[quote author=canamrock link=board=relationships;num=1073377750;start=0#0 date=01/06/04 at 00:20:10]
"... I have the stereotypical 'signs' of being well endowed (large hands & feet, etc.), but I find it curious that somebody would predict size by the person's actions and looks. Has anyone else noticed this?
...I recall reading a post of Donk's, IIRC, about wanting to exercise in small part because he wanted his body to match his cock in studliness. I must admit, I had a similar thought when I started my sessions with my trainer recently, and I'm not even as exceptionally endowed as he is. Does the penis really play that big a role in our psyche?..."
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This is no exaggeration.
I am telling the truth, here (sadly).
I spent 47 years of my life....(get it, 47 YEARS!) worrying and agonizing over my penis size! Whether this was by conscious choice or not (I still think sub-conscious), what it meant to me was a wasted life---low self esteem, lost relationships (or, lost opportunities to even try them!) and constantly retreating and being reclusive.
--Obviously NOT good.
I too, have all the "stereotypical signs" that I must be some kind of stupendously hung....tall, thin-frame, long (wiry) arms, legs, lean torso, big hands, big feet, and prominent nose....high cheek bone structure....all of the sure tell-tale signs I was "expected" to be packing big time. I assumed every woman (and man) meeting me for the first time; talking with me personally, --anyway and anyhow in my life MUST be thinking this stuff about me.
I do alot of public speaking in my work. Imagine the inner turmoil always brewing as I faced an audience!
This self-proclaimed "need" to live up to other's expectations consumed me, really. (Remember, I'm not exaggerating here.)
'Seems so foolish now, but maybe this will help someone else! This is one of the main reasons I stay in this forum--to try to help others (men and women) with their self esteem issues. I KNOW this way of thinking can paralyze and inhibit healthy living. It's terrible and, a tragedy in its own rite.
Actually, I was above average (considerably) even in my flaccid size yet, didn't even know it as I really hadn't seen other men (that often) flaccid let alone erect. I confess to being a "crotch watcher" all my life because I really was dying of curiosity to know how I really compared to other guys. Somehow though, (at some point in my life) I must have seen a guy at my height who had what I thought I should have-- (and I very obviously wanted SO badly)....something in the neighborhood of like 10" flaccid by goodness-knows- "what" in erect size! -- (maybe in the neighborhood of say, 14" I would reckon!) Now, if I could have THOSE kind of dimensions on a 6'4" frame, why then I would REALLY FEEL like I was indeed "hung". I never knew (nor cared!) about the consequences of trying to enjoy a normal sex life with that kind of appendage!
I've covered this whole notion before (and, often) in this forum to the point of (now) ad nauseum no doubt for many readers. I'm just playing up though, that yes indeed, obsession over penis size can and DOES dominate one's thinking, throughout life, and in my case, the quality of one's life. One's psyche IS most certainly involved, no doubt whatsoever.
I hated myself so badly that I even resorted to PE (about age 45!) and stayed with it for several years to get some improvement (thankfully). I'm still not hanging "stupendous", but, that's okay, now (somehow).
What's happened really I believe, are several things.
This forum for one! What a God-send to have a vehicle to discuss and learn from each other (men and women) about sex and penis issues. People need to discuss sexual matters and learn, NOT to be embarrassed and scared to get questions answered. --Where else can one go to, to delve into what we do here?
The other "positive" in my life is finally trying to accept myself and moving forward...."wisening up" if you will. Life has taught me much in the last three years especially with serious family illness, financial challenges, vocational struggles....Concerns over my penis size have somehow "paled" in comparison to many of these other (more crucial!) matters.
Finally,---recognizing that really good (QUALITY)relationships don't depend entirely on one's endowment. Those who could really make a difference in my life (as in a life mate) will tend to look at my OTHER attributes first, or at least they should. The "size" thing will work itself out later on.
So, I hope others will follow with their stories, too.
This entire issue of being "hung-up" over being "hung" is really preposterous, yet it seems to impact our lives in so many different ways...like some hidden monster always lurking, constantly rearing its ugly head.
For many, it's deeply tormenting. --It has been for me.
Still occasionally, that 'ole mean monster STILL will surface in my deep inner core...thoughts of doubt, self-deprecation, low esteem, etc. I will admit that I'm not totally through with it. Others will scoff and have--but my spiritual faith has helped me immensely. Were it not for that, I probably would have "lost it". I have been close to the edge. If anyone ever needed counseling, I certainly did, especially in young adulthood!
I suppose I am (constantly) learning that life is really too short (and too precious) to have to live in a spiraling maze over my penis size. I CAN make a choice to try to do better. And, if I'm to really enjoy my remaining time left on this earth, I must make that concerted effort.
