Is being used for sex always hurtful?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by vibratingfinger, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. vibratingfinger

    vibratingfinger New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    US of Jesusfreaks
    If the guy gives you the impression that there is more potential and disappears as soon as sex is over, is it really hurtful? I mean shouldn't you be relieved that the asshole is gone? Would you really want anything to do with him if he tries to fool you right from the beginning? Why should being used be hurtful anyway?

    It seems to me women don't pull this shit on men as much as men do. I know women use men purely for sex as well but if that happens to men they usually take it as a compliment if it's an ongoing thing. Is it because men are retarded, shallow or what? And why do we assume that when women disappear after sex it always mean the sex was sloppy.
     
  2. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Women disappear after sex?:confused: What do you mean by sloppy? :confused:
     
  3. vibratingfinger

    vibratingfinger New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    US of Jesusfreaks
    The reason I ask why should it be hurtful is because in the end all that happened was sex. Sex isn't a bad thing. Just cuz he left that doesn't mean the sex was necessarily bad. She probably got a few free meals out of it as well, not that few meals are anything. But many men would be thrilled if a woman randomly fucked them never to be seen or heard of again. What I meant by that last question is if she only wanted him for sex and never shows up again, does that have to mean that the sex was bad? I don't think so.
     
  4. viking1

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2006
    Messages:
    4,706
    Likes Received:
    5
    I wouldn't know. I've never been used for sex...
     
  5. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm gonna make up a statistic and say 8 out of 10 women need to be in love to have sex with a man. Whereas, only 1 out of every 10 men needs to be in love to have sex with a woman.

    Now let's say date #3, #5, or whatever the # date you fuck on arrives and the woman isn't in love. The fact she has been on more than one date with you means she really likes the guy; and assuming it's been a while maybe she thinks love will come in time.

    The thing you seem to be completely unaware of :eek: is that for the majority of women on the planet we actually need to be in love to have sex.

     
  6. vibratingfinger

    vibratingfinger New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    US of Jesusfreaks
    It's not that I'm not aware of it that women like to be in love njqt, I'm just questioning whether it has to be that way. Women complain about double standards when it comes to sex and the labels that gets attached to them, but when you say love is a requirement for women it only reinforces those beliefs. Whatever happened to fuck buddies? Why can't women lust for good looking, hung, or whatever kind men without wanting the emotional connection? I just don't believe they don't experience the same feelings that us guys have when we see hot women. But men somehow seem more willing to go the full distance without wanting to know anything about her other than how she looks when she's fucking. Not that I'm complaining. btw I wouldn't want the reverse to be honest.
     
  7. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    LMAO thought not. :biggrin1: Maybe the reason more women don't slut around like men is more primal. One of my gf's thought it was because for women sex is all internal. We literally take you into us, which automatically makes any sexual act more intimate.
     
  8. Mr. Snakey

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Messages:
    24,702
    Likes Received:
    25
    very interesting and so true.:cool:
     
  9. TheRob

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2007
    Messages:
    5,011
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    665
    I dunno the idea of sex with some girls is pretty intimate to me
    but my question is, why can't we just cuddle
     
  10. snoozan

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2006
    Messages:
    3,568
    Likes Received:
    4
    I really, honestly don't have to be in love to have sex with a man. Lust, yes, though I've had sex with men for other stupid reasons than love or lust. The interesting thing is that many times I've had sex with men in a casual situation and it seemed like just by virtue of having sex with the man a few times I started have loving feelings for him.

    TBH, I've had some really good sex that was good because it was completely no strings attached and I knew I'd never see the guy again.

    But this was all in my late teens and early 20s and I was pretty reckless sexually by most standards.
     
  11. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    This is one of the ways in which I am very much traditionally male, and have been told (by a guy I actually was involved with for a long time) that I was a gay man in a woman's body! I found that kind of amusing... I relate well to the character Samantha in Sex and the City... :)
     
  12. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    As was I at that age. :biggrin1:
     
  13. No_Strings

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,100
    Likes Received:
    6
    You're too kind. :redface:


    I think it only hurts if one is unaware of the situation beforehand. If both aprties go into it with full knowledge of what it's for, it's fair game. Jus' my take. (Havng never been used, or used someone else, for sex myself.)
     
  14. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2006
    Messages:
    4,005
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Boston,Mass.
    The only way I like to have sex with someone I don't know
    is if I'm "working". As in sex for a fee.
    I would guess this could, put women on equal footing with men,as least it did for me. I'm letting them use me for sex,and if I choose,I can let myself "get off". Although I almost never did that,{get off} there were a few guys
    whom I considered friends. I also fell in love with one of these guys and married him,unfortunately, he was much younger than me,and though I am not usually, attracted to young men,this one was so naive,I took on the role of "teacher" for the lewd acts,which he and I loved! What a lover he turned out to be! My point is guys routinely, have sex with women knowing they might be expecting more,but fail to make this clear to the woman,so for me this was the ideal job,for a little while. I got to be "like a man" buying things.:naughty:
    cigarbabe:saevilw:
     
  15. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    The operative word here being "used", N_S is right. If both people decide what they want and act upon it, that's being an adult. There are men who lead women to believe they want more and there are women who delude themselves into thinking something exists when it doesn't. That's when people start feeling used. I think it's shitty when men lie or convince a woman they want more than sex and hightail it out of the bedroom once they're finished with the sex. I also think women who need intimacy and can't have sex without a relationship should probably wait to have sex until they can determine if the guy they're dating also wants a relationship, not just a roll in the hay. Otherwise they're not being honest with themselves.

    I don't think women are naturally more commitment-oriented than men. Even if they are I think each sex approaches it a bit differently but that's all. I've had sex without commitment involved and it was fun but I didn't think for a moment it meant something when it didn't. People get hurt when they don't put all their cards on the table, discuss their expectations, and aren't honest about their needs and desires.
     
  16. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2006
    Messages:
    6,378
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    where the sun never sets
    There are a few ladies here who may use me for sex if they'd like, I won't mind.
     
  17. B_Swimming Lad

    B_Swimming Lad New Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    744
    Likes Received:
    5
    Its only hurtful if you get nothing out of it.
     
  18. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,661
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Windsor, Ontario
    I truly think it is a misconception that most women need to be in love or feel an emotional attachment in order to have sex.

    I think being told that from an early age, taught men are pigs for wanting sex all the time, made most women turn off the natural sexual impulses. Because if men are pigs for having lots of sex and only wanting sex, what would that make a woman who wanted the same thing? A whore. Double standard.

    There are not as many differences between the genders sex-wise as most think. I think society has made women believe we are not as sexual as men. There is a lot of new information (and old) that blows this theory out of the water.
     
  19. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,661
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Windsor, Ontario
    I need to make myself clearer.

    Women are taught to be careful of men because they are pigs, all they want is sex. What if all a woman wants is sex? Then it makes her a whore.

    Women are taught sex is bad, something to be ashamed of. Something to "put up with" once you're married. If you enjoy sex and seek it out, you're a slut.

    Sex is beautiful, whether it is making love tenderly or hot, sweaty, primal sex. Too bad we weren't taught THAT!
     
  20. wonderland

    wonderland Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Illinois
    Being used for anything is hurtful.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted