Is a female a slut if....

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

You say "slut" like it's a bad thing.

 

[poomoz]

There is a huge double standard in our society no one would call a guy who had sex with 2 girls a slut would they!

Princess, discuss it with you boyfriend , if he is up for it enjoy, I have.

 

[B_quietguy]

The snarky definition of slut I've seen used is:
"A slut is somebody who had more sex partners than you. A prude is somebody who had fewer sex partners than you."

Somewhat different than another definition I've seen - a definition which says nothing about how many partner the person had.
"A slut is somebody who had more sex than you."

 

[B_quietguy]

Hello all! i wanted to know if you would consider a women a 'slut' or 'hoe' or 'tramp' if she wanted to do a 3some with 2 guys. ...
I don't think so, but I would like to try it. also how could I approach my boyfriend about it?

The term "slut" is often used by self-appointed moral guardians who just want to control the lives of others. A lot of these self-appointed moral guardians just say the word "slut" to insult people who have different values from them. Geez! How dare somebody not live by their values!

It's your life and your body. You get to choose what you want to do - and you don't need to worry what others think.

I say bring up the subject with your boyfriend and gage his reaction. You can bring it up obliquely or directly. Ask him what his fantasies are and see if MFM threesomes are among his desires. Offer to fulfill one of his fantasies if he does the same for you.

If your boyfriend has concerns about health issues, emotional entanglements, embarrasments, etc... then try to address these concerns as best you can before starting a threesome.

I've had many threesomes over the years - with many different partners. I've enjoyed each and every one without regrets. I hope you can look back on your MFM threesome with the same fond memories as I look back on mine.

 

[Moez???]

can you admit though that deep down your aversion towards it stems not from a character flaw on her part but from insecurity on your part? what exactly is it that makes you fear a woman who might desire that sort of encounter to the point of labeling her with something that is in fact quite stigmatizing?

You don't even know me aside from a few posts on an internet forum, yet you act like the only reason I have my opinion is my own insecurity?

I said, although not too clearly, that if a girl had done such events in her past, but had changed and no longer wanted to do those kind of things, I wouldn't care. If a girl wanted to do that while i was with her (or any other things that go along with an open relationship) It would be a flaw I could not connect with. What's the difference between a girl who has been with 100 guys in her past, or being with a guy while I'm with her? If I was insecure, her past would bother me just as much, right?

Regardless, I find over indulgence to be a very negative character aspect. if that's sex, drugs, food, partying, work, whatever. If someone puts too much focus on these things, it's a flaw to me, a flaw that I do not like. If a girl does that, it's her choice, it doesn't bother me, I don't care, I can't judge. Wanting multiple partners is hedonistic to me, and I don't want multiple partners, nor do i want a girl who does.

Regardless, I'm a guy who thinks sex is a very very emotional, significant link between 2 people. You can cheapen it by having sex with whatever you can. Or, as I prefer to do it, with a person significant in my life, who i deeply care for. I don't want another notch on my bed post, I want that deep connection.

these topics can be debated for a million posts, of people agreeing and disagreeing. but since you gave me a backhanded (...it was pretty direct though) insult, I guess you forced me to elaborate.

 

[hud01]

Yes. I wouldnt consider you one. But your next BF, Husband and majority of people would call you a slut. On this thread (which I haven't read past first page) I can guarantee people are telling you that you wouldn't be etc. Cause its a forum and their lying.

Basically slut is situational you cant really win. Lets say you fucked 10 guys your bf fucked 2 girls. He might think your a slut.

You are kidding aren't you? I have been with a girl who has had multiple threesomes, been in more than one threesome myself and would welcome that again. I'd really like a two couple night that way nobody spends any times being neglected.

I think a woman who is sexually open is hot.

If I had only been with 2 girls and my partner had been with 10 and she chose to sleep and stay with me after our first time, I see that as telling me that I was pretty good, or at least good enough.

I asked the first girl who was able to DT me how she learned to so it. Her answer was practice...... My response to that was to come back the next night and let her practice some more on me.

 

[hud01]

You say "slut" like it's a bad thing.

Best answer so far.

 

[hi_hi_hi_hello]

Haha, not a slut be a scandalous hoe! Lol jk, I've been in a few threesomes and one foursome actually, all had two guys present. The girls love it.... And I guess if that makes me a scandalous hoe too, then well... Fuck it =) it's all about moral fiber duh haha.

 

[B_quietguy]

If a girl wanted to do that while i was with her (or any other things that go along with an open relationship) It would be a flaw I could not connect with.

I just don't see the desire for an MFM threesome as a character flaw. Sounds more like somebody is adventurous and open-minded - hardly a character flaw.

Frankly, your post comes across as: "if somebody has different values/interests/sexual-desires than you, that means they are flawed".

 

[B_bi_mmf]

I just don't see the desire for an MFM threesome as a character flaw. Sounds more like somebody is adventurous and open-minded - hardly a character flaw.

Frankly, your post comes across as: "if somebody has different values/interests/sexual-desires than you, that means they are flawed".

Very well put. It is always worth listening when quietguy speaks up!

 

[lipollo]

It is all subjective.

Me personally considering the fact I am Greek and have very distinctive roles for men and women, i would say my gf is a slut.

But for someone who for example doesnt think about marriage and relationships in such a traditional fashion will find it enticing and that the women isnt doing anything except enjoy herself - something you cant be called a slut for.

 

[Moez???]

I just don't see the desire for an MFM threesome as a character flaw. Sounds more like somebody is adventurous and open-minded - hardly a character flaw.

Frankly, your post comes across as: "if somebody has different values/interests/sexual-desires than you, that means they are flawed".

I guess flaw wasn't a good term to use, but for what I look for in a relationship, it's a flaw in the relationship. There are great people out there, but you just don't connect to them, for whatever reason, right? It's just something about their personality that doesn't click with yours, and they might be a good friend, but you wouldn't want to be in relationship with them, right?

To me, a female wanting an open relationship, or wanting to be with 2 guys while with me, is something that would be a flaw in our relationship.

You say adventurous and open minded, I could say hedonistic and greedy. I won't, because I would be assuming that everyone in a threesome is hedonistic and greedy.

Personally, I find it dirty, and again, cheapening what could be a beautiful deep connection between 2 people. others disagree, and I don't mind, let them live their lives. But you saying someone who is in a threesome is adventurous and open minded implies that I am closed minded and not adventurous.

 

[hud01]

It is all subjective.

Me personally considering the fact I am Greek and have very distinctive roles for men and women, i would say my gf is a slut.

But for someone who for example doesnt think about marriage and relationships in such a traditional fashion will find it enticing and that the women isnt doing anything except enjoy herself - something you cant be called a slut for.

So you are Greek with an Irish symbol for an Avatar. Because you are "Greek" you have view of women which is based on logic from 50 to 1000 years ago.

 

[NotQuite_9x7]

Avoiding labels is just another way to avoiding accountability and taking responsibility for your behavior.

If you're rude to people, you're a jerk.

If you pick on people, you're a bully.

If you're a promiscuous woman, then by definition.. you're a slut.

The only way to avoid the label is to avoid the behavior.

 

[dolfette]

Avoiding labels is just another way to avoiding accountability and taking responsibility for your behavior.

If you're rude to people, you're a jerk.

If you pick on people, you're a bully.

If you're a promiscuous woman, then by definition.. you're a slut.

The only way to avoid the label is to avoid the behavior.

following your logic...

if you don't want to be called a nigger lover, don't be friends with black people.

if you don't want to be called a snitch, don't report rape.

if you don't want to be called a faggot, pretend to be straight.

...just because some judgemental bigot has created a label, doesn't mean we should just accept it. and it doesn't mean we should alter our behaviour.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

Just because guys pay my sister to have sex with them doesn't mean she's a whore. ;-)

 

[NotQuite_9x7]

following your logic...

if you don't want to be called a nigger lover, don't be friends with black people.

if you don't want to be called a snitch, don't report rape.

if you don't want to be called a faggot, pretend to be straight.

...just because some judgemental bigot has created a label, doesn't mean we should just accept it. and it doesn't mean we should alter our behaviour.

Geez, the mouth on this girl..

Anyway, even when you use extreme and derogatory language my logic still works.

If someone is labeled a n*****-lover, then I think to myself that they like and associate with black people and that the person labeling is more than likely racist.

If someone is labeled a slut I would think I personally would call her that, but she may sleep around and I don't think that I'd like to date her.

For better or for wosre, labels work.

 

[NotQuite_9x7]

Just because guys pay my sister to have sex with them doesn't mean she's a whore. ;-)

..good one.

 

[dolfette]

Geez, the mouth on this girl..

Anyway, even when you use extreme and derogatory language my logic still works.

If someone is labeled a n*****-lover, then I think to myself that they like and associate with black people and that the person labeling is more than likely racist.

If someone is labeled a slut I would think I personally would call her that, but she may sleep around and I don't think that I'd like to date her.

For better or for wosre, labels work.

and by that token,

when a man labels a woman a slut, my first assumption is that he knows she wouldn't touch him and he's bitter,
and/or that he's a mysogynist, scared of female sexuality.

so i guess it does work. your point!

 

[B_rfj]

Hello all! i wanted to know if you would consider a women a 'slut' or 'hoe' or 'tramp' if she wanted to do a 3some with 2 guys.

A man thinking about the same idea would be considered a perfectly normal male (after all having sex with 2 or 3 girls at the same time is the widest fantasy about males).

But since most (or many) men doesn't stand the idea of a woman (their girlfriend, for instance) having sex with more than a man they consider them "sluts".

You know, it's the same history. Women are supposed to not have sexual desires, they are suppossed to assume a pasive rol and letting boys simply do.

So for a man there's no problem in telling everybody he is horny and wants a good fuck right no.... but if a girl does this, then "slut" and "whore" are the kindest things she will ear.

Or simply read how some LPSG members describe the videos they post in Adult Website section: "black cock ON A WHORE", "tinny SLUT craving huge dick", "two BITCHES on a huge cock", etc.... etc....

When men watch those porn actors fucking they consider them the prototype of "Macho Macho maaaaaaaan".

But when they watch those videos and see the girls, they just see "BITCHES" "WHORES" and "SLUTS".

It might because many meen feel insecure with sexual active women. Maybe they are afraid of feeling inadequate.

Other example: women are suppossed to constantly hear and accept comments from males about how much they like some parts of women's anatomy like those gigantic breasts (mainly because of surgery), those round perfect asses, etc.... despite the fact that most girls don't have such spectacular bodies because they haven't undergone on surgery.

But women stating their preference for athletic muscular men or those ones with a big, think, long dick are also considered as sluts. Because a decent girl shouldn't pay attention to those details, because most men doesn't have atlethic bodies, because most men don't have big dick, etc, etc.

In our society there's no problem when a man express his sexual appetences but that's not the case with women.