Inadvertent mistakes during sex

[EllieP]

OMG, I can't believe I'm going to tell stories on him, but they're just too funny! LOL!

Most of the bad things happened to Cap, and he's so sweet he doesn't deserve them but that just makes them funnier!

When we were first together we tried to 69, except I never had anyone that big before but I gave it the old college try. Well, my teeth scraped him up so bad we couldn't have sex for five days! It was so pitiful - red and painful looking.

Once we were in the hot tub, and we tried this position where I was sitting on the edge with my feet hanging outside, Cap was inside. Our spa has brick siding. In the heat of the moment I slipped or jerked forward and he almost broke Little Cap on the edge of the bricks! Yikes!!!! Another five days or more! Poor baby!

Probably the worst is my fault. Daughter was spending the night with a friend after a Friday night football game so we had the house to ourselves! Yay! We went out for dinner and a movie, but we didn't even make it through the movie. We started fooling around and finally decided we needed to get home quickly. Well, we started undressing before we even got inside, and by the time we got to the kitchen we were both nude. I said something about never baptizing the kitchen and he just made a goofy laugh. So I climbed on the counter but it was so dark I told him to go and get a candle out of the half bath right next to the kitchen. Poor baby walked right in on my daughter on the toilet! She had stopped by to pick up some things after the game before going to her girlfriend's house. It sounded like somebody was being murdered, and I'm sure she thought that's what was happening with this naked man bursting in on her! LOL!

Poor hubby almost slammed Little Cap in the door trying to escape from there. I scooped up our clothes and we ran to the bedroom. I got a robe, and I think Cap went hide under the bed. I went and talked to Pris about what was going on and she finally just started laughing about it and so did I! But poor Cap was never the same. He became so paranoid around her that he suffered performance anxiety for weeks whenever Pris was home. Thank god she finally went to college!!! LOL!

 

[B_dMonica]

• Many moons ago I had the most ridiculous sequence of embarrassing events. A long leisurely make-out session followed by the suggestion of a shower. Lots more making out in shower, including my head being completely drenched under the shower head. Hot and difficult to breathe. Blowjob in shower, resulting in boy getting a bit carried away and basically fucking my head. It was boiling and steamy and I couldn't breathe... He still wasn't with it and I was so light headed that I couldn't say anything so I ended up blacking out.
  
  Later I find myself out of the shower, he's panic stricken, and I had to sit on the floor and breathe deeply for about ten minutes until my vision came back and I stopped retching. Sexy.
  
  Then, for some reason, we still continued. Mood was pretty much killed when the boy had three condom disasters in a row and I couldn't stop laughing at him. Sexings eventually occurred...until the discovery of my supposedly-finished period deciding to make a very unwelcome reappearance.
  
  We gave up and he ended up getting a handjob in the end. It was just ridiculous.

• If anyone's ever tried scissoring, you'll know it's hilarious. You end up in the strangest positions and it's terribly spacious for a single bed. When I shifted over to get more space, I sort of pushed her off the bed and she dragged me down with her. When I spilled off the bed, I reached out to grab whatever I could on my way down and found the curtains. The curtains, curtain rod, and mounting brackets all tore off the wall with me, and then my giant arc lamp promptly fell on us. At which point I jumped up and took care of the lamp before checking to see if she was all right. She wasn't, we get into a heated exchange of words, start to laugh, and to our horror realize the rest of the pool party is now looking through the curtainless window with us illuminated by the giant lamp overhead. Many hoots and hollers went unanswered as we flicked the lamp off and slunk away from the moonlight.

• Last one. My then fella and me had not long just started having sex so we were still getting kinda used to it. We were messing around and about to get to it when he knee's me in between the legs. I shouted out in pain, slapped him and turned the other way. His room was inescapably small tho, sort of like a tiny little broom closet. I felt bad, I knew he felt bad, and why waste a perfectly good excuse for vigorous sex, so back to it!

His bedroom was literally so small that, in certain places, he could hold me against the wall and I could brace my feet against the bed, which was pressed into the other wall, and we would go at it like rabbits the night before rabbit stew's on the menu.

We were sexing away for God only knows how long, and I'm a pretty vocal person at the best of times and this guy was GOOD. He'd originally fitted me up a gag and blindfold but they were loosely tied and we were crashing about so the gag had come off and I was wailing like a burglar alarm in heat. When we'd finished, he didn't have the strength to hold me and we both slid down the wall onto the ground and lay there in a sweaty post-coital silence. The silence was deeeeep.

After a bit, he started to fish around for some tissues and we heard, clear as a bell, from next door,
"Was that as entertaining for you as it was for me?"
"Well, I'm not sure about that, but the shaking and cries certainly beat organizing this presentation."
"Do you think we ought to check if he's fucked her to death?.... they're awfully quiet"
"I'd rather not see the corpse of a fucked-to-death girl to be honest."

GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD.​

 

[MickeyLee]

*hi-fives fellow shower black-out girl*
ya wake up with this "why are you freaking out... umm why am i am a tile floor... damn, you are fucking tall... did anybody cum?" thought jumble

 

[Intrigue]

Best stories ever dMonica. Seriously, hilarious. I'll wait for my wife to come and retell any stories. My memory is crap and it would mostly be made up bits to fill in my shitty memories. I think I need some ginko biloba or something. I tune out the outside world way too much.

 

[poptarts]

Just going to give you the short description:

Was getting blow job from girlfriend in the bathroom, caused her to gag, and she threw up frozen margarita on me while I was cumming. As Barney Stinson would say, it was awfsome

 

[B_dMonica]

Best stories ever dMonica. Seriously, hilarious.

Haha, thanks!

I probably have a bunch more buried in some dark corner of my mind. I just have to rollback my sexual history in my head.

 

[Intrigue]

Haha, thanks!

I probably have a bunch more buried in some dark corner of my mind. I just have to rollback my sexual history in my head.

I know what ya mean. Some things that happened in my earlier years are probably best left forgotten.

 

[umami_tsunami]

This is less sexual mistake than an embarrassing situation. I think many of us have experience with the inadvertent anal penetrations and weird noises, so I won’t re-hash those.

I went to meet up with a lover for a weekend rendezvous in a nice hotel. We had planned some offbeat sexual activities and brought some unconventional props with us for role playing and sensual exploration.

We had basically turned the very nice bathroom into a giant slip-and-slide with plastic painting tarps and were covered in about 1/3 of a grocery store worth of melted chocolate and ice cream, smashed bananas, mangoes, coconut flakes, various chopped nuts, honey, maraschino cherries- you name it we were wearing it. We were trying to be careful not to really destroy anything, but this bathroom was a wreck. We were fucking like rutting animals and quite truly covered in food. Neither of us heard housekeeping knock and enter, but did hear the gasp at the bathroom door. The poor girl was gobsmacked. She finally stammered something about coming back later and retreated. We resumed and made sure the DND was up after that. We did clean up pretty well after ourselves, but it just goes to show: people do gnarly things in hotel rooms.

 

[EllieP]

Wow Monica, I never blacked out in the shower before, but I can see how it could happen. Worst that's happened to me is just completely draining my sinuses during one of my kneel-down sessions in Cap's gianormous shower. I didn't realize it, and I'm sure I looked sexy as hell having finished him off and looking up at him with snot running down my nose down both sides of my mouth. Oooo, that Ellie - every sexy! LOL!

 

[The Dragon]

This is less sexual mistake than an embarrassing situation. I think many of us have experience with the inadvertent anal penetrations and weird noises, so I won’t re-hash those.

I went to meet up with a lover for a weekend rendezvous in a nice hotel. We had planned some offbeat sexual activities and brought some unconventional props with us for role playing and sensual exploration.

We had basically turned the very nice bathroom into a giant slip-and-slide with plastic painting tarps and were covered in about 1/3 of a grocery store worth of melted chocolate and ice cream, smashed bananas, mangoes, coconut flakes, various chopped nuts, honey, maraschino cherries- you name it we were wearing it. We were trying to be careful not to really destroy anything, but this bathroom was a wreck. We were fucking like rutting animals and quite truly covered in food. Neither of us heard housekeeping knock and enter, but did hear the gasp at the bathroom door. The poor girl was gobsmacked. She finally stammered something about coming back later and retreated. We resumed and made sure the DND was up after that. We did clean up pretty well after ourselves, but it just goes to show: people do gnarly things in hotel rooms.

WOW!!

9 1/2 weeks sex in front of the refrigerator scene on steroids!
Awesome and HOT!

 

[MickeyLee]

This is less sexual mistake than an embarrassing situation. I think many of us have experience with the inadvertent anal penetrations and weird noises, so I won’t re-hash those.

I went to meet up with a lover for a weekend rendezvous in a nice hotel. We had planned some offbeat sexual activities and brought some unconventional props with us for role playing and sensual exploration.

We had basically turned the very nice bathroom into a giant slip-and-slide with plastic painting tarps and were covered in about 1/3 of a grocery store worth of melted chocolate and ice cream, smashed bananas, mangoes, coconut flakes, various chopped nuts, honey, maraschino cherries- you name it we were wearing it. We were trying to be careful not to really destroy anything, but this bathroom was a wreck. We were fucking like rutting animals and quite truly covered in food. Neither of us heard housekeeping knock and enter, but did hear the gasp at the bathroom door. The poor girl was gobsmacked. She finally stammered something about coming back later and retreated. We resumed and made sure the DND was up after that. We did clean up pretty well after ourselves, but it just goes to show: people do gnarly things in hotel rooms.

*walks into bathroom.. sniff* dude, the bathroom smells like a banana splits and sex?!?

 

[umami_tsunami]

*walks into bathroom.. sniff* dude, the bathroom smells like a banana splits and sex?!?

What a great weekend that was. I'm getting a little husky just thinking about it.

 

[Russ311]

I have many, but the best happen on Thursday! Me and my dude were wrestling, getting in the mood, and i tried to take him and slipped on the wood floor. My legs came out from under me and as I was heading to the floor I grabbed his arm. He hit is head on the footboard and I landed bare skin slapping on the floor. We laughes, composed ourselves and resumed!

 

[456521]

Two come to mind:

1) I once passed out while I was riding a guy. It was really late, I was super drunk, and we had been having sex for about an hour because he couldn't cum. At some point I had an "assgasm" while on top and I leaned over him to rest for a minute, and that's when I fell asleep. The next day he was super pissed, especially because I was too sore to continue with the sex.

2) When I was in high school I was giving my fb a blowjob and trying to get him to cum before his parents came home. When he finally came it felt like twice his normal amount, which was already a lot. I thought I swallowed it all but as soon as I walked into my own house, my mother asked what was on my sweatshirt. When I looked down I had two huge white stains on the front of my sweatshirt, and I was so embarrased I ended up giving her some kind of incoherent explanation that involved eating a sandwich with mayo. To make matters worse, I could never wash the stains out, so I felt guilty everytime I wore what used to be my favorite sweatshirt in front of my family.