Incessant Talking

bravesoldier

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Friends this is a very real issue, I'm sure not only to me. I've been in a relationship for about a year with a great guy who loves me, no doubt. We're not kids anymore and he assures me he's never loved anyone like he loves me. I didn't think I'd find love again and in him I have. There is this one huge problem, he talks incessantly. It seems if he is awake he thinks words have to be coming out of his mouth. Even though I love him very much, quite honestly, it drives me insane. If he has a story to tell, even a lengthy one, it is not just that. Every possible molecule of information he can possible think of is shared and even more than that if he can think of it. He says this trait runs in his family and he was born with it. He knows he has this problem but can't control it. He knows it grates on my nerves. To me it is sheer torture. It is like anything else constant, that is a distraction or irritation to anyone. It is worst while talking on the phone. I stopped him once and told him he'd been talking constant for 23 minutes and I'd said "yeah" three times. He is nearly powerless to stop this. He told me once (about someone else) this is a mental disorder of the mind. He doesn't think he is as bad as someone else, even though that doesn't matter. I've considered breaking it off with him because I literally can't stand the thought of having to bear it for the rest of my life, as we are talking about getting married.

Does anyone out there have an experience like this? I wouldn't mind hearing your story, but more so hearing if anyone knows if there are meds that can control this type of disorder. It seems to me what he needs is something to slow his brain down. His brain and thoughts run 100 miles per hour at all times. He needs help and I don't want to lose him.

But, I can't take it much longer. In truth there is no way I can describe what an epic problem this is for me.
 

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I totally 'get it' that it's overwhelming to be on the receiving end of that. I have a friend who I have had to just not do phone calls with any longer because I never can get a word in. I have just put the phone down walked away and come back (say to go take a leak, or just do something) and she has not even noticed that I was gone. It's crazy dude!

Now face to face I can't imagine dealing with that for years. You have to just explain, and explain emphatically that the constant 'verbal vomit' is taking a toll on things. Not a comfortable thing to do but dude... you will go nuts if this is really bothering you as you described. The situation would not be tenable.
 
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LaFemme

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He might have adult ADD. He should be assessed and perhaps medications can help. At home, does coffee calm him down? Red Bull? Interestingly enough, the meds used to treat ADD are stimulants, so those who with it actually can drink coffee at night to go to sleep. My girl has a mild case, so does her dad and his family. They all talk without stopping. They all drink a pot of coffee at night. And once my girl got old enough to drink coffee, her non-stop talking got a bit better. She drinks coffee like it’s going out of style. Never affects her sleep, though. Two cups puts her out like a light.
 

bravesoldier

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He might have adult ADD. He should be assessed and perhaps medications can help. At home, does coffee calm him down? Red Bull? Interestingly enough, the meds used to treat ADD are stimulants, so those who with it actually can drink coffee at night to go to sleep. My girl has a mild case, so does her dad and his family. They all talk without stopping. They all drink a pot of coffee at night. And once my girl got old enough to drink coffee, her non-stop talking got a bit better. She drinks coffee like it’s going out of style. Never affects her sleep, though. Two cups puts her out like a light.

Never heard of that but thanks for the advice. I believe adult HD, not ADD, may be a big part if not all of his problem. He also has a habit of staying up late at night doing all manner of things and struggles to get up the next morning. Good thing he's salary, he runs late for work every morning. He will not stop staying up either. I have tactfully talked to him about it, but like the talking, no result.
 
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He might have adult ADD. He should be assessed and perhaps medications can help. At home, does coffee calm him down? Red Bull? Interestingly enough, the meds used to treat ADD are stimulants, so those who with it actually can drink coffee at night to go to sleep. My girl has a mild case, so does her dad and his family. They all talk without stopping. They all drink a pot of coffee at night. And once my girl got old enough to drink coffee, her non-stop talking got a bit better. She drinks coffee like it’s going out of style. Never affects her sleep, though. Two cups puts her out like a light.

I don't think the boyfriend sees there's a problem or when there is that he is the cause.
Problematic.
 
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LaFemme

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Never heard of that but thanks for the advice. I believe adult HD, not ADD, may be a big part if not all of his problem. He also has a habit of staying up late at night doing all manner of things and struggles to get up the next morning. Good thing he's salary, he runs late for work every morning. He will not stop staying up either. I have tactfully talked to him about it, but like the talking, no result.
Well, I can empathize. The talking made me crazy. If it wasn’t for the love, I think I’d go bananas. And she has a mild case. She’s 20 and uses coffee to control it without medication. I know several adults with severe cases, and they take meds. They still talk a lot, but at least they’re capable of listening. I wish you the best!
 

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I don't think the boyfriend sees there's a problem or when there is that he is the cause.
Problematic.
No, he probably doesn’t. He won’t unless it starts to affect his life in a negative way. It does now, he just doesn’t see it. People likely avoid him, because they just don’t have time.

But if it comes down to jeopardizing his relationship? Maybe.
 

bravesoldier

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Well, I can empathize. The talking made me crazy. If it wasn’t for the love, I think I’d go bananas. And she has a mild case. She’s 20 and uses coffee to control it without medication. I know several adults with severe cases, and they take meds. They still talk a lot, but at least they’re capable of listening. I wish you the best!

@LaFemme, thanks so much, I need it. He is such a great guy capable of giving real love, but I can't take the stress of the talking.
 
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@LaFemme, thanks so much, I need it. He is such a great guy capable of giving real love, but I can't take the stress of the talking.

Bro, I'd hate to be in your shoes.
Besides joking about ear plugs I could think of one involving head phones or a white noise machine.
Or that there's no problem that can't be solved by a large penis and sex.

But I'm just again going to wish you best of luck!
 

stustu

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Sounds like a mental or emotional issue.
Since you have discussed it with him, do it again. Stress that you find it offensive and a big problem.
Make an appointment with his doctor and go with him to help explain the problem.
Medications or a referral to another medical specialist is past due.
Please explore all avenues before throwing in the towel.
Some people just need a little medical attention and would be fine.
(I speak from experience - my own!!)
 

upright101

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Friends this is a very real issue, I'm sure not only to me. I've been in a relationship for about a year with a great guy who loves me, no doubt. We're not kids anymore and he assures me he's never loved anyone like he loves me. I didn't think I'd find love again and in him I have. There is this one huge problem, he talks incessantly. It seems if he is awake he thinks words have to be coming out of his mouth. Even though I love him very much, quite honestly, it drives me insane. If he has a story to tell, even a lengthy one, it is not just that. Every possible molecule of information he can possible think of is shared and even more than that if he can think of it. He says this trait runs in his family and he was born with it. He knows he has this problem but can't control it. He knows it grates on my nerves. To me it is sheer torture. It is like anything else constant, that is a distraction or irritation to anyone. It is worst while talking on the phone. I stopped him once and told him he'd been talking constant for 23 minutes and I'd said "yeah" three times. He is nearly powerless to stop this. He told me once (about someone else) this is a mental disorder of the mind. He doesn't think he is as bad as someone else, even though that doesn't matter. I've considered breaking it off with him because I literally can't stand the thought of having to bear it for the rest of my life, as we are talking about getting married.

Does anyone out there have an experience like this? I wouldn't mind hearing your story, but more so hearing if anyone knows if there are meds that can control this type of disorder. It seems to me what he needs is something to slow his brain down. His brain and thoughts run 100 miles per hour at all times. He needs help and I don't want to lose him.

But, I can't take it much longer. In truth there is no way I can describe what an epic problem this is for me.
Friends this is a very real issue, I'm sure not only to me. I've been in a relationship for about a year with a great guy who loves me, no doubt. We're not kids anymore and he assures me he's never loved anyone like he loves me. I didn't think I'd find love again and in him I have. There is this one huge problem, he talks incessantly. It seems if he is awake he thinks words have to be coming out of his mouth. Even though I love him very much, quite honestly, it drives me insane. If he has a story to tell, even a lengthy one, it is not just that. Every possible molecule of information he can possible think of is shared and even more than that if he can think of it. He says this trait runs in his family and he was born with it. He knows he has this problem but can't control it. He knows it grates on my nerves. To me it is sheer torture. It is like anything else constant, that is a distraction or irritation to anyone. It is worst while talking on the phone. I stopped him once and told him he'd been talking constant for 23 minutes and I'd said "yeah" three times. He is nearly powerless to stop this. He told me once (about someone else) this is a mental disorder of the mind. He doesn't think he is as bad as someone else, even though that doesn't matter. I've considered breaking it off with him because I literally can't stand the thought of having to bear it for the rest of my life, as we are talking about getting married.

Does anyone out there have an experience like this? I wouldn't mind hearing your story, but more so hearing if anyone knows if there are meds that can control this type of disorder. It seems to me what he needs is something to slow his brain down. His brain and thoughts run 100 miles per hour at all times. He needs help and I don't want to lose him.

But, I can't take it much longer. In truth there is no way I can describe what an epic problem this is for me.
Thanks for sharing. I too would suggest a trip to the Dr.
As LaFemme mentioned does coffee calm him down. During many different times of my life I could not sleep unless I drank coffee as it did calm me down and allow me to sleep.
Any yes I did talk a lot. I use to catch myself saying “to make a long story short” after a long period of talking. That was my trigger to bring my talking to a close. I also have difficulty keeping certain things like dates/time frames in order. Meditation has been helpful to me.
Good luck hope things work out for the best.
 

bravesoldier

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Yes it does affect him in a negative way now, he just doesn't see it. I worked with someone else like this years ago. All of my coworker's direct coworkers made fun of him behind his back and as someone earlier said, most hated to see him coming. It's sad but more so, frustrating. The subject with my guy came up suddenly today after I made this post. I didn't even initiate it, he did casually and I didn't expect it to escalate to the lengthy, somewhat heated conversation it did. It was time though. I could hear the defense and anger in his voice. He said if I felt the way I did he wouldn't be able to talk to me about anything.. By him saying that leaves me to believe he thinks he cannot say anything, much less tell a story or try to teach someone something without giving them a year's worth of information at a hundred miles an hour in a 20 minute spill. He just don't see it as others do. He even told me about him blowing up at a family member of his who he says is worse than him, telling them they were rude and insensitive. Again, he doesn't see what he does as a problem, but it definitely is. I sincerely believe medication is the only thing. Coffee may help, but this is 24/7. I think he needs a modern med. than will just slow him down a bit. He might be amazed at how much better he'd feel instead of being completely jacked up about everything all of the time.

Thanks all for your reply. It helps to talk about it.
 

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He is upset right now so let it cool off a bit. He will ponder on the matter perhaps, or perhaps not. See how it plays out over the next day. No doubt in my mind the discussion is not over.

Good luck!

PS.. maybe give him some peanut butter on crackers to eat when you have the next conversation... (JK).
 
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