Insecurity

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by blueberryyum, Jul 1, 2007.

  1. blueberryyum

    blueberryyum New Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    I'm afraid this may sound petty or tame compared to some of the things discussed here recently, but I need advice. I've been dating the same girl for eight years. She's my highschool sweetheart. I love her to death. We stayed together all through college, despite being in different states. A year ago we moved in together in NYC. It's been a year of bliss, however, in that period of time her mother cheated on her father. They did not separate or divorce, but it rocked her because she thought they had the best marriage ever. Ever since then, I feel a little glimmer has left my gf and changed her views a bit on love, although she's been great. Three months ago, she told me she would like a break to date other men and be single. I was crushed. I wanted to ask her this summer to marry her. We fought on for three months and last night, we had a huge fight. I want her to stay, but it's her life. I feel what we have is what single people want. I don't know why she has to be single at this point, to realize that. She is also sexually curious, as well. I'm the only one she's been with and she's even curious what other penises look and feel like. I'm 8" by 5 3/4" and have never gotten any complaints, but I am here because I am bit obsessed and I this may sound weird, but I feel I'd be crushed if she had sex with a bigger man, then came back to me and for the rest out time, I would feel if I had fought harder, she wouldn't have left and not thought of me as her biggest and I would have remained that way. I feel with her luck, she will score some monster. What are the odds? I have no aspirations to date. I just feel insecure and heartbroken...any advice?
     
  2. confusedman

    confusedman New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    261
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London,Uk
    man....i will make your day..
    the percentage of having sex with a penis of bigger volume than yours is at about 5%.the percentage of having sex with a significant bigger penis than yours is less than 0.1%.so i have to say don't worry at all!!

    secondly
    2)it would be nice if you wanted to bacome a little bigger.i know the safest and the more effective way...

    imagine that you grow in 6 months up to 9"*6"+ and she comes back after having sex with a small or average guy and she meets the monster again!!
    well what a story and ego boost!!

    well!it's your turn now!if you feel insecure there are two ways to bit this!psychically and mentally!
    i believe that psychically is more effective as mentally can come back after some incidents!
     
  3. dongalong

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    5,311
    Likes Received:
    1,773
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris (FR)
    I see 2 solutions:

    Overcome your ego, stop thinking about what she might do and have some fun and try seeing other women, you might meet one who will make you forget your GF (e.g. because she is a better lover)
    Also not being so interested in your GF might make you appear to be more of a challenge which might make her want to win you back. If she doesn't then you'll have to accept that she is no longer interested in you and move on.

    According to most women on this site, your cock is the ideal size. If you really are insecure about your size, go to the making it bigger section and learn how to make it bigger, but remember, there will always be some guy out there who is even bigger.
     
  4. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    I think it's sad because you love her very much. She had her vision of marriage dashed because of her mother being unfaithful. I don't know what to tell you but I wish you the best.
     
  5. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Yeah, she feels like she is missing out. She has been with you since high school. (My ex was the exact same way. He even dated a few guys bigger than I penis-wise while being with me.) Anyway, I know that it is hard to do but you may have to let her go. It is better than getting married to her and her cheating on you. Let her do what she wants to do. If she wants a monster she will get what she wants. It is better to be disappointed and get her over now. You can move on too. I will tell you this: DON'T EVER BE HER FRIEND EXPECTING THAT SHE WILL COME BACK. YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.

    Yeah, It is understandable that you don't wanna date anymore. I still don't wanna be disappointed in people anymore either like I was with my ex...:confused:

    Fighting is a REAL BIG sign that it is over anyhow. You don't want to marry someone who you fight all the time with. I hope that you find someone that you can be happy with. Man, I hope that I find a guy to be happy with also. But, I am not looking for it because I don't really feel love has much value. Especially when you spend the amount of time you do spend with someone only to get shut down. That is a disappointment.
     
  6. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2007
    Messages:
    3,337
    Likes Received:
    8
    I've never thought I'd be crushed but last night I was talking to my ex and she said I was her biggest then said 'no, wait' and this other guy was bigger. She said he was "huge" and circumcised...I just thought 'cool'. She wants to fuck me and she isn't with this bigger guy so I have no problem with it.

    If I were you I would take it as a huge compliment and testament to her love for you IF IF IF she did come back to you. Odds are she won't score a monster. That ex I talked about above is quite 'generous' with her body. And another ex who has been with even more men, I'm her biggest. And the guy she's with now is average.

    So my advice is if she does come back to you, you should stay with her because that would mean she loves you very much. And she most likely won't find anyone bigger than you. Which means shit anyway. What would you rather have - a big cock and a girl who just wants you for that or a girl who truly adores you and would do anything for you and who can make you calm with just her touch?

    Anyway I'm gonna go eat some pizza now. Good luck!

    PS not many relationships like yours (HS romance) last forever so I wouldn't count on it but if the love is there, "love will see you through." :smile:

    Really don't worry about her having bigger.
     
  7. LemacST

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,096
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ca
    Alright, now imagine how the rest of the male population feels about this.

    YOU are "that guy" to 90% of men. Literally.
    This proves that EVERY SINGLE MAN IN THE UNIVERSE has penis envy. It's just the way it is. I have it. You have it. We all have it. LPSG wouldn't exist if no one had it.

    I hope this comforts you as much as it comforts me. It shows every guy is vulnerable to this great, seemingly instinctual fear. No one escapes it therefore we're all in it together. It's just something you out of your control that you have to get over. Eitherway, even when it comes to this you're at the top of the food chain so the chances of her finding a guy that's bigger than you are slim to none. Even though I'm above the 50th percentile for size, I'm still average by anyone's standards (6 1/2 x 5 1/4) so I really do have to face the fear of having this become a reality much more than you do. I just learned to accept myself as I am, understand that guys of all sizes deal with this issue. I really just think it's a primative fear/mean of protection and you shouldn't be hard on yourself about it. I know all us guys hate hearing this, but I learned it's ultimately true--size doesn't matter if you have other things going on for you, not just sexually but as a whole person. In and of itself, it's true that most girls would prefer a large dick over a small one, but outside of this fraction that makes you who you are are things that would completely outweigh the important of size (except maybe for size queens, but they're minorities anyway). Sorry to go off on a tangent there, but I just wanted to let you know because I think you're putting too much pressure on your size. I used to. Look at my past posts. Please, take it from a guy who is just average in that department, stop worrying about this. Honestly.

    I have a question though--does she know you're very hung? If she doesn't, she's in for quite a surprise.
     
  8. LemacST

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,096
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ca
    It's really the truth that EVERY guy can be insecure about his size.

    Small to average guys fear that they will be rejected for not measuring up. No surprise there. These guys will ask "am I big enough", "am I average", "what is too small", etc.


    Big guys KNOW they're big but like 9/10 times there's still a guy who can be even bigger. Big guys ask "am I the biggest you've had?" "is my size the best?", "am I too big for you?", etc.

    Same issue, same concern, same doubt.

    No guy is happy, I've learned. Not even the ones with sizes that I feel I'd be 100% fully content with having if I woke up with it one day (like yours, even a bit smaller than yours would be great). I know there are guys out there with 4 1/2" dicks who say they'd feel thuroughly content if they woke up and had a 6 1/2" dick like mine, yet I went through a phase in my life where I felt I didn't measure up at all.

    The grass is greener on the other fucking side. Just accept yourself how you are (not just size, but as a whole person) and life will be much easier.
     
  9. cidian

    cidian New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    moon
    i have gone through the esact same situation before. You will eventually get over her. The girl i was with the next guy she got with was about 4 inches so you probally should not worry about it. I am simmular in size to you 8 by 5 and 3/4 inches. Honestly there is alot of good women out there don't get caught up with a girl like that she is not worth it.
     
  10. B_josiah852

    B_josiah852 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    2,025
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In the Rolling Hills
    Who said that being with a man with a bigger cock is gonna be more satisfying? And yes, the chance of her being with a bigger cocked guy than you is rare. We men worry about a woman moving on with a bigger cocked guy when we should worry about her finding a man she can be happier with. Actually we shouldn't worry about either of those two things. What you should worry about is how you should move on and find happiness again. I have loved and lost (very painfully lost). And in my experience I have found it is best to move on as quickly as possible because pain can destroy a person's life if he or she lets it. Let your ex gf see that other woman are enjoying not only that big meat of yours but also enjoying being with you. Enjoying being with you is much more important than being with a man with a bigger cock than most guys. Being bigger is just a bonus in life some of us enjoy. I've been through all the pain you are feeling and hope you move on quickly and find happiness again.
     
  11. viking1

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2006
    Messages:
    4,706
    Likes Received:
    5
    She just needs to be sure about things before she makes it final. Nothing at all for you to worry about. She may not feel the same towards you as you do torwards her. If she's not the right one, the one who is will come along later.
    If she doesn't come back it is highly unlikely that penis size is the reason.
    Also, if you were of average size the chances of finding someone larger would probably be 50/50. If you were smaller than average it may be 80% or more. Average and smaller guys have sex and get married everyday.
    You got nothing to worry about in that respect.
     
  12. Whopper-lee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2006
    Messages:
    1,602
    Albums:
    9
    Likes Received:
    79
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA - Southern boy
    Let what will be ....be.
    Life is too short to be stuck in a rut.
    Be Safe, Be Careful, & Enjoy your life with or without her.
     
  13. zaza

    zaza New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2006
    Messages:
    444
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    I think you are two people that have possibly come to the end of the road together. Its difficult when there is no big bust up, you want to stay together but you also want and need to move on. Sometimes you need some time with mr wrong to know you are with mr right, she just doesn`t have that.

    Why have you turned it into a penis size issue? She isn`t going because she wants to experience bigger, smaller, or whatever. She is going because she wants to move on. You are concerned that she might experience bigger, but presumably it doesn`t bother you that she might try smaller and like it more? So she might find a guy with amazing abilities with oral sex, more staying power, or whatever. Are you really saying that as long as he is smaller than you it doesn`t matter? What you should really be concerned about is that she might meet a more caring considerate lover.

    Then again none of this matters really, if you do get back together in the future it will be because you are right for each other and she knows this based on past experience. She will come back because you are you, not because of your big willy.
     
  14. PussyWellington

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2006
    Messages:
    548
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Asia/Australia
    If it's real, it will work out. Isn't it better that you get to address these issues now, before you get married. Let her go and have some fun, get drunk and sleep around. If you're as loving, kind and hung as you say you are - she'll be back, I'm sure.

    When the last time you let her know you really desired her? Maybe she needs a good hard fuck. Maybe it's a case of 'All gear and no idea'. Is this really a penis issue do you think OP?
     
  15. blueberryyum

    blueberryyum New Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    Please keep it coming. I cannot tell you how much these posts mean to me. You guys and gals rock. She left me last night, I let her go...I'm dealing with this insecurity alone, but everytime I log on, I feel better hearing your words. Thanks so much...
     
  16. D_Andy_Whorewall

    D_Andy_Whorewall Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2006
    Messages:
    440
    Likes Received:
    9
    In your mind, is she on a "cock conquest" ? Actively seeking out the Alpha male in hopes of landing a hung beast, more so than you !!???

    Most likely NOT !!

    You're worried about your penis, she's worried about making life decisions...BIG difference my friend.

    Love hurts, always has, always will. If she's a typical women, didn't say girl, she wants security, and truth and the knowledge that you'll be there for her always. Not that you're penis is 8" long !!

    If she comes back, embrace her openly with your arms and heart..not your legs and genitals.
     
  17. zaza

    zaza New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2006
    Messages:
    444
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    If she wanted to go, there is no way you could stop her. From what you said she has gone to sample life. You need to do the same.
     
  18. theseareghosts

    Joined:
    May 28, 2007
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    midwest
    i just have a few small pieces of advice. i have been on both sides of a break up like this... you both care about each other but one of you wants to see what else there is out there.

    if you still want her back here a few things to do (im guessing you two will still be having contact with each other). be pleasent and friendly with her, dont tell her how much you hate the situation... its better she thinks you're doing okay. do what makes you happy, if you're happy she will want to be with you more. if you think about, no one wants to be around someone who is sad all the time and she may feel guilty for the situation and steer clear of it because it hurts her too. hang out with her on occasion, but let her make the first move here. dont take ever phone call... this will probably keep her thinking about you. as much as as playing mind games in a relsionship sucks it really is what people do. get out and do stuff, sitting around and feeling shitty wont help make you feel any better. go to a bar or out for coffee or whatever with friends and just relax, try not to talk about it all the time and just have the regular conversations you normally have... not saying its not okay to talk about it, but dont let it be the only thing. you can try to meet someone new, and if you do see where that goes. you're single so dont feel guilty about it. DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER IF YOU ARENT TOGETHER... she needs to know that you want a relasionship with her, and as much as you would want to its just a bad idea all around. when i was on your end of this kind of thing i made this mistake and i know now she saw it as good sex with someone she is comfortable with, not her coming back to me like i had hoped. Let go of the situation and keep in mind she may never come back to you... as much as hurts its a possibility. so just go out and do what you can to be happy at this point... happy people attract people to them.

    stop worrying about your dick and its size in relation to others. you have what you have. she doesnt just love your dick... i hope this helps.
     
  19. blueberryyum

    blueberryyum New Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    It's so hard during this time as we still have this lease and she walks around naked, can't touch her...but she's still so caring. I hope this is a good sign.
     
  20. sdjdguy

    sdjdguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Messages:
    68
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    26
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Diego (CA, US)
    I'm sorry to hear she left you, and I know how hard it must be. I agree with the earlier poster that this is not a penis size issue at all and you should not worry for a moment about that. She might have sex with a guy bigger than you, if she's looking for that, but otherwise it's pretty unlikely considering that you're very nicely hung yourself. My advice: do what she is doing. Get out there and date. You're young. Use your big cock on other women. Let them enjoy it, and you, and vice versa. You might not be missing her for long. And if you still want her, and want her back, dating is also the way to go. Seeing your "market potential" and that you can easily get other hot girls who are into you and your big cock just might make her realize she was silly to let you go.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted