Is Dating Fun?

wallyj84

Superior Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Posts
7,023
Media
0
Likes
3,957
Points
333
Location
United States
Do you find dating to be fun?

As some of you know, I like to watch MRA/MGTOW videos on youtube. I just think they're funny and occasionally they make an interesting point. One I watched today made the claim that dating just isn't fun for men because at the end of the day it's work. I thought about this for a second and couldn't really disagree. In fact looking back on my life, I stopped dating mostly because it felt like work. Work that didn't really get me anything worth the effort I was putting into it.

What Do you guys think? Is dating fun for you? Do you enjoy it or is it just this thing you put up with to get other things like sex, affection or companionship?
 
  • Like
Reactions: ColonelLingus

IntactMale

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 29, 2006
Posts
2,757
Media
17
Likes
7,907
Points
493
Location
Asheville (North Carolina, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
I think if you're dating someone and it feels like work then you're dating the wrong person. If it feels that way then that should be an indicator that its not going to work out, otherwise your entire relationship will feel like work. Chances are it will feel like work to date most people.

If you can find someone to date where it doesn't feel like work then you're likely to both have a better time together and be able to form an actual relationship. And if that relationship starts to feel like work then that's a sign that its nearing its end.

I'm talking about dating in pursuit of a relationship. If you are dating in pursuit of sex, then yeah, you're going to feel like you're doing work more often.
 

marriedasian

Legendary Member
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Posts
1,578
Media
1
Likes
2,021
Points
343
Location
Wisconsin (United States)
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
dating used to be fun and enjoyable. in today's age of social media, cellphones, instagram, online hookups, likes, and whatnot, the dating battlefield has changed greatly for both men and women. not to mention new laws and antics, as well as dating expectations.

i personally love watching MRA and MGTOW videos on youtube as it gives me perspective on why people are the way they are. do i agree with these groups?... yes and no. some points are very valid and some are just off the wall crazy... but i do step back and have to acknowledge that these people are voicing their opinions on their own life experiences.

for example, if some guy had bad luck with women all his life for whatever reason (his fault, her fault, social norms, etc.) then he will have a perspective of women as being "blood-sucking whores who don't deserve shit" while the next guy who grew up differently will be one of the guys supporting the 3rd wave of the feminist movement... i digress... you get my point? since i'm very open-minded, i love to watch MRA and MGTOW videos so that i learn more but not necessarily to become one.

here's my take on dating... if you meet a woke male or female in today's society, dating will be super-hard. they will have full knowledge of the playing field and will play you head on with that knowledge. what i mean is any man or woman who has swallowed the red pill. now if you meet a non-woke male or female in today's society, then dating should be rather enjoyable or at the least tolerable because these men and women do not know how to play the field yet and are still living in the "lovey-dovey neverland" world. some never make it out of there and actually live out a beautiful life in that world (and that's freakin awesome if i may say so). the danger with non-woke partners is when they wake up and throw your ass to the curb if you are not prepared.

my advice to guys is to be careful. woke women will not hesitate to lie and throw you in jail for rape, attack, abuse, or whatever that never happened just because you didn't treat her the way she wanted or turned her down for sex when she offered, or she won't hesitate to drop you for the next better guy, or she won't hesitate to marry you for your money, wealth, and success to divorce you shortly thereafter. it gets even worse when she decides to go psycho-bitch on you...

my advice to the ladies is to be careful. woke men will more than likely chase younger women and/or will drop you once you get "too old" for his liking. no matter how beautiful you are, it won't work on woke men. that beauty charm that you can cast over thirsty males will have zero effect on these men. sure it will attract them but the charm spell will never take hold. they will hang around to fuck you then most likely leave. they will never marry you and they will probably guard themselves til they die. the more money, success, and wealth they have, the harder it will be for you to date them and/or become of any worth to them. this does not mean they are bad men, they're just not boyfriend/husband material and you are wasting your time if you are looking for anything more than a "good time".

wow, i wrote a lot. it took me a long time to find my wife. both my wife and i would be considered "woke". we both are red-pilled, per se. i think the reason we work well is that i know she "wants" to be with me and she knows that i "want" to be with her and that at any moment, either of us can pull the plug anytime. we also compliment each other and never stop bettering ourselves for each other. we don't play dating games and we're dead honest with each other. lastly, i can't speak for her, but i know that as an entire "package", i have not found anything out there better than my wife, hence i married her; and i would like to think she feels the same for me but who knows... she brings me joy and fills in the missing spaces in my life so for now, it works and i'm happy for it.

could it change tomorrow, hell yes it can, and i'm under no illusion that tomorrow may be the day... and if it comes to pass, i'm okay with it. :)
 

wallyj84

Superior Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Posts
7,023
Media
0
Likes
3,957
Points
333
Location
United States
I think if you're dating someone and it feels like work then you're dating the wrong person. If it feels that way then that should be an indicator that its not going to work out, otherwise your entire relationship will feel like work. Chances are it will feel like work to date most people.

If you can find someone to date where it doesn't feel like work then you're likely to both have a better time together and be able to form an actual relationship. And if that relationship starts to feel like work then that's a sign that its nearing its end.

I'm talking about dating in pursuit of a relationship. If you are dating in pursuit of sex, then yeah, you're going to feel like you're doing work more often.

I think it is less about if you're pursuing a relationship versus sex and more about how much you enjoy "dating activities".

If you want a relationship but find the process of planning a date and going out tiring then you'll look at dating as work. If you like going out and doing things with other people, even if you're only pursuing sex you won't consider dating work.

That is my opinion at least.
 
1

1543042

Guest
I think if you're dating someone and it feels like work then you're dating the wrong person. If it feels that way then that should be an indicator that its not going to work out, otherwise your entire relationship will feel like work. Chances are it will feel like work to date most people.

If you can find someone to date where it doesn't feel like work then you're likely to both have a better time together and be able to form an actual relationship. And if that relationship starts to feel like work then that's a sign that its nearing its end.

I'm talking about dating in pursuit of a relationship. If you are dating in pursuit of sex, then yeah, you're going to feel like you're doing work more often.

It's been a very long time since I dated, but, if memory serves, this post comports 100% with my experience.

Acting to me was/ is work. If I didn't have to act it MIGHT be the right person or I might have been under a delusion about who that person is because they were acting.

From listening to other men about dating, it appeared that they enjoyed the chase including the necessary acting that entailed.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AlteredEgo
3

328982

Guest
Do you find dating to be fun?

As some of you know, I like to watch MRA/MGTOW videos on youtube. I just think they're funny and occasionally they make an interesting point. One I watched today made the claim that dating just isn't fun for men because at the end of the day it's work. I thought about this for a second and couldn't really disagree. In fact looking back on my life, I stopped dating mostly because it felt like work. Work that didn't really get me anything worth the effort I was putting into it.

What Do you guys think? Is dating fun for you? Do you enjoy it or is it just this thing you put up with to get other things like sex, affection or companionship?
Not really, more like a nerve-wracking strain. But I did meet my partner on a blind date so that was worth it.
 

wallyj84

Superior Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Posts
7,023
Media
0
Likes
3,957
Points
333
Location
United States
Nope...I love dating....but am pretty much a classic extrovert

I like meeting new people...and I don't "work"

Usually it's a fun activity that I wanted to do anyway.....now a just got a running partner to do it with

And that is the difference.

For me, dating means doing things that I wouldn't have done otherwise like going hiking or to a sporting event. When I was dating I didn't mind doing these things because they were new experiences and I honestly enjoyed them sometimes even if I had no interest in doing them again. As I've gotten older though I've become more set in my ways and less interested in doing new things. I think that has really killed dating for me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AlteredEgo

sodominsane

Legendary Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2010
Posts
1,669
Media
0
Likes
2,309
Points
268
Location
ny
I think you are spot on here.....dateing is more of a chore when you are pretending to be who you are not...

Now also i will say that I have a varied range of intrests.....and when I pick a date activity....I tailor it to who I'm going out with......I am not gonna take someone who has a knee problem out hiking the gorge.....or someone with zero in intrest in art to a sketching class
 

EllieP

Worshipped Member
Gold
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Posts
9,923
Media
4
Likes
22,055
Points
318
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Dating is stressful if you make it stressful. Period. I've been on some anxious dates before that became work. Fortunately, those were in a very small minority.

I have absolutely no idea what woke means, so I'm not even going to comment, but I'm taking it as a negative connotation. I'll just say this: if your agendas don't match then maybe you shouldn't be dating each other.

Also, if you're in a stable long-term relationship and you're no longer dating then shame on you! Dating doesn't have an end goal. You should never stop dating. That leads to staleness.

There are so many types of dates, first, discovery, necessity (think weddings, reunions; yes, I've done that), pure fun, serious, and finally maintenance. Of course, there are so many more, and I hate making it sound so clinical, but maintenance is real and necessary. Leave that bearing ungreased for too long and you'll probably hear a grinding noise. And once that bearing is gone it will need to be replaced. And usually that's at a great cost.
 

wallyj84

Superior Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Posts
7,023
Media
0
Likes
3,957
Points
333
Location
United States
Dating is stressful if you make it stressful. Period. I've been on some anxious dates before that became work. Fortunately, those were in a very small minority.

I have absolutely no idea what woke means, so I'm not even going to comment, but I'm taking it as a negative connotation. I'll just say this: if your agendas don't match then maybe you shouldn't be dating each other.

Also, if you're in a stable long-term relationship and you're no longer dating then shame on you! Dating doesn't have an end goal. You should never stop dating. That leads to staleness.

There are so many types of dates, first, discovery, necessity (think weddings, reunions; yes, I've done that), pure fun, serious, and finally maintenance. Of course, there are so many more, and I hate making it sound so clinical, but maintenance is real and necessary. Leave that bearing ungreased for too long and you'll probably hear a grinding noise. And once that bearing is gone it will need to be replaced. And usually that's at a great cost.

I don't mean stressful.

In the video I was watching, I don't want to link to it, they talked about the effort that goes into a date. The planning, grooming, etc. All of that takes effort that you wouldn't be doing otherwise and depending on your personality might not be at all enjoyable. That is what I mean by work.
 

marriedasian

Legendary Member
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Posts
1,578
Media
1
Likes
2,021
Points
343
Location
Wisconsin (United States)
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
Using the word "woke" appears to me to be a method of intimidating people into accepting your ideology or worldview without subjecting it to explicit explanation and examination.

Opposing factions use other words for the same effect.

I would like to hope that people can think for themselves and not get intimidated at all. I would always encourage people to never take my words for it and go do a little research on their own. Why would you even begin to believe anything anyone says, especially on the internet.

I would love to quantify my viewpoint for explanation but it would get too long for a read on here and most would ignore it for that fact alone.

Be open-minded enough to take a moment to learn where that person is coming from otherwise you automatically think that person is trying to pass their ideology onto you when they are simply sharing.
 

LaFemme

Mythical Member
Staff
Moderator
Verified
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Aug 16, 2010
Posts
40,783
Media
2
Likes
38,876
Points
743
Location
Canada
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
It can be fun. Sure getting dressed up and the whole bit is “work” but if I like someone, that’s exciting. It only feels like a hardship if I’m iffy on the guy. Dating is an opportunity to try new things, explore someone and do things together. It can be a lot of fun.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Enid and AlteredEgo

Phil Ayesho

Superior Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2008
Posts
6,189
Media
0
Likes
2,789
Points
333
Location
San Diego
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
When there is a spark and a connection and some heat- dating is the funnest thing ever-
Exploring each other- both dressed in your best spending money on something fun...

As others have said- if it feel like work, then you are either dating the wrong people- or, I would add, you're just a lazy and self absorbed person who has no real interest in who another person is.


However- on another tack- now that I have been single for 3 years and haven't dated in 2 years, I have noticed an unusual change in my perspective.
This is the longest times I have ever gone without a woman in my life telling me I am wrong for something I do, say, or think.

i'm getting used to it.


But the thing about dating... that's when she thinks the world of you- before the critiquing begins- and that acceptance of who you are and reveling in who she is is what makes it fun.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sangheili90
1

1543042

Guest
I would like to hope that people can think for themselves and not get intimidated at all. I would always encourage people to never take my words for it and go do a little research on their own. Why would you even begin to believe anything anyone says, especially on the internet.

I would love to quantify my viewpoint for explanation but it would get too long for a read on here and most would ignore it for that fact alone.

Be open-minded enough to take a moment to learn where that person is coming from otherwise you automatically think that person is trying to pass their ideology onto you when they are simply sharing.

Telling someone they are woke implies they are asleep. An intimidating insult.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AlteredEgo

Gj816

Mythical Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Posts
7,278
Media
86
Likes
26,395
Points
333
Location
Nashville (Tennessee, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Male
Dating doesn't have to be work.

I enjoy dating. I enjoy meeting new people. But I have the gift of gab. I never really met a stranger.

Of course the end game isn't always to get her in bed. It's great if it happens, but it's not the end all be all.

There is more to dating than sex. Although as a man that is very important. There's enjoying each other's company. Having dinner and drinks and maybe sharing a dessert.

There is companionship, finding out our compatibility. Likes and dislikes. Expectations/ goals for the near future.

Some couples I know have dated each other for years and never married for whatever reason. They continue to date.

I'm not interested in getting married but I do enjoy dating.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ohiorod

mako shark

Superior Member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Posts
4,277
Media
2
Likes
2,747
Points
358
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
No interest in "dating" again. as it is too much of a game. Don't mind going out, hanging, and traveling with my male and female friends I don't enjoy the thrill of the hunt one bit.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BigBadWolf84

marriedasian

Legendary Member
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Posts
1,578
Media
1
Likes
2,021
Points
343
Location
Wisconsin (United States)
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
Telling someone they are woke implies they are asleep. An intimidating insult.

looks like your mind was already made up even before i explained my words and intentions. think as you may, we don't have to agree as i was never trying to change your mind in the first place.