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Inadvertent mistakes during sex

B_JenniTalia

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I hope this can be a humorous and insightful topic without getting too heavy. As the title implies, share any silly accidents made during intercourse that lead to humor or conservative injury.

Currently, I am nursing my right cheek and the side of my tongue because I bit down on them in the heat of the moment while flopping onto my stomach.

Yowie, time for a mouth guard!
 

kinda_hung

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My wife. Gf at the time rode me cowgirl first time we had sex. I had a waterbed and her right knee got between the bladder and liner of the bed. We screwed for a good 20min. When we were done she had blood running down her right leg and a huge burn on the side of her knee from rubbing on the rough liner.
 

MrToolhung

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My wife. Gf at the time rode me cowgirl first time we had sex. I had a waterbed and her right knee got between the bladder and liner of the bed. We screwed for a good 20min. When we were done she had blood running down her right leg and a huge burn on the side of her knee from rubbing on the rough liner.

OUCH!
 

MickeyLee

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have fallen out of bed.
almost bit a hole in my lip.
dislocated two fingers *see fall*
given and gotten black eyes.
have dropped a woman.
passed out from shower sex.
broken many lamps.

:redface:
 

The Dragon

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yeppers with broken furniture.

Beds, coffee tables, lamps and enough glass/crystal ware to repopulate my glass cabinet several times over.

Nothing like hard fucking on furniture to test it's strength.
 

MickeyLee

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yeah... my stories might be cooler is all the breakage was a happenstance of hard fucking...
is mostly me being a spaz :redface:
 

The Dragon

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yeah... my stories might be cooler is all the breakage was a happenstance of hard fucking...
is mostly me being a spaz :redface:


Awww...Wraps Ms.MickeyLee in bubble wrap and duct tape except for certain erogenous zones.....ok Dragon's mind has now officially gone wild!:biggrin1:
 

MickeyLee

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*wiggle.. POP... wiggle... POP.... wiggle... POP*
 

The Dragon

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*wiggle.. POP... wiggle... POP.... wiggle... POP*


Hahahah you are reading my mind again because I was going to ask just how hard we'd have to fuck to get the little suckers to pop! :wink::biggrin1:
 
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Young, screwing like mad in missionary position I pull out too far and jam it 3" into her ass. I was going with such force that my cock shot back out, doubled back on itself and let off a loud " POP ". She shot up the headboard and slammed her head on the underside of my shelf knocking my bitchin ghettoblaster to the concrete floor where it exploded into a thousand pieces :(
You just don't forget great times like this ;)
 

MickeyLee

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Hahahah you are reading my mind again because I was going to ask just how hard we'd have to fuck to get the little suckers to pop! :wink::biggrin1:
i got an affection for bubblewrap and bubblewrap's ability to keep danger-girls safe and sound
*PMd someone to that effect yesterday/today.. out brains are scary alike.. *giggles* according to rumor we were the same person for a while*

Young, screwing like mad in missionary position I pull out too far and jam it 3" into her ass. I was going with such force that my cock shot back out, doubled back on itself and let off a loud " POP ". She shot up the headboard and slammed her head on the underside of my shelf knocking my bitchin ghettoblaster to the concrete floor where it exploded into a thousand pieces :(
You just don't forget great times like this ;)

banging on the backdoor without calling ahead ain't funny :grumpy::cool:
 

poultrygal

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I have gotten a lot of carpet burn and unexplained bruises.....now P-man gets a busted lip ALL the time ( I guess I get a little wild when he goes down on me :crazy: :tongue:
 

The Dragon

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I have gotten a lot of carpet burn and unexplained bruises.....now P-man gets a busted lip ALL the time ( I guess I get a little wild when he goes down on me :crazy: :tongue:


*goes into full scale drooling meltdown*
 

atlclgurl

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Haha! Yep. Fallen out of the bed (but kept going) on one more than one occasion.

Had a woman bite me hard enough to leave a bruise on my bicep... didn't even know it was there until I took a shower and was brushing my hair the next day. I just stood there and grinned. LOL
 

Infernal

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Not so much a mistake, but certainly a moment of hilarity....

I was dating this girl who had large breasts. A friend and I had bedrooms side by side with a joining doorway, but there wasn't a door. So this girl and I were having a slow quiet fuck because he was in the other room. With the two of us being sweaty and her breasts being so big, air would sometimes get trapped between us and make some really rude noises. So we're going at it nice and slow and all of a sudden this really loud fart sound comes out between us. I started laughing so hard that I fell off the bed. My friend heard the noise and stuck his head in...finding me naked on the floor, and her naked on the bed with her legs spread. He said, "Damn girl, you blew him off the bed with that one" I started howling and she got up, grabbed her clothes and left. Somehow it all became my fault, but we broke up not long afterwards because she was too much of a bitch for me and I really wanted her brother anyway.
 

RubberHarley

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Mistakes during sex?
On my honeymoon I was so excited, as was my wife, that once she undressed and I saw her large breast fully exposed and big hairy cunt, and once she touched my hard dick, I immediately shot my cum load. I was extremely embarssed, needless to say. she was very calm and got a wash rag and cleaned me up and got me back to a hard on and climbed on top of me and we have been having great sex ever since.
 

sunnyside4lyfe

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Not so much a mistake, but certainly a moment of hilarity....

Somehow it all became my fault, but we broke up not long afterwards because she was too much of a bitch for me and I really wanted her brother anyway.

did you get him? lol
 

AlteredEgo

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I was with this in credibly hot, sensitive, artsy late-bloomer. He had a few years on me, but he had way fewer previous partners. He even had way fewer current partners. What he liked about me was that I was so much more experienced, and that I kept introducing him to new things to try out.

One night in his bed, he decided to try out analingus since I'd done it to him. He started to get into it when he saw the affect it had on me. I was pretty into it too. Perhaps that is why I didn't stop him quickly enough. He took a deep breath, sealed his lips around my pucker, and blew in! He blew in! He put a whole breath up my ass! Before I could stop him, all that air came right back out at him. I farted into his mouth.
 

The Dragon

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I was with this in credibly hot, sensitive, artsy late-bloomer. He had a few years on me, but he had way fewer previous partners. He even had way fewer current partners. What he liked about me was that I was so much more experienced, and that I kept introducing him to new things to try out.

One night in his bed, he decided to try out analingus since I'd done it to him. He started to get into it when he saw the affect it had on me. I was pretty into it too. Perhaps that is why I didn't stop him quickly enough. He took a deep breath, sealed his lips around my pucker, and blew in! He blew in! He put a whole breath up my ass! Before I could stop him, all that air came right back out at him. I farted into his mouth.


OH GODS, NO!!

I bet that was one mistake he never made again! :biggrin1::wink:
 

AlteredEgo

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Yeah, I should hope not! At least we were able to laugh about it. He facial expression was PRICELESS! He said, "I'm okay, I just need a moment." He was a trooper. Right back to work.
 

Snugglebandit

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Gave this chick such bad hickies it looked like her neck as run over by a truck. She couldn't even cover 'em up with any sort of makeup they were so bad/everywhere. Her family is ultra conservative too. She was freaking out and I was sporting the biggest grin ever (on the inside).
 

EdWoody

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Two times I was giving a guy head and I puked on him.

Yeah, I've told my vomit story here before. But what the hell, for old times' sake:

At an all-male sex party at somebody's apartment in Brooklyn. Rooms packed with hot guys, probably at least 40 of us, maybe more. I'm on my knees sucking off this hot young jock guy, decent sized cock if not gigantic. He's face-fucking me pretty hard. Now, I'm normally pretty good with controlling the gag reflex - guys have been impressed. But this guy is just not taking my signals when I need to come back up for air. And somehow he just triggers something, and I jerk back off his dick and immediately vomit all over him. Puke on his pubes, puke on his shoes, puke in a big steaming pile on the floor in a room full of rutting guys. The room is forced to evacuate from the stink, ruining more than 40 guys' nights, and it's at least a month before I can bear to show my face in public again.

But before that, I had one where it wasn't so much a physical mistake as a conversational one. The very first guy I'd had sex with as an openly gay man, and to be fair, he was pretty small. Of course, one doesn't say so if one is not a total asshole. He however did say to me, "Wow, you're so much bigger than me." I said, "I'm not that big. I've seen some others much bigger than me." "I must be a real tiddler, then," he replied. Oops, thought I. That might not have been the right thing to say.

.
 
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The first and only time I hooked up with a total random was at a party just before the holidays. Our eyes met, we had a drink, yadda yadda, and promptly excused ourselves to the bathroom upstairs.

The next day the tip of my cock hurt. Like... a lot. It was tender to touch and I noticed small flecks of discoloration. Naturally, I freaked, vowed to amend my ways, and went to the nearest clinic.

Thankfully, the flecks of discoloration were nothing more than tiny bruises caused by over-vigorous, drunken fellatio. I was scared shitless for a full 12 hours that I had contracted some strange disease from this total random.

Lesson learned. Relief followed.
 

redbear52

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I too accidentally slipped out and went partway in a gal's butt while doing it doggy style. Fortunately, no harm done to either party.

Onetime a former girlfriend and I got horny during a walk in a wooded park and enjoyed a quickie. She stowed her panties in her hand bag and didn't put them back on afterward.

Later that afternoon we went to a movie and she payed for the tickets. When she opened her bag in front of the ticket girl, out popped her panties.
 

Endued

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I'm disappointed/relieved no one's said "my kids".

And I'm happy to say I am 100% incident free.
 

art

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I was a hopeful virgin, making out with a new girlfriend. We were undressing each other as we kissed and made out. She was a great kisser, and I was super stiff in my tight briefs. She takes off her underwear, lies on the bed, and invites me in. I peel off my jockeys, get close, and she reaches to guide me inside. As soon as my cock touches her outer lips, I cum. I pretend I don't know any better, and continue to thrust inside her until we both cum again. We both orgasmed five or six times that night.

Same girl, later. We're engaged in vigorous missionary sex. I pull my cock completely out, thinking it'll be even hotter if I let her have the whole length. Except I miss, and enter her anally. Oops...not what she expected. But she liked it!