Is being used for sex always hurtful?

[whatireallywant]

I truly think it is a misconception that most women need to be in love or feel an emotional attachment in order to have sex.

I think being told that from an early age, taught men are pigs for wanting sex all the time, made most women turn off the natural sexual impulses. Because if men are pigs for having lots of sex and only wanting sex, what would that make a woman who wanted the same thing? A whore. Double standard.

There are not as many differences between the genders sex-wise as most think. I think society has made women believe we are not as sexual as men. There is a lot of new information (and old) that blows this theory out of the water.

YAY!!!!! I definitely agree! In fact, one of my main hot buttons is the whole gender stereotype/biological determinism thing...

Interestingly, I was raised probably like most women are, as far as what I was told about sex, but just didn't agree with what I was being told. :biggrin1: So much so that when I was younger I wondered why other people were so completely different in their thinking than I was.

Now, I do know that not everyone thinks like I do and I have to keep quiet about certain things with most people so I won't be called names and shunned. I have recently dabbled in the swingers lifestyle (went to a party tonight, in fact!), and I feel a lot freer there, where I can be more myself, but at the same time, be safe. I know that there are a lot of psychos out there and I do take precautions against that.

That said, I am also open to a serious relationship if someone compatible should come along. I am open to all the possibilities...

 

[ZOS23xy]

I have been used for sex, and what I often get out of it is an ego boost. Being nice enough for someone to want me even if I'd never see them again.

Or the short frustrating affair.

What is gotten out of this? I know I have feelings.

What of the women who do this? Some are very nice indeed, and one of them was just someone who was a friend who wanted me to remember her with something to smile about. (She was moving.)

 

[Jovial]

The thing you seem to be completely unaware of is that for the majority of women on the planet we actually need to be in love to have sex.

That begs the question, does the man have to be in love with her for her to have sex with him?

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

If either party is under the notion that it will lead to more then Yes it is very hurtful to find out you have been used. But if bother parties agree that it is ONLY sex then no, both are using and being used to satisfy their needs

 

[whatireallywant]

If either party is under the notion that it will lead to more then Yes it is very hurtful to find out you have been used. But if bother parties agree that it is ONLY sex then no, both are using and being used to satisfy their needs

That's the way I think of it as well.

 

[thebigO]

I've never been used for sex but I have read "Unhooked" by Laura Sessions Stepp, probably the best one I've read so far regarding the sexual hookups that females use with guys. Personally I think it's due to social attitudes towards sex that separates the genders.

 

[thebigO]

Sorry I forgot to add, also because sex has different consequences for females than for males (obviously) that can have stronger emotional impacts on females than males.