Intimidating men with sexuality

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_Jennuine73, Nov 18, 2008.

  1. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    Why are some men intimidated by a woman with a strong sense of her sexuality? Someone who knows what she wants/likes and is not shy about stating it, why is this threatening?
     
  2. nicenycdick

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    Performance anxiety. If a woman knows exactly what she wants and asks for it, then a man has no excuse if he can't deliver...except, of course, if he is somehow sexually inadequate. And since women only need us to propagate the species, what good would we be then?
     
  3. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    I can see what you are saying nicenycdick. Thing is, they are intimidated so they don't even attempt.
     
  4. exwhyzee

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    I dunno, if it wasn't for women like that I would never have gotten laid. Maybe some guys like to drive the bus, while others are willing to go along for the ride.
     
  5. tal94

    tal94 New Member

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    i like a forward woman- beats me having to make the first move- can be a bit shy- maybe its still a bit taboo but bring it on i say
     
  6. surferboy

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    because most men feel it emasculates them. plus, there's the whole judeo-christian conditioning of "oh, she's a sexual being, so she must be a slut with 10 STDs!"


    EDIT: that is so not how i feel, btw
     
  7. B_stu.kay823

    B_stu.kay823 New Member

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    ^^^ What he (tal94) said
     
  8. curious n str8

    curious n str8 New Member

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    It all depends what feelings are involved. Plus who wants to be known as a bad lover?
     
  9. 8060

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    I've watched couples on the sidelines before. I have seen men shocked, embarrased, whatever from just some of the things that their women says. Personally, I always find the women's comments refreshing and comical at times. I think as a society we get so caught in creating a representative for ourselves to introduce to random strangers, telling lies to our friends and loved ones, that we lose sight of what we really want. From what I have seen, some men find assertive women intimidating. I have no idea why. Maybe when the men that are intimidated by assertive women realize that they (the women) like sex as much as they do (and aren't into playing the game to the prize), they won't be so apt to keep relying on their lies and 'representative' figure that eventually turns into a turnoff for women.

    I like a bold woman. It cuts out on the guessing.
     
  10. OCMuscleJock

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    I love a strong willed woman... HOWEVER, it's the shy ones you gotta worry about...they are the wild ones. :)
     
  11. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    My point is, the feeling that you are going to be judged by her. Why is that even there? Now, I understand what surferboy said about religion. I think that is one of the biggest underlying issue. Women are not supposed to be sexual creatures. I think a lot of men look at a sexually confident woman and think "slut!" and how she is defective.
     
  12. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Would love the answer to this question as well, Jenn.
    Maybe because a sexually liberated woman is the antithesis of the good wife, motherhood, virtue, and all that some men seek in a proper mate? :shrug:

    Interesting. I think some men secretly fear they are inadequate and unlearned in bed, so a woman that has many experiences to pull from is a threat. One wrong move from him and she confirms his worst fears--he doesn't know what he's doing, has a small dick compared to her other lovers, lasts half as long as 90% of other guys, etc.
     
  13. trentster

    trentster New Member

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    I love a woman with a strong sexual personality, mainly because I don't know when to make the first move, but with some guys it's a lot of factors. There is the "she's a slut" factor, the "I'm not going to be as good" with the follow up "she won't want to see me again". For others, they want to be in power, they want to be seen as "the man" so any advancement by the woman isn't proper.

    I do think that these feelings, at least the last one, are disappearing as women are portrayed as sexual beings in the media. Whether or not this will be positive is yet to be seen.
     
  14. badgirl22

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    Ah Jenn, perhaps if I'd understood the answer to this question my marriage wouldn't be so in trouble at this point. I think just like some men like blonds, others brunettes, some like the strong, forward, open sexual type women and others like the more shy quiet ones. In my case, I think it's an ego problem - not mine, his.
     
  15. douchenbaggin

    douchenbaggin New Member

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    I love blonds myself :D

    But like the others say, when a woman is strong in what she wants, usually guys may feel they maybe wont meet the expectations and puts a little added pressure. I think its fun to be with a woman like that, but then again its also fun to be the one in control
     
  16. trentster

    trentster New Member

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    As badgirl said, it's preference. I would love it for some woman to come up and ask me out, but some would hate it. If everyone loved one type of woman, where would be the variety?
     
  17. surferboy

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    i agree, to an extent. i think its most peoples. where as i crack up whenever i lie, so i just don't bother with lying to anyone
     
  18. 8060

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    I also think that we're still too concerned with what other people think about us especially a prospective mate.

    "If I'm not about to come in the bedroom and put it down, then nobody is."

    That's such a bad thought to have. I wish more of us would just jump out on faith. It's okay that someone can be better at something than we are. We just have to be willing to have them teach us so that every encounter we have isn't so 'intimidating.' Learning new things and going through new experiences helps to build confidence.

    I was having this same conversation years ago with a friend. We decided that we were just going to stop lying to people and say exactly what we wanted out of them. Example, "I just want to fuck." Please do not take this wrong way. I'm painting a picture. Now, those words coming out of a man's mouth, it sounds bold, spectacular, and NOT UNEXPECTED being the biggest thing. That's a man's man that said that. He's secure, confident, and seen as EXPECTED through everyone else's eyes. Now, for a woman to say that very same thing, "I just want to fuck", then it's a problem. All of these crazy thoughts comes into men's head when she says something like that. You nasty *****! I can't believe you would say something like that. I wouldn't fuck you with a ten foot pole. It wasn't a problem before and it still shouldn't be because women get horny too. We're the same despite our differences.

    Maybe it's just good old fashioned fear.
     
  19. 8wayup

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    I'm not intimidated, I welcome the honesty. If there is no initial mental or physical attraction I enjoy the conversation. If there is I savor it like fine wine, you don't run across these ladies too often. If there isn't at first but it grows as the conversation progresses it is superb. There are few things as stimulating as sexual tension, especially when it builds.

    My experience has been that there is a vast difference between women that ooze sexuality and sluts.
     
  20. 8060

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    I agree. I don't think that 'sluts' would say anything as appealing as a sexually assertive woman would. The term 'slut' seems kind of unclassy to me. Assertiveness can be full of class:wink:
     
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