I'm sorry, but I don't follow your logic at all and really don't understand anything you are trying to say. Was a bit all over the place. Not trying to be a jerk, just being honest. Feel free to clarify.I don't think this holds water.
People are expected to have fantastic sex lives ALL the time! Aren't you??! Why not??!! ...and so on. Part of this is the media, and I include TV and lifestyle magazines in that setting unrealistic ideas in people's heads. Same as health and fitness regimes or beauty magazines. Chances are you're not like that, and indulging in that will just make you feel fat and/or ugly... same with sex talk - you'll end up feeling like a born-again virgin.
Does everyone really have a totally satisfying sex life with smash hit after smash hit every time? Really?*
It is possible to grow and sustain a relationship with great sex. Trust me. But you both have to work at it.
Also, I'm not sure that most gay men lose their virginity in the woods or in a toilet. Again, the internet makes it much simpler and I daresay many young men shag for the first time in some friend's bedroom, as they always have. It needn't be some insalubrious fantasy.
Another addendum to all this is FOMO. This is true for both(all?) sexes and sexualities and this is a comparatively new phenomenon is a Gen X/Millennial affliction. Before this time/before the internet, people met in pubs and bars, got drunk, hoped to find someone who wasn't utterly repulsed by them and maybe get it on. Remember all that?
In today's competitive dating market, people tend towards the, "There could be something even better round the corner" and are less likely to commit early and (because of what I've sketched out above) have much higher standards/expectations.
People want more, expect more.
Not sure if they get more but then I don't have to do the dating thing, so.
* I mostly do, but I tend to skew most surveys and should not be taken as "normal".
I was merely pointing out one way of thinking (my own) around preferring sex with people I don't love and can objectify and preferring a somewhat sexless, but loving, long-term relationship (emotional monogamy some might call it) with someone whom I love deeply. All I was saying is that I feel folks like me are penalized by society's expectations that a proper relationship is one where the sexual intensity never attenuates. In reality, usually the opposite is the case and one shouldn't move on from someone they love because a romantic comedy tells them that their relationship is flawed.
