Is femininity built in or acquired?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by vibratingfinger, Sep 8, 2007.

  1. vibratingfinger

    vibratingfinger New Member

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    Do you think femininity and masculinity are gender specific? Do they determine orientation? Is the degree to which one is feminine or masculine a natural tendency or is it influenced by the societies in which men and women live? Are physical qualities such as height, build, and facial features indicative of how feminine or masculine women are? Should they be?

    How important are they to you? Do they define you as an individual? How about your partner? Do you prefer a man with masculine physic and masculine behavior? Or a mix or something in between? Do you feel super masculine behavior in guys makes them harder to relate to? Is it a shell? do you think it's fake? What about overly feminine behavior in women? Is that fake to you as well?

    I know that's a lot of questions. Please don't google or wiki. I could do that myself. Answer whichever question you want and as many of them as you like. I wanna know how you feel about it. I need some female perspective on this. I'm helping my girlfriend with a project. We need some inspiration.
     
  2. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    So boring to say it... but it's a combination of both... just like everything else that makes us human.
     
  3. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I think it is you are born with a certain amount of femininity/masculinity but it is also based on what you pick up along the way and susceptible to fitting into to society and their expectations you are.

    I know myself i am quiet a tom boy and am trying to be more feminine as i get older, but i don't think i will ever be one for stilettos and skirts, they just arent me.

    As for me, the masculine macho, beer guzzling type doesn't interest me. I much prefer a softer, gentler kind of man who i can sit, talk to, share a wine and have a chat with. Also not a fan of muscles
     
  4. Principessa

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    Tell her to drop the class, it's early in the semester. :biggrin1: :tongue:
     
  5. ClaireTalon

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    Don't tell him to fuck her studies, tell him to fuck her! :biggrin1:

    I'm not sure that you are born with a certain degree of femininity or masculinity. Probably you carry both sides in you, like seeds, and which one develops to what degree is decided by external catalysts. A woman growing up in a more masculine surrounding, or influenced by the respective female examples, develops more masculine facettes about her personality than a woman who is influenced by more feminine examples. That is, as long as the examples are positive, there's also a negative way of exampling that might stimulate rebellious streaks and swing the development the other way round. Physical qualities are something different: They may influence the perception of others, but the chance of them being the same as the mind inside is about 50-50.

    Regarding my preference, I appreciate a masculine sort of appearance, but I won't take a stand on what's overly masculine/feminine. Perception decides, and this may lead to excessive discussions.
     
  6. Marina67

    Marina67 New Member

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    Briefly, I don't think femininity and masculinity can be assumed or pre-determined. I tend to think that most people may have a somewhat stable range in how feminine/masculine range that seems natural to them, but social and cultural norms can constrain the natural range. For example, little boys who are gentle, little girls who are rough. Each are often raised/trained by family and society to change and they'll often grow to conform. Personally, I believe that much of the conformist behavior they adopt may never really be "natural" but becomes habit, rather like how we may learn to chew with our mouths closed.

    Also, no, I don't think physical qualities are indicative whatsoever, though we may be brought up to expect otherwise. (This goes for each men and women.) I don't think femininity and masculinity rigidly defined should be expected, but this is what is culturally and socially the current expectations.

    Personally I'm not as concerned or interested in rigid gender roles as most, but many have considered me very liberal in these things. Unlike when I was younger, my mother considered me too tomboyish and constantly yelled at me when I wasn't feminine enough for her, I don't feel self-conscious about being too feminine or masculine (whatever this means to different people). My mother was (still is) pretty rigid about gender roles: she wanted something like out of the 1950s, or before. I grew up feeling very self-conscious about not measuring up to her expectations (though she had extreme expectations on everything, not just on how womanly she considered me). Despite my somewhat neurotic beginnings, I'm now confident in feeling I'm quite feminine as an adult for current times, if not a perfectly feminine one in my mother's mind.

    I've been attracted to (sometimes gone out with) men who have been stereotypical archetypal males and also with some metrosexual or even androgynous types of males, plus variations in between. The outer image isn't always correlated to how they are mentally and emotionally. In either case (for men or women), I don't know if it is "fake" or not and this point can be interpreted many ways. I think, though, there is a degree of what I consider "overcompensating" by being hyperfeminine or hypermasculine, at least in some situations. These situations indicate to me in part whether it's due to some sort of insecurity, or otherwise. It's hard to know with any certainty, though.

    No, I didn't google or wiki, it's from my own past and current considerations. Whatever this project is, I'm curious about it, if or when some background can be provided.
     
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