I'm happily married and mostly straight. Have always been curious about guys, have sought out my share of gay porn, but the one and only occasion when I actually met up with a man for a sexual encounter it was a totally "neutral" event that wasn't exciting or enjoyable, and that led me to think maybe I'm just curious and not "really" bi.
But goddamned if I don't have dreams about naked guys and sucking cock... all the time... for years. And in the last few months it's grown vastly more intense. Like if this were a movie, it would turn out Earth is orbiting a new planet shaped like a cock and that's been giving people visions like "Close Encounters."
End of last week, for instance, I dreamed I was walking through the city and saw a big line of guys outside a staircase for a public bathroom. Looking down the staircase there was a sign on the wall: "NAKED OR HALF-NAKED GUYS." The bathroom was attached to a gym locker room. One a bench in the middle of the locker room, one guy was roughly, dominantly fucking the living daylights out of another guy's helpless face.
The facefucker was maybe 40-45, beefy, muscular upper body but beer belly, huge thick cock. He was mechanically, monstrously stab-fucking balls deep into his adoring victim's mouth. The face getting fucked was a guy barely half his age, squirming underneath him on the bench. The fucker pulled out what looked like a 9 inch long, 5 inch across cock and slithered and slapped it all over his hole's sweaty face while the latter gasped and gagged. Then sunk it back in and did more facefucking push-ups for a while. Since it was a dream the bottom's face would instantly turn into an ass that the fucker was pummeling just as hard. He pulled out and gushed an impossible load all over the exhausted face of his dominated, thoroughly fucked victim.
I was 100% convinced it was real because it was a BEYOND photo-realistic image in the dream - it had that "hyper-real" image quality that you see in soap operas or the Hobbit movies, the ones filmed at like 70 fps. I was sure I was there, watching something really happen, and wanting to take my turn fucking that gasping little bitch's mouth too.
When I woke up I was out of my mind with lust and my first thought was to grab my wife and fuck her near-senselessly, brutally, fuck like a lion eating a gazelle that can't get away. Obviously I didn't do that, among other reasons because it was 6am on a Thursday, but goddamn I wanted to. I was worked up and agitated all day and wished there was some young guy pinned under me on a bench for me to rut at both ends without mercy.
Since then it's been less than a week and I've had dreams of gawking and slurping on other men's cocks just about every single night.
And the best part of every dream, every time.... is the feeling of relief I get when the cock goes into my mouth. The feeling of "....at last!". Surrendering and serving. And when I wake up and realize it never happened, I never really did it.... goddamn, I am so disappointed.
I spent my adolescent years trying to suppress and deny my interest in other men. When I found out how enjoyable sex with women was, I figured those thoughts had never really meant anything. After years of ongoing curiosity, I finally met up with a guy to see what it would be like... and it felt like nothing, surely seeming like all I really wanted was cock porn pics because the opportunity with a real cock hadn't excited me at all. But now - now I want to try again, am aching to try again, am getting MAGNETIZED by intense intrusive dreams to try again, suck cock, worship cock, take cock, lick a hot guy from toes to ears and submit to bitchdom like every fantasy I ever had. And I can't. Not at this point in my life, certainly not with COVID in the picture.
It's like part of me has finally realized "Yep, this will never happen, ever, forever, you have missed your chance and will go to your grave never taking cock," and other parts of me are in full desperate mutiny.
But goddamned if I don't have dreams about naked guys and sucking cock... all the time... for years. And in the last few months it's grown vastly more intense. Like if this were a movie, it would turn out Earth is orbiting a new planet shaped like a cock and that's been giving people visions like "Close Encounters."
End of last week, for instance, I dreamed I was walking through the city and saw a big line of guys outside a staircase for a public bathroom. Looking down the staircase there was a sign on the wall: "NAKED OR HALF-NAKED GUYS." The bathroom was attached to a gym locker room. One a bench in the middle of the locker room, one guy was roughly, dominantly fucking the living daylights out of another guy's helpless face.
The facefucker was maybe 40-45, beefy, muscular upper body but beer belly, huge thick cock. He was mechanically, monstrously stab-fucking balls deep into his adoring victim's mouth. The face getting fucked was a guy barely half his age, squirming underneath him on the bench. The fucker pulled out what looked like a 9 inch long, 5 inch across cock and slithered and slapped it all over his hole's sweaty face while the latter gasped and gagged. Then sunk it back in and did more facefucking push-ups for a while. Since it was a dream the bottom's face would instantly turn into an ass that the fucker was pummeling just as hard. He pulled out and gushed an impossible load all over the exhausted face of his dominated, thoroughly fucked victim.
I was 100% convinced it was real because it was a BEYOND photo-realistic image in the dream - it had that "hyper-real" image quality that you see in soap operas or the Hobbit movies, the ones filmed at like 70 fps. I was sure I was there, watching something really happen, and wanting to take my turn fucking that gasping little bitch's mouth too.
When I woke up I was out of my mind with lust and my first thought was to grab my wife and fuck her near-senselessly, brutally, fuck like a lion eating a gazelle that can't get away. Obviously I didn't do that, among other reasons because it was 6am on a Thursday, but goddamn I wanted to. I was worked up and agitated all day and wished there was some young guy pinned under me on a bench for me to rut at both ends without mercy.
Since then it's been less than a week and I've had dreams of gawking and slurping on other men's cocks just about every single night.
And the best part of every dream, every time.... is the feeling of relief I get when the cock goes into my mouth. The feeling of "....at last!". Surrendering and serving. And when I wake up and realize it never happened, I never really did it.... goddamn, I am so disappointed.
I spent my adolescent years trying to suppress and deny my interest in other men. When I found out how enjoyable sex with women was, I figured those thoughts had never really meant anything. After years of ongoing curiosity, I finally met up with a guy to see what it would be like... and it felt like nothing, surely seeming like all I really wanted was cock porn pics because the opportunity with a real cock hadn't excited me at all. But now - now I want to try again, am aching to try again, am getting MAGNETIZED by intense intrusive dreams to try again, suck cock, worship cock, take cock, lick a hot guy from toes to ears and submit to bitchdom like every fantasy I ever had. And I can't. Not at this point in my life, certainly not with COVID in the picture.
It's like part of me has finally realized "Yep, this will never happen, ever, forever, you have missed your chance and will go to your grave never taking cock," and other parts of me are in full desperate mutiny.