Is cam bad?

Discussion in 'Webcams / Cyber Connections' started by mike_smith1899, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. mike_smith1899

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    Hi all,

    Just wanted to hear your thoughts on the 'ethics' of webcam sex:)

    Married here and not getting enough of what I would call exciting sex. Love the wife, sexy body but absolutely no interest in fun sex.

    I love to cam for anyone and achieve some fantastic orgasms with some great people. Almost recaptures the feeling I would get as a teenager and first started to explore :)

    My question is, what do you guys feel about webcam sex and hiding it from your partner? For me it is a great release, doesn't hurt anyone and I treat it as a more 'social' form of porn.

    Mike.
     
  2. Uber_mensch

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    Hi, Mike

    I'm currently single and have never been married or in long-time relationship. So I can't comment on that. I will be following up this thread.
     
  3. Water dragon

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    I am do camming with a guy overseas for 9 months now; we jerk off together and he has a boyfriend. He told his boyfriend about it and the bf is fine with it since I am over 1000km away and we both drew the line at cam only so it's just for a good form of releasing steam with a familiar face, with similar interests.

    As long there are rules in place and honesty with your partner.

    However if it's just a random jerk off with a stranger on a one time basis and not forming a fuck‑buddy relationship like I did then I see no reason to tell your partner. Just because 2 people are getting it off instead of 1; separated by layers of concrete and kilometres.

    I see no problem. No harm. No foul.
     
  4. Uber_mensch

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    I agree that establishing limits and rules is the key!

    Water dragon,

    I am also looking for a familiar face to jerk off on a regular basis. lol. PM if you are interested. Don't have a bf now, but I am miles away from you. Nice pics BTW.
     
  5. mike_smith1899

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    Yes, I agree. I just use it as interactive porn. Would rather get the wife involved but if she is not into sex then so be it :)
     
  6. B_jasonbig

    B_jasonbig New Member

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    I'd personally call it cheating
     
  7. Kotchanski

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    As a wife, I would personally have far less of an issue with porn.

    Cams involve another person, a real person with the potential for contact (via email, PM, or in person) where as porn is just people on a screen doing stuff.

    My husband watches porn, as do I, sometimes together, sometimes apart and neither one of us has an issue with this. If either of us were to start camming however, this could cause issues.

    The fact that you feel the need to hide this, says categorically that you feel this is something she'd find unacceptable and as such dictates it is cheating.
     
  8. PinkSteel

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    Same boat here. I look at it as 1 step beyond masturbation by yourself. No commitments just 2 people getting off watching each other. Actually I used to have almost more real lust thoughts with my eyes closed as a teenager while wackin it.
     
  9. Bbucko

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    This is actually fascinating to me.

    I disagree on the concept of mutually-watched masturbation as cheating in theory. However, I have to agree that if there's an activity that triggers shame and provokes a feeling of needing to hide something, then it's unhealthy in a truly adult relationship.

    My most recent ex considered my watching porn and jerking off as a form of cheating, inasmuch as it involved sexualized activity from which he felt excluded (and he certainly wasn't included, so I recognized his point while dismissing the premise as flawed).

    Let's just say that I've learned enough from my mistakes to no longer want anything to do with such a restrictive outside attitude dictating my life (and pursuit of pleasure).
     
  10. mike_smith1899

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    Thanks for the comments :)
     
  11. wappingite

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    I don't have a problem with it from an ethical issue, but I haven't engaged in cammiing for years now. I don't consider it cheating as there person is effectively unknown and there is no physical contact. If you start to develop a dialogue with the individual as your primary chat fuck buddy, then that perhaps crosses a line into something more emotional.

    Anyway, I quit more over issues of privacy and security. You don't really know who is on the other end, their location, their age, anything about them...depsite what their profile info or tag line says. Just assume each time you're camming that you are being recorded. Carefully consider if you are going to show your face or any distinguishing features in your camming environment. A video of you wanking and cumming posted on X-tube suddenly becomes a much bigger deal than if it's "cheating or not".

    Just sayin'
     
  12. mike_smith1899

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    Couldn't agree more!

    Personally, I never show face. I would like to but as you say it is impossible to be sure you are not recorded etc.

    As long as I do not plan to meet anyone for real I then I am ok with it. I hope I never get so old that seeing an attractive person does not turn my head. I would never cheat on my wife but hope I can always maintain an interest in sex :)
     
  13. bimetaldude

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    Well, I met my guy on yahoo cams in 20000 and we met last year in May and have been having a great time. He failed to mention other cam sites he used and I found out on my own. I still do not know why he did not tell me and I was pretty butt hurt over it for a while. He still cams and talks to random guys as well as me. So I came to the conclusion that it is harmless because he is not meeting guys for sex and just showing off on cam.

    But I will always still feel that he should have told me...
     
  14. rustre59

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    Hi Mike,

    I was in a similar situation with my ex-wife. I'm a very horny guy...24x7 and she showed very little interest in sex. I found camming a great release that allowed me to stay faithful until we finally decided it would be better to go our own ways. I've never been ashamed of the fact that I love camming and never thought of it as cheating. I kept it from my wife cause I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

    I still enjoy camming a lot and do it every chance I get. Good Luck!
     
  15. booklvr06

    booklvr06 Well-Known Member

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    I think it's all about trust and communication. My partner and I discussed it, set some boundaries for when we do it on our own and therefore enjoy it as a little fantasy/extra to our sex life.
     
  16. rustre59

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    That's great! I think it all depends on your partner and how receptive and open they are sexually.
     
  17. Otep

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    I view it as cheating both in theory and in practice. I agree with others who have said that if you are keeping it a secret then you clearly have some shame associated with it and know that it's wrong.

    I can't buy into the whole "it doesn't count as cheating because they aren't there in the room with you" concept. To me it sounds like something you would convince yourself to believe so that you can justify your actions. These are not people who are getting paid to entertain you. Regardless of the computer you are having a sexual connection and encounter with another person. Some other person is looking at you, getting turned on by you and masturbating while you're doing the same. To me it's no different than if you did it in person with a random stranger. I don't think many would argue that masturbating with another person, in person, isn't cheating if there isn't any physical contact. It's essentially the exact same thing except you couldn't reach out and touch them if you tried.

    This is made all the more true by the quality of webcams these days. If you remove the physical contact possibility there isn't much of a difference between jacking off with someone online and doing it in a sauna with someone (or something similar).

    Just to note, I'm referring to one on one cam sessions between two people. I would place just showing off so others can watch in a different category and wouldn't necessarily view it as cheating.
     
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