In Love Too Soon?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Countryguy63, Nov 25, 2009.

  1. Countryguy63

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    How do you stop yourself?

    I know from past experiences that I feel like I fall in love too soon. It doesn't happen all the time or anything. I mean, I've had plenty of girlfriends, and plenty of fb's, and really have no problem if I don't see them for a while or even long periods of time.

    But, when I feel it's right, I fall fast and hard. Thinking about them throughout the day, missing them tremendously when we're apart. When I started going out with my ex wife, I knew after our second date, and that lasted 12 years. Then my next LTR, I knew I was in love with her within the 1st week.

    So, how do you make yourself take it slow? I mean, common sense says that you need to take a longer time before feeling like you're in love.

    How does everyone else handle this?
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    Trust your feelings and instincts and enjoy this time. My only advice is something that I have formulated through the years. Take a year to get to know that person and let them get to know you. Hopefully both of your feelings will deepen toward each other in that time. I've always considered the year to be a wonderful love affair and after a year you can consider if you want to take it to the next level and have a long term relationship.
    Enjoy your feelings.
     
  3. Countryguy63

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    My head totally agrees with you, but my heart beats the shit outtofit, lol. Seriously, I just wish I could shut my heart off for a while.

    If anyone's followed my postings for the last few years, you can probably figure out what the issue is...I DON'T want to get hurt again. Almost to the point where I think that it might be easier to be alone from now on.

    Yep, deep inside I'm a wuss :redface:
     
  4. Lex

    Lex
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    CG--I agree with Nude. You are in-tuned enough with your feelings and sense of what you need. These arbitrary rules about not saying I like you until X, not calling back until Y, not having sex until Z are just that-- arbitrary. I feel in love with my hubby in a VERY short period of time. We met online, were on the phone that night and saw each other (FL to MD/DC) at the end of the week. The only danger in falling fast is when one of the two persons is not as in-tuned with his/her feelings, feels the need to adhere to the artificial constructs, or one person gets scared and runs. All of these things has happened to me. Even though I wanted to stop trying, perseverance are the only ways to get what you want-- love.
     
  5. Countryguy63

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    Hey Lex,

    You have helped me so much in the past few years Lex, friends like you are what makes this place irreplacable. And now again, your words give me more to think about.

    Thank you!
     
  6. AlteredEgo

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    The thing we have to remember is that if we protect ourselves too well from the bad things which might happen, the side-effect will be that we protect ourselves from having certain great things happen as well.
     
  7. D_Relentless Original

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    I agree with all above, its not ideal, but i over protect myself, due to past experiences i tend to guard myself these days, sad i guess, but i have learned to well how easy it is to be hurt deep, yes i am probably missing out at the moment, i think like nudey says get to know the person, know yourself more.

    And you are not a wuss CG, the chats we have had you are a great guy and in touch with the inner you which gives you a good base to start from.
    Hugs D
     
  8. helgaleena

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    Think of all the poor beings who are too selfish or too scarred to even know what love feels like! Sure it hurts as well now and then but the good feelings of love are worth the risk. Trust your instinct, and your instinct loves. It KNOWS.
     
  9. Countryguy63

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    You guys and gals are so awesome!! Thank you
     
  10. jason_els

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    I find I can't stop myself. I get to know someone then realize I really enjoy interacting with them and then one day wake up and realize I'm in love. It has only happened very rarely but I agree, it sucks enormous hairy monkey wang.
     
  11. Lex

    Lex
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    God, my grammar sucked in that post. UGH.
    More than welcome, stud. While I have left this place more than a few times in disgust--legitimate issues like these are what keep me reading and posting. I figure, what is the point of having all these varied life experiences if we refuse to use our collective knowledge to help one another?

    Men with good, open hearts (like you and Jason, for example) are rare. Any one (man or woman) who finds one needs to appreciate the diamond amongst the coal and act accordingly.

    Exactly. No risk, no reward.
     
  12. badgirl22

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    I have rarely fallen in love over the course of my lifetime but...when I do, it's been an immediate reaction I've had. There may have been once or twice where someone grew on me but for those that I really, really felt in the depths of my head, heart, and stomach, it was immediate. I still have those feelings for those individuals even though I'm not with them.

    I say, if you feel it you feel it. It ends up sucking cause we usually get hurt but what a shame to not allow yourself to enjoy the feeling of loving someone.
     
  13. Omegaman

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    Stop getting SEX mix up with LOVE
     
  14. Countryguy63

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    how do you feel that I'm getting sex mixed up with love?
     
  15. Lex

    Lex
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    You're not. Next.
     
  16. sexplease

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    there is no rules for love, therefore, there is no common sense to it either.

    love obeys its own time and schedule.
    Just hang on and enjoy the thrill of the ride for however long, or short, it lasts.

    I've fallen in love a few times, but more often, I've stepped in it.
     
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