Initially Tense?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by robert617, Jul 10, 2007.

  1. robert617

    robert617 Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Messages:
    93
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    118
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    While we have been friends for a while, what I guess you younger people refer to as "friends with benefits", the woman I've been having sex with and I were discussing a few points. The idea of this is to keep communications open for feedback that might lead to fantasy fulfillment, new adventurous opportunities or just plain old improvement.
    One point that she brought up recently was that, while it had been useful in the past, she no longer wanted me to coax her to "relax". Her claim is that she knows sex with me usually takes a fair effort on her part, as she prefers to be in control- ie ontop- and that no matter what I say, she says she knows she will always tense up. This being the case, she would rather I not say anything when we start so she can concentrate on what she is physically feeling and that any coaxing I do be more along the lines of massaging her.
    What I would like to know from the female readers is whether this intial "tension/anticipation" is always present with every partner before penetration and if so, does it vary from partner to partner. Also, would you find verbal reassurances and coaxing to relax annoying after a certain familiarity?
     
  2. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Personally, I don't get tension/anticipation before sex ALL the time... if it's the first or second time with a guy, I will... but after that, I'm comfortable for the most part and don't get nervous anymore.
     
  3. Mr. Snakey

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Messages:
    24,702
    Likes Received:
    25
    Sex is like riding a bicycle just pray you dont get a flat tire...............:cool:
     
  4. psidom

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2006
    Messages:
    1,861
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    2
    i think if you are insistently assuring her to relax that could be a turn off.
    it would be like an insult on a spiritual level...she can ride you.

    but if you maybe try to sooth her tension through touch and sound
    like the lines of massage as you said.

    if you ever listen to the sounds of her...figure what your sounds are that are a turn on for her...

    my girlfriend always said my breathing makes her cum.
    i exhale and exhale and exhale to keep from ejaculating.
    that turns her on in a major way....
    why cuz' she knows i am ALMOST loosing control
    because she makes me feel that good.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted