Sorry for this long ass post, but I feel like all the details will help and I'm trying to sort through this situation...
I'm a 31 y/o gay male and went on this date about a month ago with this lovely guy. I don't really put any expectations on dates. It keeps the pressure off and I think I'm more myself when I go in with an open mind without hoping anything in particular will happen. I was looking forward to hanging out with someone new, as I usually am. I picked him up, we went out for a few drinks, and really started to hit it off. About 20 minutes into sitting at this bar, he started to rub my arm and said "I'm sorry, you're just really cute." I put my hand on his knee and said "It's okay, you're so cute too." The conversation was great and we were clearly both really enjoying ourselves. I'm sitting there thinking to myself "Wow, this guy is delightful. I didn't expect this."
We left to go to a bar closer to his place, had one drink and he invited me back to his apartment. We stopped to pick up some drinks and went back. Once we got there, we took his dog outside and he kissed me. After going back upstairs we kissed a little bit more and eventually sat down with our drinks and started a movie. We made out a little and he cuddled up on me with his head on my lap. We both eventually fell asleep, him with his head in my lap. He woke me up around 4 in the morning and said "Let's go to bed". We went to his bed and he immediately cuddled up right onto me. Like, he was GLUED to me. We laid there for a few minutes and eventually started making out pretty hot and heavy. We didn't have sex, but we slept together in our underwear and felt each other up quite a bit. Throughout the night, we'd wake up occasionally and we made out every time this happened. He'd keep putting my hand on his butt and we seriously cuddled the entire time we were in bed. There was never even a break.
The next morning, he asked me to go for a walk with him and his dog. Then we got coffee and hung at his place for a bit on the couch, and he laid on me again. When we finally agreed it was time to move on with the day, we kissed and of course ended up making out for another 5-10 minutes before I actually left. He said "Please let's hang out again" and I agreed we should.
I texted him a few days later saying what a great time I had and would love to do it again. He said he wanted to also. We agreed we'd try to figure out a time to get together in the next couple weeks as he was traveling a bit. It seemed like we were finally honing in on a time to get together. He suggested we go out to a bar near his place during the upcoming week. I texted him that week and when he texted back he said he had a really great time getting to know me and that he thought we would be "better off" as friends. I asked what changed and he said "I'm still hung up on some guy to be honest". I told him I could understand that, and it's always hard and that I was open to friends too, if he really wanted to be friends. He told me he really did want to be friends and said "I don't have time to waste on people I don't like". I told him I would be happy continuing to get to know him with whatever boundaries he felt he needed.
I was really confused because it seemed like we were on the same page, especially since he was the one making all the moves on me (at least at first). I talked to a couple of my good gay friends about the situation and one of them said he thought it sounded like it was going well and when I said "You do?" he told me "This guy is communicating that he's interested." There's a part of me that thinks that, but I'm not sure, and I don't know how to move forward with getting to know him after a date like that, but I do want to get to know him more. I'd like to hang out with him again, but is it too soon to ask him to hang out as friends? How do I even do that? I don't plan on sitting around waiting for him to decide if he wants to go on another date, but he seems like a really good, genuine guy and I'm happy to continue getting to know him. And I would definitely go on another date if he wanted to and I wasn't seeing anyone. I'm just really confused about this situation, especially with how quickly it seemed to change. It really seemed like we were both so into each other. I'd love to hear some thoughts/advice! Sorry again for this long post!
I'm a 31 y/o gay male and went on this date about a month ago with this lovely guy. I don't really put any expectations on dates. It keeps the pressure off and I think I'm more myself when I go in with an open mind without hoping anything in particular will happen. I was looking forward to hanging out with someone new, as I usually am. I picked him up, we went out for a few drinks, and really started to hit it off. About 20 minutes into sitting at this bar, he started to rub my arm and said "I'm sorry, you're just really cute." I put my hand on his knee and said "It's okay, you're so cute too." The conversation was great and we were clearly both really enjoying ourselves. I'm sitting there thinking to myself "Wow, this guy is delightful. I didn't expect this."
We left to go to a bar closer to his place, had one drink and he invited me back to his apartment. We stopped to pick up some drinks and went back. Once we got there, we took his dog outside and he kissed me. After going back upstairs we kissed a little bit more and eventually sat down with our drinks and started a movie. We made out a little and he cuddled up on me with his head on my lap. We both eventually fell asleep, him with his head in my lap. He woke me up around 4 in the morning and said "Let's go to bed". We went to his bed and he immediately cuddled up right onto me. Like, he was GLUED to me. We laid there for a few minutes and eventually started making out pretty hot and heavy. We didn't have sex, but we slept together in our underwear and felt each other up quite a bit. Throughout the night, we'd wake up occasionally and we made out every time this happened. He'd keep putting my hand on his butt and we seriously cuddled the entire time we were in bed. There was never even a break.
The next morning, he asked me to go for a walk with him and his dog. Then we got coffee and hung at his place for a bit on the couch, and he laid on me again. When we finally agreed it was time to move on with the day, we kissed and of course ended up making out for another 5-10 minutes before I actually left. He said "Please let's hang out again" and I agreed we should.
I texted him a few days later saying what a great time I had and would love to do it again. He said he wanted to also. We agreed we'd try to figure out a time to get together in the next couple weeks as he was traveling a bit. It seemed like we were finally honing in on a time to get together. He suggested we go out to a bar near his place during the upcoming week. I texted him that week and when he texted back he said he had a really great time getting to know me and that he thought we would be "better off" as friends. I asked what changed and he said "I'm still hung up on some guy to be honest". I told him I could understand that, and it's always hard and that I was open to friends too, if he really wanted to be friends. He told me he really did want to be friends and said "I don't have time to waste on people I don't like". I told him I would be happy continuing to get to know him with whatever boundaries he felt he needed.
I was really confused because it seemed like we were on the same page, especially since he was the one making all the moves on me (at least at first). I talked to a couple of my good gay friends about the situation and one of them said he thought it sounded like it was going well and when I said "You do?" he told me "This guy is communicating that he's interested." There's a part of me that thinks that, but I'm not sure, and I don't know how to move forward with getting to know him after a date like that, but I do want to get to know him more. I'd like to hang out with him again, but is it too soon to ask him to hang out as friends? How do I even do that? I don't plan on sitting around waiting for him to decide if he wants to go on another date, but he seems like a really good, genuine guy and I'm happy to continue getting to know him. And I would definitely go on another date if he wanted to and I wasn't seeing anyone. I'm just really confused about this situation, especially with how quickly it seemed to change. It really seemed like we were both so into each other. I'd love to hear some thoughts/advice! Sorry again for this long post!