Inadvertent mistakes during sex

The Dragon

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I was with this in credibly hot, sensitive, artsy late-bloomer. He had a few years on me, but he had way fewer previous partners. He even had way fewer current partners. What he liked about me was that I was so much more experienced, and that I kept introducing him to new things to try out.

One night in his bed, he decided to try out analingus since I'd done it to him. He started to get into it when he saw the affect it had on me. I was pretty into it too. Perhaps that is why I didn't stop him quickly enough. He took a deep breath, sealed his lips around my pucker, and blew in! He blew in! He put a whole breath up my ass! Before I could stop him, all that air came right back out at him. I farted into his mouth.


OH GODS, NO!!

I bet that was one mistake he never made again! :biggrin1::wink:
 

Snugglebandit

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Gave this chick such bad hickies it looked like her neck as run over by a truck. She couldn't even cover 'em up with any sort of makeup they were so bad/everywhere. Her family is ultra conservative too. She was freaking out and I was sporting the biggest grin ever (on the inside).
 

EdWoody

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Two times I was giving a guy head and I puked on him.

Yeah, I've told my vomit story here before. But what the hell, for old times' sake:

At an all-male sex party at somebody's apartment in Brooklyn. Rooms packed with hot guys, probably at least 40 of us, maybe more. I'm on my knees sucking off this hot young jock guy, decent sized cock if not gigantic. He's face-fucking me pretty hard. Now, I'm normally pretty good with controlling the gag reflex - guys have been impressed. But this guy is just not taking my signals when I need to come back up for air. And somehow he just triggers something, and I jerk back off his dick and immediately vomit all over him. Puke on his pubes, puke on his shoes, puke in a big steaming pile on the floor in a room full of rutting guys. The room is forced to evacuate from the stink, ruining more than 40 guys' nights, and it's at least a month before I can bear to show my face in public again.

But before that, I had one where it wasn't so much a physical mistake as a conversational one. The very first guy I'd had sex with as an openly gay man, and to be fair, he was pretty small. Of course, one doesn't say so if one is not a total asshole. He however did say to me, "Wow, you're so much bigger than me." I said, "I'm not that big. I've seen some others much bigger than me." "I must be a real tiddler, then," he replied. Oops, thought I. That might not have been the right thing to say.

.
 

D_Dierks Bentwilly

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The first and only time I hooked up with a total random was at a party just before the holidays. Our eyes met, we had a drink, yadda yadda, and promptly excused ourselves to the bathroom upstairs.

The next day the tip of my cock hurt. Like... a lot. It was tender to touch and I noticed small flecks of discoloration. Naturally, I freaked, vowed to amend my ways, and went to the nearest clinic.

Thankfully, the flecks of discoloration were nothing more than tiny bruises caused by over-vigorous, drunken fellatio. I was scared shitless for a full 12 hours that I had contracted some strange disease from this total random.

Lesson learned. Relief followed.
 

redbear52

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I too accidentally slipped out and went partway in a gal's butt while doing it doggy style. Fortunately, no harm done to either party.

Onetime a former girlfriend and I got horny during a walk in a wooded park and enjoyed a quickie. She stowed her panties in her hand bag and didn't put them back on afterward.

Later that afternoon we went to a movie and she payed for the tickets. When she opened her bag in front of the ticket girl, out popped her panties.
 

art

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I was a hopeful virgin, making out with a new girlfriend. We were undressing each other as we kissed and made out. She was a great kisser, and I was super stiff in my tight briefs. She takes off her underwear, lies on the bed, and invites me in. I peel off my jockeys, get close, and she reaches to guide me inside. As soon as my cock touches her outer lips, I cum. I pretend I don't know any better, and continue to thrust inside her until we both cum again. We both orgasmed five or six times that night.

Same girl, later. We're engaged in vigorous missionary sex. I pull my cock completely out, thinking it'll be even hotter if I let her have the whole length. Except I miss, and enter her anally. Oops...not what she expected. But she liked it!
 

rawbone8

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Pulling out of her vagina at climax to rub it out against her clit... what normally would have landed on her belly and breasts took a quantum leap forward to her face & hair and the wall behind her.

I hadn't expected it to be so... ballistic. Oh well. Shoot happens.
 

hardjohnson

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I have killed 2 laptops in separate incidents by accidently kicking drinks onto them during sex. I own a toughbook now. its waterproof.
 

B_Nicodemous

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Dear lord, just to many to list! Hose who know me know how accident prone I am on a GOOD day. Add sweat, spit and cum (precum to) into the mix with some super slick silicon lube?

I have:

Fallen out of bed, broke a head board (or three) given a black eye, accidently throat punched a guy with my elbow, broke 3 toes (don't ask), broken capmuters, glassware, one table, a few chairs, bit my lip, had my balls slapped hard (he was aiming for my ass but I moved at the wrong time. OUCH! I felt worse for him as he was all apologetic, the dear. Wasn't him who moved funky and cuasedit to happen!, lol) to the point where I thought I would puke (it was a REALLY hard slap. Had it hit my ass I would have been in heaven! lol), been poked in the eye with his cock (us drunk and moving a bit to vigerously forward), had rug burn till I bleed (didn't notice at the time), slipped and keed him in the back, and on and on and on...

:redface:

Sad thing is...when I look at it..I am actually MORE graceful when having sex and there being seat, spit, precum, cum and lube! :eek: I am injured more often ona daily basis doing mundane things (tore soft tissue in my ankle folding clothes...feel free to ask! LOL!)

I'm a mega spaz:redface:

Oh and to Mickey lee: the first person who psoted about the unintended anal, I DO believe it was an accident. Go back and read it. It sounds like he was going at it, pulled out to far and re entered the wrong hole. Also his dick bent and POPPED! ouch so ouchies all around.
 

B_JenniTalia

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This thread is a lot more successful than I had expected!

I might as well share another idiotic moment from my past: As most women have experienced at one time or another, there can be an extremely fine line of when to cease an oral performance on a boy toy. To my own credit, I did not cross this line, at least initially...

He was reclined in a large office chair with legs spread as far as the frame would allow. I had assumed a kneeling a position, then deep into my usual routine. My offhand was cupping and rubbing his balls like a poor magician trying incessantly to make something disappear. My other hand was grasping near the base of his shaft doing the "Heinz-it-up" motion, and my face was exactly where any sane person receiving a blowjob would expect to find it.

Shortly there-after, I heard a guttural grunt along the lines of "HrmmMMm, stop. Stop! Or I am going to cum!", and so I did. Hands-free, tongue retracted, lips pursed with anticipation, I was flicking my hungry gazed back and fro between his cock and strained face, wondering which would prevail. I have no idea what possessed me at that very moment, but I decided it would be great fun to encircle his cock once again with my good hand. No sooner had I gingerly grasped and tipped his dick down towards my face, did he unexpectedly unload square into my gaze. I am not talking about an errant squirt here, or an unlucky miss that finds the forehead or a lock of hair. I mean right into the bridge of my nose and crooks of both eyes.

Comical as it was, the stinging quickly took over and I was half walking, half trotting to the ensuite with as much grace as I could muster in my cum blurred daze. Besides having a good laugh during a thorough rinsing of tap water, neither of us thought much of it. The next day I awoke first, and it was business as usual. My eyes were slightly scratchy, but I chalked that up to the previous evening’s endeavor. Then I saw myself in the mirror… with horror I realized both my eyes were swollen and pink. I will spare you the grotesque details, but suffice it to say, I had managed to contract conjunctivitis and was in for a very interesting visit with my physician.
 
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MickeyLee

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Oh and to Mickey lee: the first person who psoted about the unintended anal, I DO believe it was an accident. Go back and read it. It sounds like he was going at it, pulled out to far and re entered the wrong hole. Also his dick bent and POPPED! ouch so ouchies all around.

was a faux-grump, Mr. Nico.. still.. it ain't fun or funny. unless ya count the face you make when it happens :tongue1:

i
 

B_Nicodemous

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was a faux-grump, Mr. Nico.. still.. it ain't fun or funny. unless ya count the face you make when it happens :tongue1:

i

LOL! well as long as it was unintentional I found the senario in its entirty funny. The chugging along, the slip, the ouchy for both was wice inducing, but no more than watching a baseball hit some poor shmucks balls. But the part i found funny was picturring his face as he watches (as he is presumably holding his busted ween) his ghettoblaster (and I laughed at THAT just cuz I hadn`t heard the term since the eighties! nostalgia is cool!) drop in that weird slow motion we have all experienced, and that stray thought that may have gone though his head "maybe it will bounce..." LMAO!

I feel for the owie anus...i do. And the popped deflated dick. But the death of the innocent ghettoblaster just tickled me. I know, prolly wholly inappropriate. But if you could see that one moment in my mind...:redface:

I`m kinda insulted that you didn`t comment on my calmatious sex life. It`s as if I am such a spaz that people can tell even over the introwebz, and think "yeah, that sounds about right...". *sniffle* :tongue:
 

MickeyLee

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ya know you are fucking hard when you are fucking in the glittering death spark of a fallen ghettoblaster.

PS. he gets love for using "ghettoblaster"

for true.. poking in the eye during sex is actually more painful. and requires heaps of explaining the next day "i no has a contagion.. i got poked in the eye" *sad http://www.lpsg.org/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=3638808face*

Ms. Jenni understands :rofl:
 
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yllwdeuce

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My jaw sometimes locks fully open....anyways, I had her legs over my shoulders, pumping away and kissing her inner thighs...must of been getting a little too aggresive, and as I was about to orgasm, my jaw locked open....I freaked out, tried to get it back into place....but kept on cumming! She was along for the ride, and didn't even realize I was ontop of her trying to get my freakin' jaw back into place!! (Till her eyes opened back up!)

Good times!:biggrin1:
 

D_Pokin Joe Frazier

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I was fucking my girl really hard at the edge of the bed an when I slammed into her super hard she started to fall off the bed an she grab my DICK to catch herself an I heard a POP as she pulled me off the bed with her!!!