Hi let me just introduce myself Contrary to what my name might seem I am actually a guy and not a girl! I don't know why I chose this name it just kinda popped into my head lol. Anyway i'm 18/m/uk and have basically just about fallen in love with one of my best friends of 5 years. We've been at high school together and now in our last year i've started to get emotions and feelings about him that i've never had before. I wouldn't say i'm bi/gay/whatever I kinda just follow what i'm attracted to most of the time its girls....I have been attracted to guys before but I kinda just let it pass because I can't really be bothred to 'come out' or anything especially at this age and especially being at high school. Anyway as far as my friend is concerned...i've always thought he was reli attractive but only in a kind of objective way - now obviously its different. Its pretty hard because at school we kinda move in different circles because we do different stuff but we are reli good friends nonetheless which makes these emotions harder. Since we move in different circles I get reli jealous and when we're in bg groups of people he starts really pissing me off coz he's got quite a 'lad' attitude and I usually just randomly insult him or try to humiliate him infront of large groups of people, which usually results in him, at the end of the day, being really fed up with me and complaining that i am in a bad mood and then a general argument starts. Also generally people at my school are quite homoerotic and its not a weird thing for friends just to like lie on top of you or with you on a sofa or something in the common room (lol i guess that sounds weird but it reli isn't) and now if he does something like that I get reli frigid and usually get up and leave so he probably thinks I am a complete dick. But then there are other times (one comes to mind when he was showing me his calf muscles which he did by taking off his trousers and hoising his boxers so they just covered his cock) where I have no idea which way to look! I really don't know what to do I'm kinda new to this love thing especially to a guy and especially to a best friend! We'll be leaving school in a few weeks time and he, like myself isn't going off to uni straight away and is taking a gap year -- also like me he doesn't have any plans yet and I did say something like we should go travelling together (albeit in a text) but he never replied and I don't want to ask him in person incase he says no or that he's got other plans -- I was hoping if we went travelling together something might happen lol! I don't really know that much about his sexuality. All I know is that he is rediculously good looking but has had hardly any action and is one of the last guys in the school to loose his virginity but I put this down to his shyness rather than anything else. He once complained to me about not being turned on by his girlf and I said (jokingly) 'hah maybe ur gay!' and he said (jokingly) 'yea maybe!'. I don't really know what to do, he has been known to randomly make out with boys when rediculously drunk (but again that isn't that much of a weird thing in our circles) and i've seen him in such situations were it would've been a possibility but felt too guilty to use him like that. I think our friendship is too good a thing to lose if I were to suddenly come clean to him, and besides I don't know what he would do with the information he could really humilliate me (though obviously he wouldn't).