Insults - give it your best shot.

There have been some cracking insults and put downs on the site. Sadly I have a head like a sieve, so could you record your favourites here for future reference.

Thank you.

PS I do remember "Your mother sucks goats for quarters." Sublime.

 

Hahahaha...I love that goat one. Now THAT'S desperate!

Not exactly very caustic, but one of my favorite insults or putdowns when someone questions the way I use a word or phrase I say..."Why don't you BUY a dictionary and look it up!?" :biggrin1:

 

to list a zinger out of context is to admit you keep a roster of them in your head, rather than doling out extemporaneous pain to the deserving

that said, I really like the word "fuckpocket"

used in a sentence, "lighten up, you come-guzzling fuckpocket"

see also "bitchwhore"

 

Please see my signature line.

Touro Friend #2 (swearing) is the only man I would ever have sex with. :tongue:

 

Two of my favorite (and most frequently rotated) insults were the invention of the Albot Insult Generator, which, for now at least, is no longer with us.

"You are a goddamn dorksock," AND, "you are a goddamn buttsquid."

 

One of my favorites... "Are you really that stupid? You should have been a drain-baby!"

 

"Twat-waffle" has been useful in my daily life, as has been "fucktard."

 

that old, old, old nugget and its many variations:

I refuse to participate in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

 

I have to give it up for this one:

So ruthless ... and yet, I laughed for a solid week.

 

Amusing as board insults can be I suspect to go on about them too much may well insult the intrinsic worth of the individual(s) at whom they're levelled. Do the rest of us find them amusing? Quite possibly. But the recipient never does. Here's to a "kindler, gentler" Large Penis Support Group.

I simply state it as food for thought. People are human and feelings can be hurt. And perhaps these very cited examples are the sorts of things from which we should veer clear in practical application. These sorts of phrases are just wholesale denigration of another person, and outside proper standards for acceptable conduct I feel.

You see. I still think manners count after all is said and done.

Signed, Pollyanna


That said:

The only thing worse than insults are "driveby shittings". Those simply cannot be tolerated.

 

Agreed. Frank has some of the best in his arsenal.

 

I have a knack for being able to see into people, spot their own insecurities, and exploit them in order to make that person feel terrible about themselves. I don't like doing this, as I'm typically a very nice person. When provoked, I can be quite insidiously vile, reducing grown men to tears without much effort. It helps that I have a certain way with words, when I really want to. For the record, I've never actually done this against anyone on these boards. Though many have taken offense at certain things I've said, usually it was just a case of them being oversensitive. I prefer to use my powers of empathy for good rather than evil.

But anyway, to answer your call for generic insults, I don't actually have any throw-away cliché ones that you could throw at anybody. All of the ones I come up with are custom-tailored. Those ones typically hurt a lot more.

 

**wrestles NineInchCock for that fucking crown!!!

 

The only "canned" insult I can remember came from a Ren Faire I attended. There was a game of Insult Tennis, and this was the winning response to one player's offering:

"This, from a man who saves his used condoms as a doggy bag for later."

Strangely enough, I've never found any reason to use this one... but it still makes me laugh.

I may be a sick woman. :wink:

 

mellow, you may be sick, but we love you for it.

I too use "fucktard" numerous times a day. we actually had an analysis of it in chat the other day, after one guy claimed it was a fake, made up word. um, do you think so?

some were under the impression that it is a contraction of fucking and bastard, and others though of it as fucking retard. the latter is my take on it.

I can spew forth when needed, but rarely do I have "canned" ones. the only exception that I have used regularly is "you, your mother, and your grandmother can all get in line to suck my dick." however, this is ALWAYS shouted, and 99% of the time, in spanish as well, as it sounds so much better. even if the receipent is not a spanish speaker, around here, they understand the "tu madre" part.

-Kinkyman

 

From the movie "Goin' South" (1979)
A little known comedy western:

"I wouldn't take you to a dog fight if you was the defendin' champ"
Henry Moon - played by Jack Nicholson


And
"Your breath would knock a buzzard off a gut wagon."
LOL


(and an apology to the Baptists here...this is funny cause my Ex MIL was Baptist)

"The main problem with Baptists is they don't hold them under long enough."

 

I kind of like...I'll take my brain out and well be equal....

 

"you may have a big dick, but I have a higher IQ."

"if you're homophobic and "straight", ostensibly; I'm Bill Gates on welfare."

"you're dick may be big, but my ego is bigger."

"who says you have a small penis? you're just horizontally challenged."

"ive seen newborns with bigger penises."

"i'm not small, you are just a loose slut."

E

 

What should be done? Give the shitter a "Brown Toilet Paper Roll" award for their actions? Or perhaps put out a DRIVE-BY SHIT ADVISORY for that particular thread?

Other ideas welcome. :smile:

 

Well I guess this will provide more ammo to label me. But one of my favorite slams is...


PUNK ASS BITCH!
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