Yes there are. I have met some. They are the reason I always pay for my own drinks. They are the reason I get a man I trust to escort me from a party or public place where I have had to repeatedly reject someone who has pretty much said they "deserve a woman like" me simply because they are interested, and present, and I am interesting and occupied their time. Nevermind that they imposed their company upon me in the first place. They are the reason I learned to melt into a crowd and vanish.
One such man harrassed my mother so much at a neighbor's holiday party that she left early. It was her once a month night out without her baby (me). He followed her and forced his way into our house. Luckily, the neighbor gave her a Christmas present on her way out. It was a bottle of Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad. She beat him brutally with it. She thought he was dead. She dragged him back out into our backyard and went to bed, resolved to figure out what to do in the morning. I think she was waiting for a chief she knew to be on duty. She worked for the police. At dawn, she went back out, and he was gone. So, she washed away the blood, and never opened that bottle. It sat in the garage, which is where she showed it to me, and told the tale as a warning. Then proceeded to give me a blunt force trauma tour of our home, which was more defensible than I ever knew. That motherfucker came into our HOME determined to take what she wouldn't give. He felt entitled to it. He said so by following her, and entering the door just beneath my bedroom window. My mother said all she could think of while she struggled with him was she couldn't scream for help because I might have been the first to arrive. I was very little.
https://www.essence.com/hot-topic-news/black-women-killed-for-saying-no
https://babe.net/2017/04/17/rejecti...-really-no-wonder-were-terrified-of-them-1551
“Many people participating in these conversations seemed to point to the
UCSB shootings as an isolated incident, the work of a mad man who had nothing to do with reality,”
the About page reads.
^^^From the above link, in reference to the following page:
http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/tagged/personal
The following, from that Tumblr, resonated with me.
"He told me he followed me home every day. He said he wanted to rape me. He’d lean into my ear when I was working and whisper sexual innuendoes and horrible things and my managers didn’t do anything. They didn’t ban him. They yelled at me for causing issues at work, and for hiding in the back. He continued to corner me in the store until I quit. I’ve never not looked over my shoulder when walking ever since. I remember this as the event that made me start constantly questioning my safety. It only got worse from there."
I was [age redacted] when mine began following me home. He was a little older, but relatively close in age. It didn't matter that he followed me home. He lived three doors down. He already knew where to find me. It mattered that instead of walking with me, like a normal neighbor, he stayed close behind, and whispered threats of sexual violence the whole way. I stole my mother's condoms, terrified he would find a way to force me, or cut me, or any of the other promises. I thought maybe if I couldn't escape, I could convince him to protect us both from me getting pregnant.
Later, when we were in high school, he murdered a boy from the next block. I was absolutely not safe from him. If I saw him today, I would stun him first, and ask questions later. He's still a wanted fugitive.
He killed that boy with a BB gun. It took 17 pellets. He also shot me on several occasions with that gun, but from much further away, a few shots at a time, always on my butt.
If he hadn't fled the country to slip that murder rap, he'd have cut me open and left me to die, just like he said he would, all because I was dismissive of his advances, even though other than making those advances, he'd never once been kind to me. Many times he'd tried to get me alone. Many times he sent other neighborhood boys I trusted more to try to lead me down his parents' driveway, but I was never fooled. I was hurt when the one I actually considered a friend (even after he put my favorite Barbie on my grandmother's roof and broke my roller skates) participated in a gambit. I thought of him as an older brother. I loved him. What was he promised in return for getting me down the alley, and, I guess, into the basement? Was he supposed to have a turn with me too?
Why'd they treat me this way? Because I was the first with breasts, and since my jiggly presence was making them hard, it was my job to relieve them. My mother and I literally chased a group of boys from my porch every day with the hose.
I have many more stories. This is just the one that resonates with the first entry to really catch my eye on that page. To hell with anyone who thinks there's no such thing as males who feel entitled to have whatever they want from women, and who resort to evil when they are told no.
https://www.damemagazine.com/2017/10/24/men-are-killing-thousands-women-year-saying-no/amp/
Twice.
Once, when I was about 24, I met a nice man in Grand Central Station. I liked his genteel manners and Carolina accent. He said he was a school teacher. He was sexy, and I gave him my number when he asked. We spoke on the phone often, almost daily. We wanted to arrange a date, but lived far apart. Meanwhile, I grew close to a friend of mine, the man I eventually married. When he said he was moving to be close to me, I realized we needed a chance to make a partnership work. I began breaking off all my affairs. Most men resisted the idea of no longer being sexual because "some guy" I never met in person was going to be my boyfriend soon. However, my decision was final, and they accepted that. Two agreed we'd always be friends, no matter what, and wished me the best. The Carolina schoolteacher went insane. He harassed me for years, vascillating between name-calling, and threats of violence, and sweet-talking. I really think the only reason I'm alive is he didn't have my address. He only stopped calling because early one Saturday, two years or so later, my fiance, just home from a deployment, answered my phone, and insisted he leave his woman alone. To this day, an unfamiliar number from a certain area code sends chills down my spine. Not that I get many calls from there.
The second time was recently. I'm actually not sure I want to post much about it. He removed a condom without my knowledge and ejaculated inside me. I had ovulated, which he knew, several days prior. I did not get pregnant. When I said I could smell semen, he gaslighted me. But the smell was so strong on my drive home that I pulled over to check. There was still semen inside me, and some in my underwear. When I confronted him again, he tried to make it seem like my anger, and feelings of violation were unreasonable. When I made it clear we would never see each other again, he began threatening me, calling me names, slut-shaming me. It was days before he would leave me alone. When we'd been on good terms, he said a fantasy he had was me fucking someone else, with him listening on the phone. The last thing he said the last time we spoke was, "At least call me when you're fucking the next one. That's the LEAST you could do." A few months later, he recognized me on a dating site and sent me a message asking for a ride to work.
For real? A few months later, forgetting he had a second job there, I went I to a fast food place where he worked, because I was at the laundromat next door, and I'd gotten thirsty. We locked eyes right away, and he began whispering to a co-worker. I will not make that mistake again. Also, I can't ever trust the food there. You know?
I'm tired now. If you Google "women killed for saying no" you get the above links and many more resources.
Go to hell, anyone who comes along with their bullshit about Not All Men, and a few rotten apples, and feminist conspiracy, and whatever else. Straight. To. Hell. Today, please.
