Invent Your Sexual Position

[DC_DEEP]

wrestlefan, you left me at a bit of a dead end with that post. I'm not sure exactly what was the sexual position I was supposed to define, and if it's the obvious, well, that's just too damned obvious.

I was just editing an article for a technical journal, and two of the errors I corrected gave me an idea for this thread. I'm going to cheat a little - I have two sex positions that could be lots of fun:

The Split Infinitive

and

The Dangling Participle.

 

[BigA]

you spray cum in a circle around the breast area. but it must be in drips, not a complete circle.

MERCURIALBLISSANDNINEINCHFUCKSESSION...

NIC is wildly fucking MercurialBlisses brains out. And BigA walks in the room whips his cock out and they both start worshiping it, in all it's 6x4 splendor.

Butterball smoochie

 

[BigA]

Nothing for 3 hours and two in one minute

 

[ClaireTalon]

NIC is wildly fucking MercurialBlisses brains out. And BigA walks in the room whips his cock out and they both start worshiping it, in all it's 6x4 splendor.

Butterball smoochie

Penetration-free petting in a sitting position, huddled up tightly together, kissing and smooching so hot it would make butter all soft and fluffy.

The Unmanned Drone.

 

[rawbone8]

Penetration-free petting in a sitting position, huddled up tightly together, kissing and smooching so hot it would make butter all soft and fluffy.

The Unmanned Drone.

A game where a smooth vibrator is lightly maneuvered reconnaissance style over the nipples, stomach, hips, thighs and genitals passing from one partner to the other, without breaking skin contact.

Leap frog

 

[dannymawg]

Leap Frog is another group sex/participation game, best suited for an equal number of m/f partners.

Males are flat on their backs (lilypads?), females squatting on the males' members a la a frog about to leap. The males are in constant communication on ETA of orgasm of the other males, as when a male partner edges the point of no return, the female leaps off, and assumes the frog position on another male partner. This allows for extended fuck sessions, and requires strong orgasmic control of the males. The males who come have to fetch pizza and beer.

Kinda like musical chairs, I guess... and the females are coming whenever they feel like it :biggrin1:

JESUS IS COMING - LOOK BUSY

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Oh god :lmao: the best part of this thread is the names for the positions I think. good one, Dannyhorse. I'd come up with something but I need to finish my real homework..

 

[BigA]

Leap Frog is another group sex/participation game, best suited for an equal number of m/f partners.

Males are flat on their backs (lilypads?), females squatting on the males' members a la a frog about to leap. The males are in constant communication on ETA of orgasm of the other males, as when a male partner edges the point of no return, the female leaps off, and assumes the frog position on another male partner. This allows for extended fuck sessions, and requires strong orgasmic control of the males. The males who come have to fetch pizza and beer.

Kinda like musical chairs, I guess... and the females are coming whenever they feel like it :biggrin1:

JESUS IS COMING - LOOK BUSY

Two people are going at it like mad, below the waist. While casually reading their bibles.

Sensitive maestro

 

[dannymawg]

The Sensitive Maestro is very specific - in a nutshell, a maestro receives a BJ while in the middle of conducting. His arms are subject to the vagaries of his body's response to the BJ, and the movements affect the music accordingly.

In light of the patrician nature of symphony/orchestral presentations, decorum is maintained with proper tailoring of clothing, and a small podium like housing for the blower, for the maestro to read any sheet music from and the maestro to, ah... lean into (the SM should be improvisational though, and not adhere to any given work lest the audience snicker about mistakes).

Now when that CD comes out, I'm buyin it :biggrin1:

the Creme Brulee

 

[Ethyl]

Creme Brulee

One person lies on back. The other partner(s) ejaculate on the person, taking great care that the jizz is focused on one small area. Mix in a little sugar and carmelize with a blowtorch or fireplace lighter, then the other(s) break through and voila! Dessert.

Sorcerer's Apprentice

 

[jakeatolla]

Sorcerer's Apprentice

Basically it's just straight sex, missionary postion, doggie style ,
whatever you like. But with a twist, Verne Troyer ( Mini Me )
is strapped to the man's torso giving the woman two
insertions for the price of one.



The Flamming Homer

 

[BigA]

Basically it's just straight sex, missionary postion, doggie style ,
whatever you like. But with a twist, Verne Troyer ( Mini Me )
is strapped to the man's torso giving the woman two
insertions for the price of one.



The Flamming Homer

You mean flaming homer, right?
Well two guys take turns farting and lighting a match. While the other one swings his cock into the flames as hard as he can. The first one to not have his dick burn off wins.

Stupid, i know. but i didnt know what else to say about it. lol

The limber siamese astronaut

 

[dannymawg]

The Limber Siamese Astronaut involves a m/f couple, wearing body suits that expose genitalia as well as erogenous zones, the suits suspended by cables. It is likened to a Calder mobile, as the partners are free to move in graceful but damped arcs, with the movement of the cables always keeping the partners in contact at some point on their bodies, if not engaging genitalia. [I just revisited "Logan's Run" last week and I think the Carousel scene might have influenced this]

The LSA is kinda equipment intensive, but future development of superconductors will allow for anti-gravity devices to replace the cable system described.

Pretzel Logic

 

[rawbone8]

Pretzel Logic

This is the classic pick-up technique found in almost every ashram where a horny yogi plows a comely student. Contortions ensue.:tongue:

 

[rawbone8]

Pretzel Logic

This is the classic pick-up technique found in almost every ashram where a horny yogi plows a comely student. Contortions ensue.:tongue:

SSSSteamed Heat

 

[dannymawg]

The Split Infinitive

and

The Dangling Participle.

The Split Infinitive is: to boldly go... where no man has gone before :biggrin1:

The Dangling Participle: Hopefully, a partner on their knees reaches up to stroke with outward motion the participle that dangles from a LPSG member :tongue:

SSSSteamed Heat

SSSSteamed Heat only happens in the back of the finest Chinese restaurants. A nubile Szechwan dumpling is presented to you in private, in a bamboo basket, garnished with her sister, after having been steamed to a degree of slick, sweet-n-sour pleasure. All activity is confined to the basket - a one dish meal.

BAM! Three in one post!

Would it be dastardly to say BOPPERBASTING? :biggrin1:

OK...

Bitch On Wheels

 

[Ethyl]

:rofl:


Bitch on Wheels:

Spin-off on angry sex. Angry person in passengers' seat climbs over the drivers' seat and attempts to grind driver into their seat as they're driving. Warning: angry sexual distraction could cause accidents. Best attempted when car is parked.


Mea Culpa

 

[dannymawg]

I wanna see Bitch On Wheels in the Viper :wink:

 

[Ethyl]

I wanna see Bitch On Wheels in the Viper :wink:

*laughs until the tears fall*

I'll see if we can arrange that.

Please don't worry. No apologies necessary. :biggrin1:

on to the next...

 

[carlton10]

Anagram for Lace Ma Up- wife who enjoys bondage when the kiddies are off to sleep


Bermuda Triangle