Is "Gay Recovery" Possible, Probable?

[earllogjam]

There is a group called Exodus International that does this kind of work converting lesbians and gays. They do have a few spokespeople who claim they have been converted through the love of christ. Some have even married each other and had children.

Hey, if conversion makes them happier more power to them. My suspicion is that many of these "converts" were actually bisexuals that have just repressed their homosexual desires.

I wonder how many gay men actually have had sex with a woman and found that it truly isn't their bag. I wonder if they hire whores for these gay men in the conversion process.

 

[goodwood]

"Its been hard for me to understand what it was like for him growing up: the entire focus of his life was based on his religion, on the primary importance of creating a family to live in eternity with, the utter rejection of gay members. The total control they exercise is scary. They are expected not to orgasm until their wedding nights!

I was raised protestant, minimal anti-gay pressure, and it was still a bitch for me to come out. He is making a choice between these bedrock beliefs he was brought up with and his own internal compass, and I think the church is winning."

the complete rejection of gay people is so out of line imo. to dismiss a person because of who they are seems contradictory to me. and not orgasm until their wedding night?! that is the biggest crock of shit i think i have ever heard of. i will ask - what church is this anyway?

 

[Rocky14441]

Wow, does that really exists! Wow, talking about conservative lol Well you can't turn your sexuality off I believe, if he will act straight after that, he will be living a lie probably... Sorry to hear

For a scare, go to www.peoplecanchange.com

For the record, I think my friend has been brutalised by his church and this program, but their job (and they do it well!) is to minipulate his guilt and shame, get deep in his psyche, so he thinks this is the right path.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

For a scare, go to www.peoplecanchange.com

For the record, I think my friend has been brutalised by his church and this program, but their job (and they do it well!) is to minipulate his guilt and shame, get deep in his psyche, so he thinks this is the right path.

Okay, I'm shocked! So the whole storyline here is that you aren't allowed to be who you are! Wow great, don't give people support, let's make them quilty and feel bad and see that they act like the behavior "god" wants. Well by this you clearly see that everyone had another opinion on what god wants from us.
My idea was that we just have to show respect for each other and be nice.
Well I'm probably wrong... So let's get rid of all the gay people on earth so that we could live happily ever after

 

[larocca]

No. It's not possible. Simple as that.

 

[kalipygian]

that's how he got in trouble in the first place.

Gay recovery is as effective as straight recovery.

Freud said basicly the same thing in 1903:

"in actual numbers the successes achieved by psychoanalytic treatment of homosexuality are not very striking", and "in general to undertake to convert a fully developed homosexual into a heterosexual is no more promising than the reverse".

This reference is from the book 'Anything but Straight', 'Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth', by Wayne Besen, who is ED of the organization Truth Wins Out, Truth Wins Out - Fighting Right Wing Lies and the 'Ex-Gay' Fraud, which counters these organizations.

There was another thread on this subject a couple of months back, you might find some more worthwhile info, if you can find it (the search function here is somewhat frustrating), and I am not suggesting that you should not have started this thread.

There is a brief reference to Evergreen, just that it is Utah based, operated by Mormons, and getting referrals from them, but not formally affiliated.

Back in September he was here, he was brought up by MCC to speak at an ex-ex-gay seminar, he is very articulate, at the time that a local fundamentalist church was holding a "pray away the Gay' seminar.

These programs have literally driven people to suicide, it is very good that you are sticking by your friend.

There was another thread on this subject a couple of months back, you might find some worthwhile posts there, if you can find it. (I am not saying that you should not have started this thread, and the search function here is somewhat frustrating)

 

[Rocky14441]

"Pray Away the Gay?" They need to keep the gays to help them with their slogans!

Thanks for the title, I'll check Amazon for it

 

[kalipygian]

"Pray Away the Gay?" They need to keep the gays to help them with their slogans!

Thanks for the title, I'll check Amazon for it

ISBN 1-56023-446-6, I got a copy for myself, and one for our Gay Community Center's library.

There is a lot of information also at the organization Truth Wins Out's website. If you contact them they might have more current info on the two groups you mentioned, the book went to press in 2003. I am sure they would be glad to help.

 

[Deno]

A ministers on an Ophra show said being gay was a gift from God, she didn't seem very please about it because she said to the one guy your the first minister that I've ever heard say that being gay was a gift from God and the other minister said I make 2 then. I never would have expect her to look and act so troubled by this statement.

My answer to the OP is yes it could be possible and probable but not without screwing the person up mentally for life.

 

[midlifebear]

Ah, the Manchurian Gay Candidate. After being brainwashed by the US Military at a White Party in Palm Springs our formerly straight undercover(s) agent is recruited to kill all members of the Log Cabin Party. Fortunately, his overlord's plot is foiled when he drinks his second Appletini at GOP fund raising event and ends up happily being gang fucked by the catering staff.

Later, as his ass heals and the deep throbbing finally ceases he contemplates the possibility of going out on his own to find "other" covert operatives who would enjoy pounding his ass.

In the end (pun intended) the woman who played his mother is not killed, but goes on to win a Tony for her riveting performance as the male senator in a revival of Le Cage.

 

[Principessa]

I have a close friend who was forced by his church to go into a "Gay Recovery" program

I'm so sorry to hear this. :frown1: I have a friend whose mom made him go to one of those places when he came out to her and 25 years later I think he still suffers from the twisted techniques of those bastards. :angryfire2:

Does anyone on this site have any experience with People Can Change, or Evergreen, or any of the other institutions that claim to be able to change a man's SSA (Same Sex Attraction)?

Not familiar with those organizations, sorry. :redface:

Is it possible, or even desirable to change your sexual orientation?

IMO, no it is not possible to change your sexual orientation. I believe it is something with which you are born. Desirable? Hmm, all the gay men I know are my age or older and are very comfortable in their own skin. Maybe when they were younger and not out yet it may have been desirable to them to want to change as a way of fitting into the 'alleged' norm.

They tell him that all he needs is male bonding, that that will take care of his needs, that there is a straight man inside him waiting to be let out.

How do those nut jobs define male bonding? :irked: What makes them think going to Hooters, bass fishing, or going to football games is the definitive answer to male bonding?

Am I the one in denial, or is he? I there anything I can do for him?[/quote]
You are fine, he is in denial. I can understand your desire to want to help him see the light; I just don't know what you can do to help him. :frown1:

 

[amygdala]

Sounds to me like your friend and others like him need "religion recovery" programs more than anything else. But for religious intolerance and bigotry, there'd be no need to "fix" anyone.

 

[ZOS23xy]

Trying to disregard those feelings that make you joyous and happy and fall in love can only lead to an unhappy neurotic human being fearful of "the temptations".

I can think of a few individuals who did not marry because "it wasn't right." "I fell in love with a man who was not Catholic." "He was divorced." "He wasn't a virgin."

And so on....

 

[B_bflr]

I tried a few years back. It didn't work.

 

[Rocky14441]

I tried a few years back. It didn't work.

Do you mind if I ask what you tried?

 

[surferboy]

the fact that these "recovery centers" are even legal blows my mind. i was watching something on mtv, yah? and one young guy was sent to one of these places, and he said they actually placed one cross on him, and put one electric current through it. he said he has a burn mark of the cross on his chest

 

[Duplicity]

One of my male gay friends was subjected to "deliverance" to cure him of his SSA when he admitted his attraction to men to his pastor.
He has since left the church and is living an openly gay lifestyle

 

[novice_btm]

...He has since left the church and is living an openly gay lifestyle

I don't like being offensive, but I'm sure there are those out there that won't like this, so... Regarding the above, I just think that as greedy, and as all about money, as some churches are, that they're a bit stupid to drive away those who are faithful, and happen to be gay. I mean, with no braces to put on the 2.3 kids, or private schools to pay for, "the Gays" are known, albeit stereotypically, for having more disposable income, and if they were very involved with their church, I'm sure they wouldn't be stingy about contributing. Just seems like an overlooked cash cow.

I heard the whole "those types in our Sanctuary" argument. But really...? I mean, fear of "the Gays" invading church, is just a bit ridiculous, since it's hardly the pink-boa-wearing club bunnies, that comprise the diligently attending church-going gays.

 

[Rocky14441]

I heard the whole "those types in our Sanctuary" argument. But really...? I mean, fear of "the Gays" invading church, is just a bit ridiculous, since it's hardly the pink-boa-wearing club bunnies, that comprise the diligently attending church-going gays.

Not only won't they let them in the church, but there are churches that won't let you attend church functions once you are "Cast out"

I have a Mormon friend who came out to his parents when he was sixteen. They told him "we no longer have a son." The church teaching is that you are creating a family on earth for a permanant place in the "good" heaven, the heaven above all heavens, and there was no place in their famiy for that.

This guy was at my aprtment in Providence when the Morman missionaries came knocking on the door. What a scene!

 

[invisibleman]

I have a close friend who was forced by his church to go into a "Gay Recovery" program.

Does anyone on this site have any experience with People Can Change, or Evergreen, or any of the other institutions that claim to be able to change a man's SSA (Same Sex Attraction)?

Is it possible, or even desirable to change your sexual orientation?

I have known a lot of men, including my friend, who are really messed up because of the lies (in my judgment) that these programs spread. Most of the guys who go through this programs are from strict religious upbringings: Orthodox Jews, Mormons, and Catholics. They hold "reorientation" weekends.

They tell him that all his needs is male bonding, that that will take care of his needs, that there is a straight man inside him waiting to be let out.

Am I the one in denial, or is he? Is there anything I can do for him?

Well, he needs gay friends. A support group.

He also needs to know the "success" rates of these "re-orientation" groups are. You cannot deny what the heart wants. It always manifests into other areas when you deny your true self.