Involuntary Celibacy

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_Amyntas Lillydong, Oct 4, 2008.

  1. D_Amyntas Lillydong

    D_Amyntas Lillydong Account Disabled

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    Look it up. How many here think they have and for how long so far? Me, three years.
     
    #1 D_Amyntas Lillydong, Oct 4, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2008
  2. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    dang!

    my heart goes out to you guys
     
  3. Deno

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    the gov. screws me enough to get by.
     
  4. JMeister

    JMeister Member

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    And your reason is?
     
  5. Principessa

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    :irked: Pet peeve #247 people who start a thread by telling me to look something up for which they could easily have provided a link.


    Involuntary celibacy (or incel) is the state of a person who has not established an intimate relationship or engaged in sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy or sexual abstinence. The term is used especially for adults who, despite general expectations, have had little to no sexual or romantic experience.

    An involuntarily celibate person is someone who fails to initiate or sustain a sexual or romantic relationship, despite his/her desire to experience such a relationship. Afflicted people may suffer from loneliness, frustration, and may be mistaken for homosexuals who are hiding their sexuality.[dubious – discuss]


    In her book The History of Celibacy, Elizabeth Abbott devotes one chapter to involuntary celibates. She includes in this category a wide variety of people:[1]
    • Those in social circumstances that deny them access to potential partners (for example, being imprisoned, or living in a society with skewed sex ratios caused by the death of many men in a war, or preferential abandonment or abortion of females)
    • Those without access to either birth control or the monetary resources to deal with a child
    • Those denied the right to marry by social norms (for example, widows in certain Hindu communities, or younger sisters in societies that demanded the oldest be married first)
    • Women whose families lacked money for the dowries required by their society
    • People who would lose their jobs if they were known to be sexually active (for example, apprentices and journeymen in certain trades in Medieval Europe, or certain Western domestic servant or educator positions prior to the past century)
    • Men castrated against their will
    There is controversy concerning the duration of the celibacy needed to qualify for the label of involuntary celibacy. Some people class themselves as involuntarily celibate because they are not in a relationship at the moment, though they have been in the past. Critics to this view suggest that the proper label for this is simply being "single", which, unlike "involuntarily celibate," is in common usage and does not carry potential social stigma, while involuntary celibacy is more or less a semi-perpetual condition. Donnelly and Burgess used a floor figure of six months of involuntary celibacy in their study design. Others apply the term only to those who have never been involved in a sexual and/or romantic relationship.[2
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    4 months.
     
  7. Dolcetto

    Dolcetto New Member

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    Time to get a fleshlight.
     
  8. morsecode

    morsecode New Member

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  9. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Never.
    However, it may happen in the future. :shrug:

    +1

    I'm offering. :tongue:
     
  10. D_Selmus_Swallow

    D_Selmus_Swallow Account Disabled

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    99.9999% of my life.
     
  11. Principessa

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    Some of the reasons for celibacy sound like they could easily be reasons for involuntary celibacy as well. I think the new phraseology to describe the very simple state of singleness is a bit much. Speaking as one who has twice had 4 year stints of celibacy I think that if you can't go 4 months w/o a relationship or sex there must be something wrong with you. It seems to me that person is needy and clingy. Heck some bad relationships can take a year or more to get over. :redface: :frown1:


    Celibacy refers to the lack of participation in sexual intercourse. A vow of celibacy is a promise not to have sex and not to enter into marriage. The term involuntary celibacy has recently appeared to describe a chronic, unwilling state of celibacy. Sometimes the word is also defined as the state of being unmarried.

    Motivations
    • Religious beliefs, e.g. Clerical celibacy, sannyasa.
    • To focus energies on other matters, like one's career or social issues, e.g. sublimation.
    • To cultivate a relationship according to an ideal of chastity.
    • A distaste or lack of An inability to form a sexual relationship, e.g. involuntary celibacy. appetite for sex, e.g. asexuality or antisexualism.
    • Perceived benefit of alteration of physiological factors, e.g. hormonal changes.
    • As an attempt to regain a sense of self and independence from others.
    • Medical limitations, e.g. medical celibacy.
    • Avoiding risk of venereal disease.
    • Avoiding being emotionally hurt.
    • As a means of birth control.
    • Avoiding prosecution, e.g. for homosexual relations under sodomy laws.
     
  12. Troykin

    Troykin New Member

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    Voluntary or involuntary? A little of both and it went on for several years.
     
  13. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    28 years....on a good day. 76 on a bad one.
     
  14. got_lost

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    15 years exactly.

    It's over now though! :1244:
     
  15. killerb

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    ok what's the term for being sexually active, but not in a relationship and considering giving up sex for an undertermined period of time?

    because that's where I am right now...:confused:
     
  16. got_lost

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    Voluntary celibacy?
     
  17. morsecode

    morsecode New Member

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    Good, 'cos I'm taking :wink::biggrin1:
     
  18. killerb

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    makes sense to me!
     
  19. nay-nay

    nay-nay New Member

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    3 years. and i'm 100% sure i won't have sex for a long time, still. i don't know how to trust people or touch people. i was abused emotionally, physically, and sexually when i was little and i feel like all guys ever see in me is someone to fuck. i told myself 3 years ago that the next person i have sex with will be someone i trust, someone i love. someone patient. it will mean something and i'll be the only one. i won't be disrespected anymore, or a piece of meat.

    so until i meet a nice guy who meets my standards, i more than likely am not going to have sex. i don't want to have sex just to have sex. i assume that everyone has an STD, and that's enough to say "nevermind" and use my dildo instead.

    and so far, guys SUCK at sex!

    ...this thread made me cry.

    Cheers for another 3+ years! [insert sarcastic grin]
     
    #19 nay-nay, Oct 6, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2008
  20. D_Amyntas Lillydong

    D_Amyntas Lillydong Account Disabled

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    Didn't mean to make you cry nay-nay. You're on my friends list. I made the same decision that you made. Only in my case with it being with a woman.
     
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