is overloaded with lust that he just snaps and ravishes his woman's body (consensual) This assuming they have discussed this could happen. I Imagine if you didn't talk it over it could be perceived as very threatening by the woman.

after writing that I wonder if I understood the motive correctly or not. Is topping from bottom power related (wanting to be the one dishing out the punishment) or more like.. finding what the person is doing so hot, you gotta fuck their brains out (like wanting the reward before the punishment is over).

I also have to note, I think it's possible I misunderstood completely. :\
I think your analogy is probably good, but I think I'm lacking some info which leaves open some uncertainties on my end.

Do you have an example of topping from bottom? Like the woman is topping (what would she be currently doing), what could the man do that'd be topping from bottom?

 

[Doranq]

+


It is a control thing. Before I fuck anybody in that manor I always lay down ground rules. Like the uses of the word BITCH, that shit dont fly with me, or his no go zone like being pinned down. Boundaries is the first step, begging during sex is the second and the third is punishment, command and reward. I am a woman so I will never have absolute control over a man that is a turn on for me. I know that the man I am enjoying is freely giving me control. I am obeying his commands as much as he is taking them from me.

For me is not about pain, or making the man feel like a weakling. Its about control. I look at a man that can give himself without restraint as very sexy and manly man.

Definitely drives in the trust thing.

I use them for my pleasure they know that going in. I am aggressive and the men I have slept with are normally submissive or decided to be after me. I am not a selfish lover I love to abuse them with pleasure. I tease them of couse and reward them. I have been in a long term relationship with a switch before. He liked to snap on me when I pushed him too far. The best orgasm I ever had was because of him. Some men dont like to pinned down, I learned my lesson.

If you don't mind me asking. What happened when he "snapped?" Did he fuck your brains out? Punish you? Lose his shit?

@Fade

There are some badass women out there. Some don't look it at all. Those are probably the scarier ones, since there is no clear warning till you are on the ground grasping at the pretty birdies that have come to visit you.


I agree with domination not having to be strictly physical. I think you can get a very heavy duty lock on someone mentally. The mind is what controls people. If you have control of that + some knowledge of a person's hard limits, then you pretty much have complete control without the need of being stronger.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Topping from the bottom would be like a person in the back seat putting his or her hands on the steering wheel. Or better yet, it is more like a student driver car, and the sub is in the passenger seat. He or she is totally expected to occasionally hit the brakes a little, which is why there are extra brakes on that side of the vehicle. What is not okay is if that person reaches over and grabs the steering wheel. If they were meant to steer, they'd have their own damn' wheel.

So if I understand this correctly.

I take it this would get old quick? Like what's the point if you are always going to take over.

But would this be hot every once in a while? The man is overloaded with lust that he just snaps and ravishes his woman's body (consensual) This assuming they have discussed this could happen. I Imagine if you didn't talk it over it could be perceived as very threatening by the woman.

after writing that I wonder if I understood the motive correctly or not. Is topping from bottom power related (wanting to be the one dishing out the punishment) or more like.. finding what the person is doing so hot, you gotta fuck their brains out (like wanting the reward before the punishment is over).

I also have to note, I think it's possible I misunderstood completely. :\
I think your analogy is probably good, but I think I'm lacking some info which leaves open some uncertainties on my end.

Do you have an example of topping from bottom? Like the woman is topping (what would she be currently doing), what could the man do that'd be topping from bottom?

Topping from the bottom is anything that challenges my agenda. If he says he's interested in bondage, sensory play, tickling, face sitting and mild pain, and I'm sitting on his chest because that's where I decided to be while binding his wrists, and I'm taking my time because we have plenty, tickling him a little and teasing him for getting a firmer erection while I tickle him, and he starts saying or doing things to try to get me to sit on his face instead. It is obvious that's not what I want to be doing at the moment, or I'd be doing it. We will get to only those things I want to get to, only at the time I want to get to them. This is never acceptable. It is not sexy on occasion. I will release him and get dressed. Party over.