Is a straight man who hooks up with another man really straight?

[328982]

Wait what? So bisexuality is ok with you? What about being curious/bicurious? What about a guy having sex with another guy not being straight but curious, bicurious or bisexual? Meaning that the kinsey scale doesn't even apply or has to apply?

Oh and i disagree. What ronin001 said was about as powerful a comment as they come, especially when talking about this very specific topic. Know thyself. If you can't correctly classify/understand your own actions then society (which is short for people) will find a way to dictate who you are for you. With the added bonus of not only getting it wrong but ripping down the groups you would normally be associated with. Having a domino effect of making things worse for everyone.

And for further clarification. Kinsey is a part of society. The only reason he seems to have any authority in this is because of...duh duh duhhhhhhhhhhhh labels.

Er, I have no problem with bisexuality in any form. I'd say I was on the gay end of bisexual myself - probably around a 4 on the Kinsey scale. I've had limited sexual experience with women, but certainly more than incidental, including a very important relationship to me. But most of my sexual and emotional energy is directed at men, or rather, a man.

I'm really not sure what you disagree with. I wasn't disparaging ronin001's post, if that's what you mean. We seem to be at cross-purposes. I'll leave it there - getting tired of this topic.

 

[deleted924715]

Er, I have no problem with bisexuality in any form. I'd say I was on the gay end of bisexual myself - probably around a 4 on the Kinsey scale. I've had limited sexual experience with women, but certainly more than incidental, including a very important relationship to me. But most of my sexual and emotional energy is directed at men, or rather, a man.

I'm really not sure what you disagree with. I wasn't disparaging ronin001's post, if that's what you mean. We seem to be at cross-purposes. I'll leave it there - getting tired of this topic.

No wine tonight? ;p

 

[328982]

Lol, sober as a judge!

 

[bigbull29]

I can never read anyone's thoughts. Someone can say they love are this or that, but how can I be sure when culture plays a big role in determining what we say and do.

If male homosexuality were not taboo in our culture, how would things be different?

Jumping on the defense to defend your sexuality is a cultural reaction more than anything else.

As I said, women don't go on long rants as to why they're 100% heterosexual. Something is different here between the sexes.

 

[328982]

I can never read anyone's thoughts. Someone can say they love are this or that, but how can I be sure when culture plays a big role in determining what we say and do.

If male homosexuality were not taboo in our culture, how would things be different?

Jumping on the defense to defend your sexuality is a cultural reaction more than anything else.

As I said, women don't go on long rants as to why they're 100% heterosexual. Something is different here between the sexes.

I agree with you. Women are much more relaxed about it, they can appreciate and compliment each other on their sexy pics etc and it doesn't reflect on their sexuality or femininity.

 

[deleted924715]

Here's the thing - IME we are rarely backed into a corner about it where we need to make any announcement at all

I've only been forced to emphatically declare my sexuality twice in my life (once at the top of my voice through a locked toilet door in a nightclub lol) and both times, the other party was very insistent about how much I'd like it.

I don't know if that's relevant or not, it's late...

 

[Doranq]

I don't bother defending my sexuality. If someone calls me gay or something. I just go with it and am all like "totally" , "I'm so fucking good, that's what they tell me" approach. *shrugs* I really don't give a shit about someone's extremely insignificant thoughts about me. It has no bearing on my life. In fact by going along with it, it tends to diffuse the situation much faster. Trolls get bored as they can't get their kicks from getting you riled up. Works online and in real life. Just say it like you have a sense of humor. Whether or not they believe you, ask yourself this. Who the fuck are they? Who the fuck are they in 200 years from now? Answer = nobody.

 

[billie22]

Hello, I've been a lurker here, but this thread, as well as a few others like it, makes me realise there are many people in similarly grey areas as me. Today i am a bit talkative, so I'm just gonna make a first post...
I think straight or not straight is a definition entrenched in tradition. Going down to basic motivators in humans, people enjoy physical pleasure, and also to reciprocate that pleasure, the only barrier is a psychological one set up by social norms, so the act of giving or receiving sexual favors from someone does not mean much about the person's sexuality.
Mentally, I believe it is entirely possible for 2 same sexed people to fall in love, even if both have absolutely zero interest in the same sex, eg love through internet chatting...
However, a person's sexuality would be an issue that is determined by how attracted he or she is to different body parts and behavior, as well as what sort of role he/she prefers to be in a relationship, and what sort of role expected of the other person.
Combine all of this, plus the pressure of upbringing and societal norms, and you get a "straight" person if the other person happens to be the opposite sex.

For myself... I am obsessed with the male body, big cocks and balls, I want to touch them and have them myself, thus I am a gymrat, practise PE, and will also discreetly observe other men in the sauna a lot.

I appreciate a blow job or hand job or giving a hand job back, and enjoy candid conversations about everything under the sun without having to worry about what the other person might think of me,
I would love a long term friendly relationship with a hot guy in this way,
but a romantic relationship with a guy, kissing, or anal sex does not appeal to me at all.

On the other hand, beautiful women sets a twinge in my heart when i see them, it's different from seeing hot guys. With hot guys, I can't stop looking, I'm envious, jealous, want to know what's in his pants, wonder how he gets that way. With beautiful women, i want to get to know them, they are like an incredible art i keep thinking about and fantasize how it would be like having romantic exchanges with them. But comes to sex, I like the idea penetration into pussies provided it's a really pretty pussy, but I am not strongly aroused by voluptuous female bodies, much less anything lesser. It's like mentally I'm interested, but physically, my cock doesn't know how to react...

Anyway, as a result, i am turned on by male solo scenes provided the guy is good looking, muscular and hung. Straight porn as well, provided the camera focuses enough on the guy who has to be hung and muscular and goodlooking, the girl is fit, has a sweet face and has a pretty pussy. Unfortunately there aren't enough straight porn videos like that, so i typical watch straight guy solos instead.

Gay or lesbian sex doesn't appeal to me at all.
Oh, and i identify strongly as male, i do not want to become a female at all

 

[hornygymkid]

The opposite question is:
Can a gay man really be called gay if he never had any sex with another man?
I think I'm bisexual but I've never done anything sexual with a man. I feel I have no credibility to come out because I haven't even tried it yet. I'm a college guy living with a girlfriend. I'm turned on by her but I can also jerk off to gay porn. Must I act on my homosexual urges before I can call myself bi?

 

[luv2watchdick]

The opposite question is:
Can a gay man really be called gay if he never had any sex with another man?
I think I'm bisexual but I've never done anything sexual with a man. I feel I have no credibility to come out because I haven't even tried it yet. I'm a college guy living with a girlfriend. I'm turned on by her but I can also jerk off to gay porn. Must I act on my homosexual urges before I can call myself bi?

Not etched in stone, I suppose in order to be Bi you would have to have the desire to engage sexually with both sexes.
Yes, a gay man can be gay if he never had sex with a man because of the 'desire' to sleep with or engage in 'activities' with them

 

[deleted15807]

As I said, women don't go on long rants as to why they're 100% heterosexual. Something is different here between the sexes.

Apparently "male" heterosexuality vs. "female" heterosexuality are very different beasts. One apparently must be emphatically reaffirmed daily vs. the other which is comfortable just living their orientation without fear or doubt and daily declarations.

 

[temptotalk]

Apparently "male" heterosexuality vs. "female" heterosexuality are very different beasts. One apparently must be emphatically reaffirmed daily vs. the other which is comfortable just living their orientation without fear or doubt and daily declarations.

Yeah sorry but thats the intellectual equivalent to "stop hitting yourself". Heterosexuals did not bring up this issue. Men wanting to be called heterosexual while they engaging in sex with other men brought this up. What you're doing is attempting to shame a person for defending who they are. In essence trying to silence their opinion. Which i might add (with regards to this specific topic) is the reason the assholes talking about political correctness have a point.

To reiterate their point. People don't even know the meaning of words. Sexuality as a label is something that denotes a person's sexual preferences, desires and what have you. So a guy who has sex with or desires sexual relations with both sexes fits bisexuality to a tee.

To imply that there's something wrong with defending who you are is just plain wrong. Doing so after someone else threw the first metaphorical punch is well...i can understand why conservatives get so annoyed with liberals.

And when it comes to women. Yes they do have to defend their sexuality daily. The definition of what their sexuality means. Men try to imply all sorts of things about a woman's sexual availability all the time...day in and day out. As in "you're dressed in a certain way so that means your sexuality means available". Sound familiar? Men wanting to redefine someone else's sexual definition so it better suits their ideal while having no real basis in reality. Now it isn't a 100% point for point reference but now that i put it like that how many men attempt to change the definition of a person's sexuality on a regular day to day basis? Yeah.

 

[deleted15807]

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much"

 

[bwhip1011]

I'm not too sure. But, I have a hat in which I can select a label at random.

 

[deleted15807]

Here's the thing - IME we are rarely backed into a corner about it where we need to make any announcement at all

I've only been forced to emphatically declare my sexuality twice in my life (once at the top of my voice through a locked toilet door in a nightclub lol) and both times, the other party was very insistent about how much I'd like it.

I don't know if that's relevant or not, it's late...

How is this any different from an asshole guy doing the same? The same skill set needed to dispatch a him would the same as a her.

 

[deleted924715]

How is this any different from an asshole guy doing the same? The same skill set needed to dispatch a him would the same as a her.

Doing the same what? I'm not sure what you're getting at. My point was that I'm in my 30s now and as a straight woman have only been in a position where I felt the need to emphatically state my sexuality twice. Ever. From what some of the straight guys are saying, this doesn't appear to be the same for them.

 

[temptotalk]

Doing the same what? I'm not sure what you're getting at. My point was that I'm in my 30s now and as a straight woman have only been in a position where I felt the need to emphatically state my sexuality twice. Ever. From what some of the straight guys are saying, this doesn't appear to be the same for them.

Yeah the only place i've ever had to do as much is here....on lpsg. Emphatically that is. Never had to do that in real life at all. People have suspected or thought but i've never had to defend my sexuality until this website and more over...this very specific topic.

And i'm guessing if this thread and threads like it were never created in the first place along with the resulting "everybody's a little gay"/"straight doesn't existness" i wouldn't even be commenting on it. Wouldn't have to. Thats the nature of the thing.

 

[deleted15807]

Doing the same what?

Sexual harassment isn't orientation specific and how to deal with it.

 

[deleted924715]

Sexual harassment isn't orientation specific and how to deal with it.

I have no clue what conversation you are trying to have, so I'll have to bow out because it's seemingly one-sided.

 

[deleted15807]

I have no clue what conversation you are trying to have, so I'll have to bow out because it's seemingly one-sided.

Well that's good since it's not really been a conversation as you've just rephrased your original post without ever answering my question.