Is disco appropriate for a memorial service?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by invisibleman, May 18, 2010.

  1. invisibleman

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    Hello, LPSG-ers--

    I went to a funeral service for a dear (Caucasian) lesbian friend tonight. It was held at the funeral home. At the end of the memorial service. They played Sister Sledge's "WE ARE FAMILY" at the end of the tearjerker funeral. It wasn't piped through a PA...but a tiny EMERSON boombox.

    The crowd looked at each other like WTF? I was :confused:-ed.

    I think that I am a fun...joie de vivre dude...but I was pissed...I didn't stand up and dance in the memorial chapel like a few did.

    Question: Do you think that disco is appropriate for memorial/funeral services?

    I think that it was in bad taste and in the memorial chapel. Any music like that should be played at the family's home or a group reception off-site.


     
  2. FRE

    FRE
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    No, it is not appropriate. All the music should be by J. S. Bach.
     
  3. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    It depends on what the deceased requested and what their family or closest mourners would find appropriate not what anyone else at the funeral finds appropriate. The setting is irrelevant.
     
  4. Novaboy

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    Absolutely correct.
     
  5. invisibleman

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    Maybe...

    I understand that my friend is lesbian. I am cool with that. And yeah, there was a Joan Jett looking drag queen there at the funeral...and when they played the Sister Sledge song...I so totally thought that the drag queen was gonna perform it in the chapel. I looked at the drag queen...s/he told me honest-to-God-gayloving Cher-o-holics: "Don't worry, honey--I only do Liza Minnelli tunes.":eek:
     
    #5 invisibleman, May 18, 2010
    Last edited: May 18, 2010
  6. invisibleman

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    That is understandable.
     
  7. Icantthinkofaname

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    This, I once attended a memorial service where Purple Rain was blasting out of the speakers because it was the deceased's favorite song.
     
  8. MarkLondon

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    I once attended an all-ABBA music funeral. That was fabulous. The guy, who'd been through a hard time in his last few years, wanted to remind us that there had been good times in his life.

    The most awkward funeral music choice I've witnessed was my friend's lifetime favourite pop song - Connie Francis "Who's Sorry Now?" That caused some consternation!
     
  9. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    It's all entirely dependent upon the person and what they want/would have wanted. They alone should set the tone. My half-sister's step-father, whom I adored, wanted "When the Saints Go Marching In" because he only wanted a party. At a memorial I'm going to in two weeks, my best friend left me a note in which he chose the music, most of which is incredibly uplifting but some of which is deeply emotional. If the deceased doesn't give instructions, it falls to those who are left to best describe them musically.
     
  10. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    LOL :tongue:


    Exactly right.
     
  11. invisibleman

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    LPSG-ers--

    Thanks for the insight about the disco song being played at my dear late friend's funeral. I took the song wrong then. It is just I have been to a lot of memorial services. Like my late friend's, these were Christian services but this was the first funeral I have ever attended that had Sister Sledge played at the end. And I wasn't the only one who had the same reaction to it the way that I did. I would say 80 percent reacted as I did...then I would say about 75 percent of those attended clapped their hands and danced out of a "what-the-heck, why not?" situation.

    I knew that my friend was a lesbian. :eek:I never knew the Sister Sledge side of her.:eek: I only knew the country western side. She always had country played at her place. She liked Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take The Wheel".

    Anyway, I encourage you to debate on this matter further. I don't know what kind of music that I would want played at my funeral...if that ever happens--HEAVEN FORBID! I wouldn't want Sister Sledge played at my memorial service though. (I would've liked it played at like a dinner reception or an all-night party at a club afterwards...along with some Paradise Garage classics and some old-school hip hop.) :biggrin1:

    Invisi


     
  12. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Every funeral i've ever attended has been so sad. I talked to my husband yesterday about having everyone take a shot of scotch next to his ashes. I don't care if they drink or not, they are having a shot of scotch in memory of my husband and his favorite drink. I will do it and make my usual yucky scotch face all the while. We might even play a little Portishead or something.

    We recently burried my Aunt, my parents are so stuffy about having a typical flowery funeral. I want to go out with my skates on my feet and my wedding dress on (it will have to be unzipped in the back as it was back when i was a size 4)

    I need to make friends that have funerals like many of the gay men describe. I seriously get stuck at the typical Southern funeral where we have an hour service with stinky flowers everywhere, bad music, an ugly dress on the deceased, a graveside viewing of the casket being dropped and then we all gather over to Grandma's for a 5 thousand calorie feast of homemade casseroles.

    That song may have meant something special to her, but i dont think i could have stood up and jammed to it.
     
  13. flame boy

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    I guess it depends on the person and their wishes. I attended a funeral not very long ago and everyone was requested to wear bright colours and we were all given a yellow flower as we entered the service. The person wished for their life to be celebrated positively and I thought it was very touching. A funeral doesn't have to be a somber affair, but there is a line which I personally wouldn't want to cross.

    I could not have got up and danced at a funeral, but each to their own.
     
  14. Joll

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    I agree.
     
  15. vince

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  16. invisibleman

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    I agree funerals don't have to be somber affairs. I wouldn't mind people wearing bright colors at my memorial if I had died. (But if I were dead, I wouldn't mind at all what people wore...hehehe.) :smile:

    I didn't get up and dance. This unfortunately wasn't one of those DIXIE CHICKS "Sometimes you just gotta dance"-type moments.
     
  17. invisibleman

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    This one is so you. :biggrin1:

     
  18. vince

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    :yikes: You are so right.
     
  19. ghb69

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    Sorry for the loss of your friend.

    A funeral, memorial service, wake, or what ever your want to call them. Is a rememberance of, or a glorification of the departed. How you or someone wants to celebrate that can vary.

    The strangest one I attended was my Grandfathers which was video taped to send to a friend who could not attend. It felt more like a party than a funeral.
     
  20. B_theOtherJJ

    B_theOtherJJ New Member

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    Whatever would have honored and pleased the deceased is appropriate for the service in my opinion. Why does there have to be conventionality ??? Its all about remembering the departed one, and if they liked disco, so be it... My mother LOVED the color purple, so I attended the memorial service ALL dressed in purple.

    Its more disrespectful to LOSE the identity of the person you are memorializing.
     
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