There is a time and place for everything. I think that if a person has a funeral service (body present) or memorial service (no body--just the urn or nothing) in a secular location like the clubhouse at their country club, or a school auditorium, or even a funeral home, etc, there is nothing wrong with secular music if it is what the deceased liked and it means something to the family, too. I feel that if a funeral will take place within a religious edifice, the music must fit in that group's rules/regulations.
That was the situation. There was no viewing of the body. The internment was private. It was a memorial service at the funeral parlor's memorial chapel.
Having worked as a funeral director and also as a church musician, I have seen both sides. A funeral is for the living, not for the dead. If the living want to honor the deceased with disco music, it's fine. If they only want to use favorite hymns, that's fine. Most churches, synagogues, and other religious houses of worship view a funeral as a religious service and probably won't allow Sister Sledge to be played. When I worked full time at a funeral home, I would suggest that they play the music during the viewing or wake and people always were responsive to that suggestion.
I know that at my church, pre-recorded music is not allowed to be played at a service.
Secular music is not allowed during services, either, so even if someone were to play the piano and sing a secular song, the ministers would suggest the song be used at another place.
YEP, most definately. The memorial service was religious...but that last song just rubbed me the wrong way...considering the circumstances.
If the service is taking place somewhere secular, like a clubhouse, the only thing that limits what is played is the sound system. If they don't have one, it might be piano only, so you better have a good musician to play a song. I have been asked to play all kinds of stuff in funeral homes and gladly did it.
I think a funeral should be a celebration of the life lived, not a mournful time. The book of Ecclesiastes even says "there is a time to mourn and a time to dance."
Well, you know what, Prep. Someone Monday morning called me and told me on the phone that she had died last Friday night. And they were going to have the service Monday night at the funeral parlor. I guess that it wasn't my time to "Sister Sledge" just yet. :smile:
If dancing to Sister Sledge makes the survivors think of the good memories, that's great.
If an old gospel hymn gives the family comfort, fine. They should be personal.
I respect and understand all that.
There is just a time and a place for everything and disco in church might not work, but at the wake it would be fun.
I dunno...but that is just me. I have been to my mom's and one of my aunt's wakes. If "Sister Sledge" were played on a little cheap EMERSON boom box...I think I would be a little more than unnerved.
My personal thought is that Sister Sledge in the funeral home is ok and I'm glad that the family thought "outside the box" and did something non-traditional.
I would have been surprised if a church allowed that song, which is why many people opt to have services at funeral homes or in other places. There is no rule or regulation about where you have the funeral service, so do what you want within the context of the selected location.
Yeah. I understand.
:smile:
