Intimidating men with sexuality

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

What's makes a woman a slut? :shrug:

 

[8060]

What's makes a woman a slut? :shrug:

Oh, I don't have an answer for this question. Not at all. I'm off the hook for an answer

...now I wait:smile:

 

[tal94]

i think the slut thing is a red herring and a bit easy, so to speak. What yer man said earlier about emasculation is the answer. Those reasonable blokes who may well be confident enough but man enough they don't know everything will be happy to let a woman guide them. Those that aren't I don't understand cos if if role was reversed blah de blah

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

I disagree, slut is a generally considered to be a derogatory term, and it is one used against women who are sexually unbound/unrestrained.

Personally, I own the term and see myself as an ethical slut, thanks to Easton, but the reality is most who use term do so as a negative against women who do not act in an acceptable sexual manner. Which, I think plays into the intimidation issue--women acting outside the traditional boundaries.

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

I don't think I've ever been intimidated by a sexually assertive woman. I have been surprised though. In my experience, it isn't that common. Not common enough, anyway.

 

[VRMan]

Getting back to the original question, it intimidates men because it derails them from their usual portfolio of behaviour that the male-female role assignment has put up.

I find sexually demanding women very sexy, but I am sure I would not be able to handle it. I would not know how to behave. I have been told for decades that women find men too aggressive, that men only want to fuck while women only want a father to their children (I am exaggerating to get my point across).
If a woman behaves in a sexually assertive manner, I could not react to her in the same way because I would feel I would do a bunch of bad things to her. Treat her as an object. Not take her seriously as a person. Think with my dick. etc. etc.

I think decades of male-female role education have taught us that we have to behave this and that way, and when someone comes along who does not fit into this belief system, we are pretty lost.

 

[Gordon025]

Because modern women are blossoming into incredible creatures, free of all the silly boundaries which have limited their activities and scopes of interest for eons.

Men, OTOH, are still in the dark ages when it comes to understanding the modern woman.

Men, she is no longer the shy damsel whom we are supposed to protect, first and foremost. The butterfly who is only supposed to react to our desires and overtures, pretending that she has no dirty urges of her own.

Modern women want to play as equals in all ways, and are fully capable of doing so. Part of the time, at least, she wants to approach you with the same aggressive sexuality with which we are 'licensed' to approach her. Guess what - it now works both ways.

Sex is a POWER SHARING GAME. Except in cases of extreme fetish, like Xtreme dom and sub, the rest of the time the women want to drive some of the time. They finally woke up and discovered that they have many of the same domination urges that we do. And in many cases it's best not to challenge them, because there are some who can put you on the ground at their feet in a flash.

But just one word of advice: If you see Jennuine73 approaching with her strap-on on, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

 

[Jovial]

Jenn, you are a bit vague. Could you give an example of a situation where you were assertive and you thought the guy was intimidated?

I'm going to guess at what you meant and answer, so I'm sorry if I misunderstood you.

If you come onto a guy sexually and he "runs away" maybe you are just interpreting this as intimidated. I think most women assume every guy will sleep with any woman that is willing as soon as she is willing. This is because usually it's the woman that takes longer to decide that she likes a man enough to have sex. So women's experience is that as soon as they are ready the guy is also ready. The few times guys aren't ready and want to get to know her better, the woman interprets this as them being intimidated or wimpy. If a woman is assertive and wants sex sooner than most women, then she is more often going to be turned down because the man doesn't know if he likes her that soon.

So I believe what you call intimidated is just a misunderstanding.

 

[D_Brecock Evileye]

Why are some men intimidated by a woman with a strong sense of her sexuality? Someone who knows what she wants/likes and is not shy about stating it, why is this threatening?

Hell, I wish I could find someone like that. I have a hard time finding a woman who will tell me what she likes. :frown1:

 

[Ed69]

Thanks for saying what I was thinking Jovial.


Just because we are male does not mean we are a walking hard on for you females to ride when you want too.

 

[Kassokilleri2ff]

Why are some men intimidated by a woman with a strong sense of her sexuality? Someone who knows what she wants/likes and is not shy about stating it, why is this threatening?

I don't get it. What makes a strong sense of sexuality? That she loves to have sex and fuck a million people? Something else? I don't get it.

Also, if a I'm with a girl and she tells me she likes this or that, I'm happy that I don't have to figure it out on my own.

If a woman having a strong sexuality means she makes the moves, than thats great! lol. I don't know why guys would be afraid of that.

 

[B_Jennuine73]

I knew I was going to be misunderstood somewhere down the line.

Example: A man and woman meet and there is immediate chemistry. Exchange emails and telephone numbers. Dirty talk on the phone, about what each of them like. No overtly dominate statements by the woman, but the man does. The woman agrees to what he wants and he agrees to what she wants. Mostly they match in desires/fantasies. Naughty pics exchanged. When they meet, clothes fly off and things get extremely hot quick. The woman starts to talk the same way as on the phone and the man retreats mentally. Not physically, just mentally. After bodily fluids fly, the man says she is too assertive/aggressive. Yet he will play with her his way. His body reacted opposite to what he said. He enjoyed every minute yet.....was too I don't even know, to do it again.

 

[B_Jennuine73]

If you come onto a guy sexually and he "runs away" maybe you are just interpreting this as intimidated. I think most women assume every guy will sleep with any woman that is willing as soon as she is willing. This is because usually it's the woman that takes longer to decide that she likes a man enough to have sex. So women's experience is that as soon as they are ready the guy is also ready. The few times guys aren't ready and want to get to know her better, the woman interprets this as them being intimidated or wimpy. If a woman is assertive and wants sex sooner than most women, then she is more often going to be turned down because the man doesn't know if he likes her that soon.

So I believe what you call intimidated is just a misunderstanding.

Not the case in any of the situations. I read people well and don't push.

 

[B_Jennuine73]

Thanks for saying what I was thinking Jovial.


Just because we are male does not mean we are a walking hard on for you females to ride when you want too.

Where in my post did I imply this is what I believe?

 

[D_Eric_the_Bred]

Are you talking from personal experience, or just theorizing?

Just because a woman acts like she is a. in heat or b. is the dominant and has what she wants does not mean that a man will find her attractive.

I have found that the 'I don't get men because they are intimidated by me' excuse is used by people who are not what would be considered conventionally attractive. Also, if a woman wants to assert herself... or be the dom, she has to be willing to break her sub and control that relationship.

 

[ZOS23xy]

My point is, the feeling that you are going to be judged by her. Why is that even there? Now, I understand what surferboy said about religion. I think that is one of the biggest underlying issue. Women are not supposed to be sexual creatures. I think a lot of men look at a sexually confident woman and think "slut!" and how she is defective.

My wife liked me the moment we met.

Since we've been married there's no fallow time. She often acts aggressive, and I find it a bit fun. She's sexual, thank you. Confident? Yes.

 

[nicenycdick]

I still think it comes (parden the pun) down to performance anxiety. For the most part, sexual success is equated with reaching orgasm. For men, there is no pretending. All involved can tell if a man actually reaches orgasm. In this alone can anxiety lead to failure. So, as your mate lists exactly what she'd like you to be doing to her, you have to make sure that all of that adds up to an ejaculation. In fact, anything that takes focus away from our penises has the potential to derail our eventual climax. And that failure can not be faked.

I have never had a problem cumming. But I can recall the times when, distracted by my partner's acrobatics, I had to focus just a tad more on my penis.

This may not be the entire answer, but my sense is that it is in the right direction.

 

[B_Jennuine73]

Are you talking from personal experience, or just theorizing?

Just because a woman acts like she is a. in heat or b. is the dominant and has what she wants does not mean that a man will find her attractive.

I have found that the 'I don't get men because they are intimidated by me' excuse is used by people who are not what would be considered conventionally attractive. Also, if a woman wants to assert herself... or be the dom, she has to be willing to break her sub and control that relationship.

I have been in the lifestyle for 12yrs as a domme. I understand the dynamics better than most and this is not what I am talking about. I am not talking power exchange.

I said in a previous post the situation. We found each other attractive, it's not about that. We both got off, more than once, it's not about that.

You know what I think most of it is? Some men talk shit. They say what they can do, say what they want, say what they like and when it gets down to it, a woman who knows herself and what she likes/wants scares the fuck out of them.

 

[B_mylipswet]

I believe I intimidate men. However, it's the man who must be in power that I desire. I want my man to take total control then and only then would I be submissive which I believe is proper as well. So not guts no glory.

 

[D_Eric_the_Bred]

You know what I think most of it is? Some men talk shit. They say what they can do, say what they want, say what they like and when it gets down to it, a woman who knows herself and what she likes/wants scares the fuck out of them.

Absolutely, my wife and I have been swinging for three years and have noticed that a lot of guys talk shit but when it comes down to it are very afraid to act on it... or crumble under pressure ie. 'I would have a threesome'

Since you had multiple opportunities to be with the partner in the example above, did you ask why it was that the situation was ending?