Fredro
Sexy Member
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2007
- Posts
- 266
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 26
- Points
- 163
- Location
- Crescent City, Florida
- Sexuality
- 100% Gay, 0% Straight
- Gender
- Male
"Imporperness aside.. asuming he is straight
Just put yourself in his shoes and pretend you are not gay, and some gay guy you have worked with for TEN years suddenly comes onto you and you have to tell him you are not interested. No body wants to deal with that kind of situation."
You can't assume he's straight in this situation. It's already been established that this tidbit of information is unknown. There ought to be an inoffensive way to find out a person's orientation. Also, there's a BIG difference between respectfully trying to figure out about someone's orientation and coming on to them.
Put yourself in my situation - I'm gay. I have had to tell women at work I wasn't interested in them. I didn't find their advances offensive. I rebuffed the advances politely. They assumed I was straight and started hitting on me from that wrong assumption. I was assumed to be the orientation they were looking for. I suppose it's accepted that I just have to take it with a grain of salt and move on. They were acting just as improperly as a gay guy who might do the same were they not?
The bigger issue here is not a gay guy putting the moves on a guy of undecided orientation. It's how to properly try to decipher another guy's orientation without having the roof cave in. Of course if the guy is straight, the whole thing is concluded. If he's gay, things might be able to proceed but not until the orientation question is answered.
Since the OP is gay, it sounds like everyone is saying he should bow to the stigma of being gay and just keep quiet. Similar to what I mentioned above - If a straight guy pursues a woman, that's pretty much OK if he acts properly. A gay man who acts politely and respectfully can't try to figure out another guy's orientation in order to find out if he can tell of his feelings? Again - What a double standard.
Just put yourself in his shoes and pretend you are not gay, and some gay guy you have worked with for TEN years suddenly comes onto you and you have to tell him you are not interested. No body wants to deal with that kind of situation."
You can't assume he's straight in this situation. It's already been established that this tidbit of information is unknown. There ought to be an inoffensive way to find out a person's orientation. Also, there's a BIG difference between respectfully trying to figure out about someone's orientation and coming on to them.
Put yourself in my situation - I'm gay. I have had to tell women at work I wasn't interested in them. I didn't find their advances offensive. I rebuffed the advances politely. They assumed I was straight and started hitting on me from that wrong assumption. I was assumed to be the orientation they were looking for. I suppose it's accepted that I just have to take it with a grain of salt and move on. They were acting just as improperly as a gay guy who might do the same were they not?
The bigger issue here is not a gay guy putting the moves on a guy of undecided orientation. It's how to properly try to decipher another guy's orientation without having the roof cave in. Of course if the guy is straight, the whole thing is concluded. If he's gay, things might be able to proceed but not until the orientation question is answered.
Since the OP is gay, it sounds like everyone is saying he should bow to the stigma of being gay and just keep quiet. Similar to what I mentioned above - If a straight guy pursues a woman, that's pretty much OK if he acts properly. A gay man who acts politely and respectfully can't try to figure out another guy's orientation in order to find out if he can tell of his feelings? Again - What a double standard.
