In your opinion what is a "virgin"?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by BirdinMo, Jan 18, 2009.

  1. BirdinMo

    BirdinMo Member

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    So I have a question for you all. In your opinion what is a “virgin”? I call myself a virgin because I have never had anal sex with anyone. I have done blowjob’s and hand job’s with 2 ex-boyfriend’s. I ask you this only because a very close friend of mine and I were talking about our sexual experiences today. She was talking about her first time and ask me how mine was, I responded “I can’t tell you because I’m still a virgin.” She laughed and said “No you’re not, you’ve done hand job’s and blowjob’s before.” And this made me think, what dose really count as being a virgin, is it a pure never been in a sexual experience before type of person, or is it a person who has done a few thing’s but has never vaginal/anal? Just curious as to what you all think.
    ~Bird~
     
  2. pym

    pym New Member

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    I think that the strict definition is 'one who has not had carnal knowledge of another' The biblical definition is a man or woman who has not had carnal knowledge of one another {or any-one else either!}. I don't think society, as yet, offers a conventional wisdom regarding this matter as far as Gay/Lesbian culture is concerned. I think you can figure out what that is between yourself and who-ever your doing or getting done by.
     
  3. Principessa

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    I think I understand the OP's question and my gut answer was to say you are not a virgin. Then I thought he hasn't fucked or been fucked so clearly he is a virgin. But what about the many gay men that have no desire to have anal sex and never do. They do everything else but penetration. They are still gay, but I wouldn't consider them virgins.
     
    #3 Principessa, Jan 19, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2009
  4. D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse

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    Proponents of federally funded "abstinence only" programs feel that any "sex" -- oral, anal, mutual jackoff -- where the penis does not come into direct contact with a vagina, isn't "sex" at all, strictly speaking.

    By taking anal and oral "sex" out of consideration & off the table as an indicator of losing one's virginity, the "abstinence only" program yields a higher percentage of virgins at year's end when it's time to make the annual reports and ask for additional federally funding.

    Teens can engage in anal sex. Semen can be passed from penis to mouth. And virginity can still be said to be "intact". The teens "wins" (little Tiffany is saving herself for her wedding night!), the "abstinence only" program "wins" (no vaginal intercourse!) -- it's a win-win situation.

    Of course, condoms are frowned upon is such programs (the general public tends to become suspicious of condom use for anal sex described as "abstinence"), so the STD rate is six times higher among "abstinence only" teens compared to the normies.
     
  5. barkerfan

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    This is awesome. It is actually a thread I've contemplated starting, so I'm glad you did. I'm conflicted in my opinion. Here's my thinking. I understand that when someone states they are not a virgin, it is automatically assumed that they have had intercourse. I don't know that I feel that is right because it's kind of misleading. At my age, I doubt it will be an issue but take a younger, straight couple, just for instance. They hook up, she claims she's not a virgin because she's been sexually active.....in other ways. Then all of a sudden....or even after the fact, it comes out that it's her first time. Potentially an awkward as well as big step. Now this is where my confliction comes in. You have an individual who claims status as a virgin. Yet they give blowjobs, handjobs, if it's a girl, or even a guy, they may allow fingering. To me virginity also insinuates innocence, or as you stated, being pure. Inexperience, I guess. So I ask, how can someone go around doing everything else and still claim that innocence? I had a friend who claimed to be a virgin, and did it ALL- even anal but she had not been penetrated vaginally. To her, that was losing her virginity. My roommate says hand jobs and blowjobs don't count, because they aren't real sex. I say they are. I guarantee when he's dating someone, if they commit one of those SEXUAL ACTS behind his back with someone else, they'll be real sex. He'll lose his mind, because they cheated. I don't know. I say if you get involved in sexual activity, you are not a virgin. However, communicating what you have or have not exprienced can probably be a good idea, if you're planning to cross into new territory.
     
  6. pym

    pym New Member

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    Ultimately, this subject is nothing new. And so i think the biblical definition is the most HISTORICALLY defined definition. A virgin has had NO{ZERO} sexual contact AT ALL with another participant.
     
  7. BirdinMo

    BirdinMo Member

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    Well it's good to see people stating what they think! I decided to stop calling my self a virgin and just tell that i have had sexual encounters but nothing "major" yet. I will come up with a better way to say it later on ut I think that will work better.
     
  8. Xcuze

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    I think the word has different meanings for Gays & Straights.

    For straights its a word applied to those who have not had penetrative, vaginal sex. But for Gays it has a less strict meaning & generally means no sexual contact with another man.

    Lets face it, if youve spent the night on your knees sucking cock then youre more of a slut than a virgin!
     
  9. MickeyLee

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    if you've cum with the assistance of another human being *oral, hands* you cashed in your Vcard.

    you can still have a laundry list of sex acts you haven't engaged in or want to engage in you just can't claim to be a virgin anymore. sorry.

    ML

    wanna piss off a dyke, tell her oral sex or finger fucking doesn't count.
    *owes kevin smith a kick in the nuts*
     
  10. D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse

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    The guys who say that oral sex isn't "real sex" are the same guys who cheat on their spouse and pretend they haven't cheated.

    After all, if a married guy sticking his cock into a strange man or woman's mouth and then ejaculating isn't "sex", then no need to feel guilty. No transgression has occurred. Ejaculating into the mouth becomes simply a form of harmless foreplay.
     
  11. prepstudinsc

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    If more than one person is involved, a dick is out, and cum has been shot, it's sex.
    Pure and simple.

    If just one person is there and his dick is out, and cum has been shot, it's not sex.
    It takes two to tango. It's only solitaire if there is one person involved.
     
  12. ManlyBanisters

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    Oooooo - see ML's post prep - yous in trubble wiv da dykez now!! :eek::eek:

    ION: All lesbos iz virginz! :rolleyes::tongue:
     
  13. HazelGod

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    Pffft...there's no such thing as lesbians. Only women in desperate need of some deep dicking.

    (There ya go, Mick!) :wink:
     
  14. Drifterwood

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    Loss of virginity requires penetration as a heterosexual or gay male giving or taking.
     
  15. prepstudinsc

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    I wasn't talking about lesbionic sex, just what makes a man a virgin or not.:biggrin1:
     
  16. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    What this wise man said!
     
  17. Drifterwood

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    And you are very wrong :smile:
     
  18. naughty

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    To add even more to the equation, I was informed at the GYN if ANYTHING ( including a speculum) has penetrated certain orifices the individual is no long er considered technically a virgin. So, that means that in some cases even very young women and men after having a medical examination at the GYN or even urologist are technically and medically no longer a virgin.
    Perhaps I am old school, but I always thought being a virgin meant no penetrative sex vaginally for a female, so I can not speak for any other types of sexual activity. I think there may be a difference between being pure and a virgin . Though one may abstain from the most intimate of sexual contact does sexual knowledge then remove one from the realm of virginity? If so, then the net is spread even further...

    What do you all think about young men or women who have been sexually violated at a young age against their will yet they had no sexual intent on their own part? What do you call them?
     
  19. Xcuze

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    Well I would say they still have the right to call themselves virgins. Assuming they would want to. Rape is an act of violence. Virginity is about sex.
     
  20. naughty

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    I am so glad to hear you say that. I have always thought it heinous that victims have over the years been treated like "tainted goods" because of things they had no control over in the interest of a technicality. Naomi Wolfe discusses this to some degree in her book, Promiscuities. Over my time here I have read some heartbreaking stories of just such things being perpetrated on members here and this treatment has affected them profoundly even into later life.
     
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