Insecurity over Gf's past (large encounters)

[8x6w]

Been reading this site for a while, finally have a good reason to post I think. (kinda long, sorry) Been with my gf for over a year now and recently had one of those "questions you've wanted to ask but didn't" conversations. Well, early on in our relationship it came up that one of her ex's was about 9", and she had jerked off a black guy that was "definitely bigger", but was too afraid to "test it out" in her words. I'm not used to not being near the top of the list I guess in terms of size (I have not been with that many women though), so this initially left me feeling slightly inadequate. Well, I asked her how many guys she's been with (ranging from a handjob to sex) that are bigger. She thought about it for a minute and said 3. So, that must include the black guy, the ex, and another guy.

I know this shouldn't matter to me, as she tells me she loves my size and that any bigger would mean less sex (it's true, I already make her sore quickly even if she's very wet, she's a fairly petite girl), but for some reason it still does. I don't think she really understands the odds against being with that many well-endowed men lol. And, for some reason, it's ingrained in me that bigger is better. It's kinda like, even if it meant less sex, it would still be "impressive". Sounds dumb I know. Now, a really strange thing about this, is sometimes I find myself fantasizing about her having sex with a really big dick. So, I have these conflicting emotions, as she is telling me this I felt both disappointment/insecurity as well as being slightly turned on. Wtf? For reference, I'm 8x6, so I know I shouldn't worry about this.

Any advice? Anyone that is already "big" have a gf that's been with several other large guys?

 

[huckjam]

8x6 is way, WAY above average.

You got a large one aswell.

 

[lorne]

get over it, or just watch some big dick porn with her. If you fixate on it to much either you'll ruin the relationship, or make it some sort of necessity to your getting off. Like she said bigger isn't going to help you only make sex less likely and if she needed bigger she'd be cheating on you or not seeing you.

 

[lerotic]

I never understand why hug guys still get penis insecurity.. There will ALWAYS he someone bigger than you, but live with the fact that you're "bigger than most, smaller than some"

 

[BigDikkedGuy]

tell her to fuckin get ver it

 

[babydickk]

and people wonder why Im insecure about my 4.75 x 4.5 lol...

 

[8x6w]

get over it, or just watch some big dick porn with her. If you fixate on it to much either you'll ruin the relationship, or make it some sort of necessity to your getting off. Like she said bigger isn't going to help you only make sex less likely and if she needed bigger she'd be cheating on you or not seeing you.

Yea, this is what I'm mainly worried about.

A few times in the past year I've fantasized about a big one fucking her during sex to help get off, and I know that needs to stop. I was wondering if anyone had any techniques/suggestions to stop fixating on it and be more secure with myself. It's really ironic, normally I'm very secure with my size and honestly think it helps me get women because I act more confident, but knowing my gf has had bigger affects my ego a bit, and I can't have that happen.

Thanks for the replies so far.

 

[8x6w]

and people wonder why Im insecure about my 4.75 x 4.5 lol...

Ya know, I think those that are closer to average can be more secure about their size than those on the larger end. My theory is that guys that are average can't really have any realistic desire to be the "largest their partner has had", and thus accept this fact more quickly/readily. I know that two of my friends who are average definitely have the attitude of "fuck it, I'll use what I got to the best of my abilities". Maybe that's just a front, but they seem genuine.

 

[fallon2]

She's with you because SHE wants to be with you. Get over it and soon. Otherwise it has and will continue to drive you crazy.

 

[lokiau]

LOL U seem confuzzeled. She must feel Lucky to get that many big dicks in one life time. I think alot of guy fantasise about bigger dicks fucking their girl no matter how big they are.

The Answer is that you can never garuantee that you are the biggest that she has or will ever have but you can aleast try to be the best

 

[TheRob]

most women do not seem to care
besides she said much bigger then you would scare her
I mean 9 is only a little bigger you know an inch either way is not a big deal unless it's the extreamly small side which youare not on

 

[cacco777]

Dude, get over it!!!!!

I don't think there is a magical formula here, you just have to learn to not think about it.

You say it yourself that you are too large for her and yet you are still insecure. I was with a petite girl for a long time and I know sex with a small lady can be more difficult. I'm smaller than you, but I know for a fact I was too big for my ex.

 

[TomSchmo]

Ok yeah I had almost this same problem with my ex. So I understand what you mean and everything, and I actually had a really hard time with this problem ,especially after she moved and we broke up. Although I never really found a cure to that feeling, although now its not as bad since im not with her anymore, but i know man, it is pretty tough. Sorry i cant ffer you advice, but at least kknow that youre not the only one out there who feels this way. and goodluck to you.

 

[TomSchmo]

Dude, get over it!!!!!

That line has never helped anyone to get over something...

 

[Ericsson1228d]

Dude you are so obsessed about it.

This relationship is doomed unless you grow the f*ck up.

In relationships I have been in, penis size has never been a central theme.

Good, loving sex and a stable emotionally satisfying relationship - this is what I would take any day over some nitwit comparing my cock to others.


Let us know when you break up so we can read her blog about breaking up with her "tiny boyfriend with only an 8" penis."

lol - amazing how a guy with a big dick can have zero self confidence and appear, at least by this post, to be a total loser.

 

[Ericsson1228d]

I know that two of my friends who are average definitely have the attitude of "fuck it, I'll use what I got to the best of my abilities". Maybe that's just a front, but they seem genuine.

If you think rationally about it, this is the only healthy attitude to have. I wouldn't apologize or feel bad about my cock size any more than I would feel bad for being born white or having brown eyes. It's the way I was made - nothing I can do about it. A big dick doesn't guarantee that a guy isn't an asshole. A big (or small) dick doesn't mean he can support a family. A big (or small) dick doesn't mean he is a good father. A big (or small) dick doesn't mean you are successful in business, have a loving family, and great friends, and a wholesome life. All it means is that your penis is different (bigger or smaller) than some other people's.

I think if you asked most married couples what the secret to a long, happy marriage was, penis size would not even appear on the list. Sure, satisfied lovers and a good sex life, but for a man and woman who love each other, the size of the man's cock becomes irrelevant pretty quickly, if it ever even matters at all.

 

[cripple cock]

Telling people to grow the fuck up, get over it and just posting in complete bafflement (i.e. "I'll never understand how a guy with a big dick can still be insecure.") is the opposite of helpful. I'm sure I speak for all the people on this site who aren't just looking for jerk-off fodder when I say help us all out and pipe the fuck down.

As for the problem at hand, I can say it will put a kink in your relationship. I totally understand, having gone through not identical but similar circumstances.

Here's some advice: Try to focus away from yourself and develop an obsession that actually involves her. This thing we do where we fixate entirely on ourselves and our woman's past lovers leaves the woman feeling ignored in favor of our own insecurity. Focus on her voice, her ass, her hair, whatever gets you going and get back to fucking her the way you and she both want you to.

 

[cacco777]

I said "get over it" to imply that he needs to realise he is being unreasonable. There is nothing wrong with that.

I have had insecurities in the past, and I suffered so I know what an insecurity is. I'm not talking about penis size but everyday stuff like failing career, failing relationship, etc. I've been in the receiving end of it...

There is no magical formula to solve emotional problems, each solution starts with the realisation that you have a problem and that the problem needs solving. Now, this guy admits he has an emotional problem, which is a positive step but the only solution is to get over it.

I'll go as far as saying that he doesn't actually have a problem, and it's all in his head. Trust me, I've been with a petite lady and larger cock is the last thing they need. So, he needs to somehow find a distraction from his insecurity and move on. Just like he admits, a larger cock in this case will not lead to a better sex life... So why the insecurity?

 

[DonJuanDeShenzhen]

There is always somebody bigger than you ...

And even if you are the biggest. You are never sure there isn't somebody else on this planet who is bigger ...

 

[wallyj84]

Ya know, I think those that are closer to average can be more secure about their size than those on the larger end. My theory is that guys that are average can't really have any realistic desire to be the "largest their partner has had", and thus accept this fact more quickly/readily. I know that two of my friends who are average definitely have the attitude of "fuck it, I'll use what I got to the best of my abilities". Maybe that's just a front, but they seem genuine.

If that was true, do you really think that we would have all these penis enlargement scams?