In secure wife

[CALAMBO]

Hey ladies and gents....pls give me your opinion....I enjoy a few trips a year, i call them MANCATION, basicly a few buddies and i go on golf trips/vegas..just guys...well last evening my son, 30 and a few of his buddys asked if we do a guys only 3 days at my houseboat on lake...i said sure lets do it....WIFE says hell no...i am going too or you cannot go...I FORBID IT....so i told her to eat shit..mind her own business..well that may have been wrong thing to say, but to forbid me hell NO....My question...is it wrong for her to try to control my fun...been married 30 plus yrs...i am not a whore dog...We travel around the world every year...she has it ALL...and yet i am not trusted..every time i want one of these mancations she is threatning to divorce me...Not my fault she has no friends to enjoy similar events...I often encourage her to escape w/o me...she refuses....
Do other wifes/gf's allow or fight over such things???....and why is it MEN are not allowed to just hang w/other guys w/o out females not trusting us....GEEZ....btw...I am going august 7-8-9....i told her to call our attorney and start the divorce....this morn was not a good day at my house....

 

[lickme69]

I guess it all depends on the couple. Obviously you have taken vacations before without her, so I do not see why this one would be so different. Are you maybe taking too many mancations?? The problem is that she is not taking any on her own and she is making it your problem. Somehow I do not see a divorce as the answer. Somebody is going to have to compromise.
Personally, I wouldn't want to take a vacation without my significant other. That is why i am with him. It isn't becasue I am insecure, it is just that I want to be with him and share all of my life's experiences with him.
Try taking her somewhere for awhile and see if that works and if she will agree to your mancation. Some women tend to think something is up when they are forbidden to attend something. Maybe that is her problem.
Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

 

[Trouty]

"MANCATION" I love it :biggrin1: So long as you behave yourself (i.e. no extra-marital action) then I cannot see what the problem is. Especially if you have your son with you to keep you on the straight and narrow.

Promise her you'll phone at least once a day and that you will bring her back something nice - usually works for me when I am away with work.

 

[Enid]

FORBID you?
that's appalling.

 

[StraightCock4Her]

Sounds like she just wanted a little reassurance to me. Caught her on a bad day?

 

[deleted395785]

do you have too much fun on your "mancations"? why would you want a 30 year old man & his buddies on a mancation? do you go to have these excursions for male companionshp or to "ditch the bitch"? have you cheated or been cheated on by your wife? after 30 years of marriage her up & leaving now would be odd but hey, you're the one who decided to marry. til death do you i guess...

 

[HazelGod]

FORBID you?
that's appalling.

I agree...it's quite disrespectful. Mind you, I'm assuming you've given her no reason to distrust you in the past.

One of the reasons my wife and I get along so well is that we're similar in our regard for personal private time. She's not threatened by my need to be alone or my desire to be involved in activities that don't involve her. Similarly, I'm not threatened by her wanting to be alone or do things with "the girls" that don't involve me. I take one or two of these "guy trips" you mentioned each year...with one of them usually being a long poker weekend in Vegas.

Your wife's "threats" of divorce are beyond ridiculous. My response would be to drop the ultimatum that if she makes that threat again, I'd call her bluff and divorce her myself...but I'm not the sort of person who responds well to being strong-armed, so YMMV.

 

[CALAMBO]

FORBID you?
that's appalling.

I agree...she pulled this FORBID thing infront of my son and his buddy's...then was pissed at me for setting her straight...thought i be-littled her infront of my son....geez...I will not be a hen-pecked husband....careful what you say to me honey....
In the last year we as a couple have been to europe 2 times...we go to the lake nearly every weekend...spend maybe 3 months every year there....its not like she does not get to go.....i just think she is jealous that I can have fun w/o her....not my problem...But yes i did spend a week last month in LAS VEGAS w/o her....but that was part business....

 

[CALAMBO]

do you have too much fun on your "mancations"? why would you want a 30 year old man & his buddies on a mancation? do you go to have these excursions for male companionshp or to "ditch the bitch"? have you cheated or been cheated on by your wife? after 30 years of marriage her up & leaving now would be odd but hey, you're the one who decided to marry. til death do you i guess...

Yes i do have fun on these man-cations...many times with men my own age...but recently my adult son and his friends take POP'S along...I am 53 yrs young...good shape..i buy nearly everything...but money is not reason....i have a great attitude....I have never cheated...never...and believe me i have been offered...DIVORCE...nah she is just being silly...but if she press's it....life is short, HER LOSS....i will not be FORBID...

 

[Mule]

She either trusts you or she doesn't.

If she does, she should have no problem with you taking a trip every once in a while.

If she doesn't, you have three options:

1. Continue as you are, with both of you having a major problem with the other.
2. Work together until you both trust one another completely.
3. Divorce.

 

[B_bi_mmf]

Too bad that this escalated so rapidly, and in front of your son, which raises the emotional stakes.

I am not one who takes trips with male friends, so I may not be the best-qualified to advise you. Maybe something about the specific context set off your wife's jealousy/insecurity. It does not seem to me as something worthy of splitting up over, provided that you feel that many of the positive aspects of your long-term relationship are still strong.

Occasional irrational behavior is something we have to accept in our partners, and since she is the one who feels insecure, maybe you should be the one who backs off.

I am not saying that your desire to go off with your son and his friends is unreasonable at all. It just seems that maybe it is not worth going to the mat over this issue.

 

[Drifterwood]

She has a lover and she is clearly trying to double bluff you :tongue:

Probably your lawyer. :biggrin1:

 

[Wish-4-8]

Well, every problem has a root. Speculating here will only confuse you and give you the wrong idea. I would say to call her bluff, but that will make things worse. She may go through with it just to be stubborn, and that is not how she really feels.

I bet she will say that "she makes the sacrifice" by not going out with the girls. Which is not fair because there are no girls, so where is the sacrifice.

The sad thing is, the problem might be trivial and a simple converstion would solve the problem. The problem is getting her to have that conversation.
Good luck.

BTW, never make a threat you do not intend to carry through.

 

[Wish-4-8]

I
Personally, I wouldn't want to take a vacation without my significant other. That is why i am with him. It isn't becasue I am insecure, it is just that I want to be with him and share all of my life's experiences with him.

Yes, but life has many experiances. And bonding with the guys is something you could never give him no matter how hard you try. Just like those guys could not give him what you can.

There is something to just being out with the guys, away from the women. I hate it when the guys are hanging out and some douche brings his girlfriend. It just changes the dynamic. Then you have to be considerate and behave differently then if she was not there.

Balance is important.

But why am I saying all this? Dont women get together and do stuff like this? Away from the guys?

 

[Gillette]

But why am I saying all this? Dont women get together and do stuff like this? Away from the guys?

Yep. We do.

Forbid? Wow. I still remember being told, "I'm putting my foot down."
Best laugh ever.

 

[CALAMBO]

Yep. We do.

Forbid? Wow. I still remember being told, "I'm putting my foot down."
Best laugh ever.

Good...do it...have fun...life is short....enjoy...build a separate life from your spouse/partner....being apart makes coming home much more fun...

 

[shaguar]

You need to put a PI on that whore wife of yours. She's up to no good, I am sure of it - find out! Don't be another victim of cuntistance.

 

[dolfette]

i'd be a little pissed if the idea wasn't run past me before you agreed...not that i'd say no, not that you need permission, just that it's polite and considerate to do so.

if she hasn't objected before then i'm confused...
you've gone away before without it being an issue.
you're less likely to misbehave with your son there, so this assumption that it's a trust issue confuses me...

is there some reason she wouldn't want you and your son spending time together?
is there another issue? ...like he's having marital issues or something?

or is there a reason you should be home at that time? anniversary? birthday?

...maybe she was just having a bad hormone day.
or she could just be a bitch. *shrug*

 

[CALAMBO]

i'd be a little pissed if the idea wasn't run past me before you agreed...not that i'd say no, not that you need permission, just that it's polite and considerate to do so.

if she hasn't objected before then i'm confused...
you've gone away before without it being an issue.
you're less likely to misbehave with your son there, so this assumption that it's a trust issue confuses me...

is there some reason she wouldn't want you and your son spending time together?
is there another issue? ...like he's having marital issues or something?

or is there a reason you should be home at that time? anniversary? birthday?

...maybe she was just having a bad hormone day.
or she could just be a bitch. *shrug*

DOL...thx for your questions...yes maybe i should/would have ran it by her....but here's why...we have owned this lake place for 10 yrs...have enjoyed this activity for 25 yrs...this is a common summer place...yet...wifey is always a selfish type...she is turning into her mother...who never had a sharing bone in her body...Our son and i are becoming better friends than ever...at sometime i deserve his frienship rather than being the enforcer, he had always been her favorite of our children...now as MEN....we are enjoying that...she is jealous i suspect...timing of this event w/his buddy has nothing to do w/it...i suspect leaving her out of the control loop...is it...plain and simple...Andy my son is single as is all of his buddys...and it is just not this event.....IF few other friends want to visit its always..."they just want us for a holiday place/free loading bastards".......to me sharing my good fortune is what life is all about....she is more selfish...when i call her on it....not a happy feeling...she strikes back....BITCH is best word.....yep.

 

[dolfette]

so she's jealous of your relationship with him...she's upset that he's grown out of needing her and grown into wanting you.

i have to ask...why stay together?
you don't sound like a man in love or even fond of his wife.
your kids are grown now. why not be happy?