insecurity where u wouldn't expect it

[bigdude]

Seeing as how this is a community of (mostly) hung men, I think it's easy for a lot of people to overlook people's insecurities. "You have a large cock, what more could you want?" That's not always the case and I think it's important for people to discuss their insecurities (OTHER than your cock, god knows we get enough of that on this site).

So, since I'm raising the topic, I'll go first...

I've dealt with insecurities all my life. As I entered adolescence, I gained weight, "baby fat" if you will, before I had my growth spurt. I became very self conscious of my weight and developed anorexia. I rarely ate anything at all and examined the fat content of everything I did eat. At the same time, I dealt with a bit of a drug habit. I managed to kick both habits almost simultaneously and pulled almost a complete 180 degree turn, headed in the right direction. I discovered I could get the same high and feeling of control through exercise and I began lifting weights. My diet changed completely and I began eating much more as opposed to barely anything. There was something empowering about feeling stronger and I was hooked on it.

To this day, I still lift weights 3x a week and people admire my dedication. I also get a lot of compliments and questions regarding my strength because people are intrigued. On top of a large cock and big muscles, I'm the "epitome of masculinity and have nothing to be insecure about", right? Wrong

I believe that through my drastic lifestyle changes in eating and kicking drugs, I developed what my doctor describes as "a slight form of gynecomastia", aka development of male breast tissue. This has made me extremely insecure about my chest. I've only discussed this with one close friend and my mom...hell, I'm only sharing this now because I remain anonymous to everybody here. I once struggled with addiction, overcame it, and looked at my past with no regrets because I figured I've learned from them. This condition, however, makes me very regretful of my lifestyle choices when I was younger as I'm sure that had an impact.

For somebody who strives to be healthy and works so hard on their body, I often feel like my attempts are in vain. The only cure for gynecomastia is surgery, which insurance does not cover. I feel so strongly about this that I've decided to earn the $2,000 this summer while I'm home from school working at my summer job to afford the surgery. I wouldn't go about this procedure if I didn't believe it would have a direct correlation to my level of confidence, and I can't wait till I can take my shirt off around people and feel comfortable and proud doing things I used to love: going to the beach, swimming, showing off the physique I've worked so hard for, etc.

I'll keep you all updated on my decision a few months from now and the results that will follow. I think I'll be a changed man

In the meantime, let's start a real support group. Everybody who wishes to participate- share one (or more) insecurities you have (preferably not penis related only because there's a billion threads on that already) but if you wish to, go right ahead

Oh and thanks for hearing me out on my story

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Well - I wish you all the best. I hope it works out for you with the surgery, or without, if you change your mind.
I'm not a terribly insecure person but the one thing I am insecure about I'm not ready to share. I tried to type it out there and couldn't (well I typed it then deleted it). You're a stronger person than me. I'm replying cos I think telling strangers these things, allbeit anonymously, takes courage - and that should be applauded. Good luck.

 

[Cardinal]

One of my insecurities is the reason I joined this group...I'm only 5'5" tall so I'm always the smallest dude in the room. I thought I'd have a growth spurt at some point but it doesn't seem to be happening. I don't have a napoleon complex or try to to over-compensate in other ways - it's just something I'm always aware of and I'd like to not care about it. I sometimes wish my body was bigger to carry my cock a little better - my girlfriend calls my dick my third leg which I think is really funny but just goes to show that my height and cock size are a little awkward. Don't know many girls or guys really into small men...

Thanks for starting this thread.. it sounds like surgery will make you feel so much better and after over-coming so many things you deserve to feel great about who you are.

 

[LemacST]

Well, before I started really becoming sexually active, I was super insecure of being uncut--I thought I was the only one. I later learned that girls didn't think I was cut because when I get erect my foreskin would roll all the way back, girls didn't have a clue, they probably expected an erect intact penis to still have foreskin covering the head when it's hard (which does happen in some guys anyways I think). Now one insecury I started battling but have basically gotten over with is my size--some girl told my friends I was small in hopes of ruining my reputation and being really uninformed on the subject I believed her, which really messed with my head. I have since learned I am a bit above average and nothing disappointing to any girl (except for size queens of course). I've had a couple of stupid insecurities here and there, but that's about it.

 

[LemacST]

One of my insecurities is the reason I joined this group...I'm only 5'5" tall so I'm always the smallest dude in the room. I thought I'd have a growth spurt at some point but it doesn't seem to be happening. I don't have a napoleon complex or try to to over-compensate in other ways - it's just something I'm always aware of and I'd like to not care about it. I sometimes wish my body was bigger to carry my cock a little better - my girlfriend calls my dick my third leg which I think is really funny but just goes to show that my height and cock size are a little awkward. Don't know many girls or guys really into small men...

Thanks for starting this thread.. it sounds like surgery will make you feel so much better and after over-coming so many things you deserve to feel great about who you are.

I have a friend that's like the same height as you and he's well endowed from what I heard. I think that's kinda cool, you should be proud of it. I'm 6'1 but an inch shorter than you in that department, we can't all fully cater to women's supposed standards. You will find a girl that likes you exactly the way you are.

The thing is though is that we all want to be able to please as many women as possible before we meet that special lady, lol. That's where these insecurities come from I think.

 

[davidjh7]

First, congrats on understanding yourself, and knowing what it is you want, and how to get there. THis is one case of minor cosmetic surgery I really approve---you have developed confidence, and security in yourself, and it sounds like the main reason you want the surgery, is to put a reminder of a negative period in your past behind you. To me, this is a mentally healthy desire. I wish you all the best! As formy biggest insecurity? I would say it is my face---mainly because when I was young, I felt I had a reasonably handsome face. Not GOd's gift, or the best around, but I thought I was handsome. I didn't say this to others, but my peers over the course of a long period of time informed me in no uncertain terms that I was NOT good looking, that I was, at best, plain. Thus, I hate having my picture taken, REALLY hate looking at that picture, and conciously and subconciously avoid looking in mirrors whenever possible. It is a matter of I don't think about it as long as I don't see my face, but when I do, it is a very negative moment for me.

 

[MagicTongue]

One of my insecurities is the reason I joined this group...I'm only 5'5" tall so I'm always the smallest dude in the room. I thought I'd have a growth spurt at some point but it doesn't seem to be happening. I don't have a napoleon complex or try to to over-compensate in other ways - it's just something I'm always aware of and I'd like to not care about it. I sometimes wish my body was bigger to carry my cock a little better - my girlfriend calls my dick my third leg which I think is really funny but just goes to show that my height and cock size are a little awkward. Don't know many girls or guys really into small men...

Thanks for starting this thread.. it sounds like surgery will make you feel so much better and after over-coming so many things you deserve to feel great about who you are.

5'5"? OMG, you'd probably be perfect for me. I"m about 5'2" with shoes on... Most of the guys I know are way too tall...

 

[choney]

I have two big insecurities. Being fair skinned and back hair. I have ALWAYS admired tan smooth skin and I have no idea where that originated. I shave all them time and most guys I have been with had no idea I had to maintain my back so much. There are guys I was in relationships with who I told and it was really emotional for me. I consider it something someone I am with must overlook and love me in spite of. I have looked into laser hair removal and such but I guess having blondish body hair means the results will be less effective. If anyone with blond hair has had it done let me know.

 

[davidjh7]

If this is an issue that truly is affecting your daily self esteem, have you considered electrolosys? It is true that laserhair removal is most effective with darker skin according to the information I have read, but electrolosys applies to everybody. You may have to have several treatments, and different people respond differently, but it may be a consideration for you. I'm not saying you SHOULD, only that if it is a big issue in your life, it is an alternative to consider. Heck, if the effect is only temporary for you, they DO make home semi-pro systems, so you can avoid the recurring costs as well. You and your lover can make it into a form of foreplay.:biggrin1:

 

[biguy2738]

I've already shared on my insecurity...which has been penis size for as long as I can remember. I'm not going to get into it again cos I think everyone is still recovering from that lengthy discourse!

I found that sharing it with everyone was very therapeutic...like a weight lifted off my shoulders. And the support and responses via pm touched me very deeply.

From one insecure person to another...I applaud all of you for the great risk you have taken, by sharing something so deep, so personal and most of the time, so shameful to yourself, with the rest of us!

 

[loser_emo_kid]

I have chronic girl shyness. I can't talk to them, I can't even look at the hot ones without doing something idiotic. Well that's not true. I can talk to girls about anything but relationships, and I don't even bother with really attractive girls because I know I can't do it.

But, I'm going to undertake a project. I plan to get rejected by 100 attractive women in the next month or so, with signatures to prove it.

 

[loser_emo_kid]

P.S. I know there's no real reason for me to be insecure and I'm just a huge pussy but I figured it would open up the floor for someone else to talk

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Bigdude how old are you? Are you sure you haven't traded one insecurity for another? You have slight gynecomastia. Most young men do. Mine went away without surgery. $2000 could buy you enough outdoor gear to last twenty years.

To take your mind off this unhealthy obsession, trade it in for another healthy one. Like backpacking, canyoneering, rock climbing or something.

 

[Cardinal]

5'5"? OMG, you'd probably be perfect for me. I"m about 5'2" with shoes on... Most of the guys I know are way too tall...

:smile: haha - most women I know (and date) are taller than me...it's been so long since I've dated someone in my height range, like, the 9th grade of something. thanks for making me smile..

 

[Cardinal]

I have a friend that's like the same height as you and he's well endowed from what I heard. I think that's kinda cool, you should be proud of it. I'm 6'1 but an inch shorter than you in that department, we can't all fully cater to women's supposed standards. You will find a girl that likes you exactly the way you are.

The thing is though is that we all want to be able to please as many women as possible before we meet that special lady, lol. That's where these insecurities come from I think.

Yah, I think that's true - I always hear women say "he's really tall" as a critical attribute, like it goes with handsome or something and I sort of psyche myself out a bit...nice to have a vote of confidence from a tall guy, thanks man for the insight.

 

[LemacST]

Yah, I think that's true - I always hear women say "he's really tall" as a critical attribute, like it goes with handsome or something and I sort of psyche myself out a bit...nice to have a vote of confidence from a tall guy, thanks man for the insight.

Yeah I know what you're saying dude, but I garantee you behind closed doors girls are giggling about how well endowed you are. Girls see that as something to brag about jsut like height, handsomeness, etc. even if the size hurts them or they're not particularly into sex. Because of this I wish I were packing a bit more, I would give an inch away of my height to add on my dick lol, consider yourself lucky.

 

[missnatallia]

I have chronic girl shyness. I can't talk to them, I can't even look at the hot ones without doing something idiotic. Well that's not true. I can talk to girls about anything but relationships, and I don't even bother with really attractive girls because I know I can't do it.

But, I'm going to undertake a project. I plan to get rejected by 100 attractive women in the next month or so, with signatures to prove it.

How do you know they would all reject you? Not all attractive girls are evil, I swear. Besides, if you can talk to girls about anything, you are set. Really. Don't even think about the whole relationship thing. Just talk to hot girls like they are anyone else. Guys always hit on me, so the rare one who doesn't seem all that fazed by me or talks to me like a friend always gets my attention. Don't worry, you are cute; it will work out. :wink:

 

[bigdude]

Bigdude how old are you? Are you sure you haven't traded one insecurity for another? You have slight gynecomastia. Most young men do. Mine went away without surgery. $2000 could buy you enough outdoor gear to last twenty years.

To take your mind off this unhealthy obsession, trade it in for another healthy one. Like backpacking, canyoneering, rock climbing or something.

good points

Well, from the research I've done, I think it should be gone by now if it was just temporary because I'd rather wait it out then spend 2000 bucks, so now I just see this as something inevitable that I need to do...as mentioned, it's a very minor surgery, but it is pretty costly (for a college student at that). I think my parents might pay half though. I'm 20 BTW

And the second point you brought up is something I've thought about a LOT. I'm very critical of myself so I want to be sure that this is something I find necessary before doing it. I've thought about it like, "man, you're gonna get this done...and then want to change something else, you're never going to be satisfied." But I want to do this...as early as possible too...because it creates such a mental burden for me. I want to be able to embrace my masculinity and feel confident as soon as possible. I feel confident with the rest of my body and do find myself attractive, but this one thing prevents me from feeling comfortable with my shirt off. The last bunch of partners I've had sex with, I didn't take my shirt off because of it.

So the way I see it, it's a bit costly, but it's a minor surgery...one that'll make all the difference for me too. The doctor said that he feels it's "a crime that insurance doesn't cover for this procedure" and that "it's mentally overwhelming for many young men as this condition is very common." We all prioritize what we spend our money on, and considering I used to blow my cash on dope...


Thanks to everyone for sharing their insecurities too.

I'm also real shy sometimes around girls that I'm attracted too, but as the girl above me already said, approach them like anyone else. Don't try to be the "asshole" but for christ sake, don't shower them with attention. Get to know them on a friendship level, tease them, play with their heads a bit, and this naturally starts the flirtation process. It's a game- at least that's how it starts- so just have fun with it:tongue:

 

[bigdude]

First, congrats on understanding yourself, and knowing what it is you want, and how to get there. THis is one case of minor cosmetic surgery I really approve---you have developed confidence, and security in yourself, and it sounds like the main reason you want the surgery, is to put a reminder of a negative period in your past behind you. To me, this is a mentally healthy desire. I wish you all the best! As formy biggest insecurity? I would say it is my face---mainly because when I was young, I felt I had a reasonably handsome face. Not GOd's gift, or the best around, but I thought I was handsome. I didn't say this to others, but my peers over the course of a long period of time informed me in no uncertain terms that I was NOT good looking, that I was, at best, plain. Thus, I hate having my picture taken, REALLY hate looking at that picture, and conciously and subconciously avoid looking in mirrors whenever possible. It is a matter of I don't think about it as long as I don't see my face, but when I do, it is a very negative moment for me.

trust me, ur face isn't ugly...and I'm a pretty blunt person, I'd tell u straight up if u were ugly lol. If I were gay i'd be all over that

but ya, for people to just tell you you're ugly, or not attractive, or whatever...why would they do that? Some people have weird ways of hiding their own insecurity/jealousy/envy

 

[ganja4me]

One of the bigger insecurities I have had started early in middle school. That's when I started smokin weed. Once kids started finding out they were joking with me saying thats why you're so weird. It only bothered me a little bit. Then a couple years later all these people were saying I was a burnout and I'm stupid from smoking so much weed. Like some people turned on me they thought it was funny at first and then they were saying I'm messed up in the head. A couple g/f's I have had told me that people were telling them they shouldn't go out with me because I'm a burnout. A little later in my life I did try some other drugs. Once people found out about that a lot of them were saying I'm a drug addict behind my back. I had teachers who didn't like me just because they heard I did these things. I even had friends in my neighborhood whose parents wouldn't let me over their house. And their parents and my teachers didn't even really know me. And I never even tried a serious drug like crack or heroine or somthing. But people probly heard about me doing something and then added stuff to it. I probably have people thinking I'm addicted to smack, crack, and meth or somthing. It was all pretty fucked up and the only people who knew how I really was were my actual friends.