Infatuation or just Insanity?

S84

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I've been chatting to this guy for months an I think I've become infatuated with him, read/viewed all his posts on twitter etc... Think about him all day, never met him yet as he lives hundreds of miles away, but we have made plans for me to visit late summer. I know we are not in a relationship of any kind, but I think I have it in my head that it's more than just a friendship. Should I tell him, just let things run, or give ma self a good shake an see what happens naturally?
 
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Take it easy. He might be different in real life. But if he is exactly your type, then go for it. If it works, good, if it doesn't, then you have a nice story to share. =) Be positive.
 

henry777

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I've been on the receiving end of this scenario and it kinda turned me off as I felt the guy was just too clingy. I would say take things slow and see how things grow organically. :)
 

ericlane

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I say go with the flow, and let HIS feelings be revealed to you, if you are sure of yours then no need to tell him as you are sure. Allow yourself to be surprised with feelings that he develops for you
 

AlexDB9

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Years ago I was lonely and found myself going down a similar road. We had a "connection." We IM'd and talked on the phone for hours and hours. The guy flew down from Chicago for a meeting I'd been anticipating for a long time. In person, there was no physical attraction whatsoever, at least on my end. And I was stuck with him for 3 days. I sucked his dick because I figured it was the least I could do since he flew all that way. I hadn't quite learned my lesson--had to try it again. Young Carlos was cute, hung, Puerto Rican and nerdy with glasses. He had the Mario Lopez smile. Perfection, I thought. He lived in Boston. Again with the IM's and phone calls. At work, driving, wherever I was, it was Carlos. I couldn't get him out of my head. He was going to fly down and see me. Those lips...that smile...that gorgeous cock...I couldn't wait. Then a miracle happened; I had a moment of clarity. I SHUT THE COMPUTER OFF AND WENT OUTSIDE. Once I stopped spending hours a day on the computer in fantasyland and re-entered what I considered normal human interaction, I met my husband, as in walked up to him in person, no prior electronic introduction (i.e. the old fashioned way) and said "hi." :wink: We spent the next 12 years together.

Don't get emotionally invested. Interested, maybe something more will come of it. Electronics make it possible to get inside someone's head the way you can't in an initial meeting. It's also a wonderful tool to offer a smokescreen of bullshit. Maybe both. If it makes your head spin with infatuation as you go throughout your day, take a step back. Meeting in person can change everything. Do I think you can have a successful meeting through electronic media? Absolutely! I've been dating someone I met on one of the apps for over a year.

P.S. Months later Carlos called me. Turned out my fantasy boy lived with his boyfriend and had the whole time he whispered sweet nothings through the keyboard.
 
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S84

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Thanks Guys, I appreciate all your comments, I am taking them on board and been trying to find ways to get a grip on reality an distract myself (started decorating the house). I am trying not to get swept up in things and stopping my self from getting carried away and not pester him. Thank you all for your advice! ;-)
 

bigbadger

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I would agree with those who said have fun, but be careful at the same time. There is nothing wrong with chatting with someone online (even if it is a little dirty), fantasizing, and maybe even having a little crush. Like others said above, just be careful if you meet in person.

There is no guarantee this guy will be who claims to be or who he claims to look like. Sadly, there are many liars and fakes on the internet. There is a reason they say when something is too good to be true, it often is. Not to mention, much of the time fantasies are often hotter than reality is, so your infatuation may not live up to expectations.

Bottom line, have fun and enjoy yourself, but be careful (and safe i.e. use protection) if you ever do meet in person. If things work out then great, but do not be surprised or caught off guard if he does not live up to expectations.
 

invisibleman

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Years ago I was lonely and found myself going down a similar road. We had a "connection." We IM'd and talked on the phone for hours and hours. The guy flew down from Chicago for a meeting I'd been anticipating for a long time. In person, there was no physical attraction whatsoever, at least on my end. And I was stuck with him for 3 days. I sucked his dick because I figured it was the least I could do since he flew all that way. I hadn't quite learned my lesson--had to try it again. Young Carlos was cute, hung, Puerto Rican and nerdy with glasses. He had the Mario Lopez smile. Perfection, I thought. He lived in Boston. Again with the IM's and phone calls. At work, driving, wherever I was, it was Carlos. I couldn't get him out of my head. He was going to fly down and see me. Those lips...that smile...that gorgeous cock...I couldn't wait. Then a miracle happened; I had a moment of clarity. I SHUT THE COMPUTER OFF AND WENT OUTSIDE. Once I stopped spending hours a day on the computer in fantasyland and re-entered what I considered normal human interaction, I met my husband, as in walked up to him in person, no prior electronic introduction (i.e. the old fashioned way) and said "hi." :wink: We spent the next 12 years together.

Don't get emotionally invested. Interested, maybe something more will come of it. Electronics make it possible to get inside someone's head the way you can't in an initial meeting. It's also a wonderful tool to offer a smokescreen of bullshit. Maybe both. If it makes your head spin with infatuation as you go throughout your day, take a step back. Meeting in person can change everything. Do I think you can have a successful meeting through electronic media? Absolutely! I've been dating someone I met on one of the apps for over a year.

P.S. Months later Carlos called me. Turned out my fantasy boy lived with his boyfriend and had the whole time he whispered sweet nothings through the keyboard.


A-MEN!!! There is nothing like old-fashioned human interaction. Believe it or not...there was a time when there weren't computers or broadband internet. People met each other. Got to know each other. Didn't worry about grindr...Craigslist...ashleymadison...gay.com. People went out and dated each other.
 

S84

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Thanks guys! A have calmed ma behaviour down and think he has noticed I'm not as obsessed as we are communicating less instead of me sending loads of messages until I hear from him, I just wait until I hear from him before messaging now! just hope it dose not fizzle out to nothing now, as I really do care for him.