is gf being unreasonable?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by johan81, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. johan81

    johan81 New Member

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    so let me start off by sayin first time poster, long time lurker. Now, I love my gf very much, we've been together for a while but she is the jealous type, and I don't know why because she's beautiful. I have never ever cheated on a significant other in my life, and have only been with 3 women in my life. the first was a quick highschool fling, but the second was a 4yr committed relationship during highschool and college, and this third one is going on 3yrs fully committed. My current gf i think is going to be the one for me, we're both crazy for each other, however one day she found old porn on my computer. She got VERY mad and started saying that i cheated on her. she says that i shouldn't be looking at any thing other than her and theres no reason for me to have to look at that stuff. I defended it by saying I would never EVER even consider cheating with another peson and she beleives me. She knows i would never touch another girl, but even just looking at pictures online is a no no in her book. She also gets upset if she finds out i've jerked off because again she says the point of having a gf is to let her get me off. Now we have regular sex and its great, but sometimes i just want to get off on my own, is that so bad? I've begun to feel bad if i even just look at pictures of other girls. I feel she's being unreasonable, and it makes me upset because I've never even considered being with another girl, let alone having sex with another girl. I don't think i'm out of line by getting off on my own or looking at some porn here and there. I just figured its a good way to get off when I'm not with her. I don't know how to convince her that it's normal though. Am I the one who is out of line here?
     
  2. Drifterwood

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  3. rob_just_rob

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    She's a woman. By definition, she's unreasonable. :biggrin1:
     
  4. HiddenLacey

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    She could be upset because she feels insecure in your relationship? Maybe scared that you're more attracted to those women or that you are turning to porn because you are not satisfied with her?

    Why don't you two watch porn together sometime?

    Everyone needs time alone and sometimes it feels great to have a quickie without the production that surrounds sex with a partner. I would also guess that she's rather young? Then again I know someone in her forties that literally broke down everytime her partner watched porn. It's just porn, it's not as though you are cheating on her.
     
    #4 HiddenLacey, Jan 23, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2011
  5. ZOS23xy

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    She seems to have her own view as to "what sex is", and it is a bit narrower than your views. Either she opens up or she doesn't.
     
  6. molotovmuffin

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    She's just young and thinks her pussy is all you should need to make you happy.

    Just tell her to keep her mouth on your dick 24/7 and she'll be right on target :wink:
     
  7. blaquehorse

    blaquehorse New Member

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    Most women (not all) would react that way.
    Just after Christmas, i left my FB page open and my wife saw some of the comments i made on pictures of some women's ass and tits. Oh my , all hell broke lose !
    She said i was cheating on her cos i did not tell of that particular account and so on and so ft.
    She knows i love her very much but, she would rather i didn't even so much as glance at another woman.
    I sometime ask her if she would rather i was blind !
    Bottom line, her behaviour is not unussual, just tell her how much you love her.

    NB. Maybe, it would be better if you didn't tell her everytime you jerked off.
     
  8. SR_Les Intercourse

    SR_Les Intercourse New Member

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    shes over reacting lol
     
  9. Pierced1953

    Pierced1953 New Member

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    it's good to get off to/by yourself so I understand your feelings. but if she is willing to get you off everytime you want then let her do it. maybe teach her how you like to stroke it. it might be alot more fun watching her swallow or cumming on her. after awhile she might get tired of it and change her mind.
     
  10. jakeryder

    jakeryder Member

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    Sounds like an ex I had. She ended up screwing around on me. I'd bail now. But that's just what I'd do.
     
  11. johan81

    johan81 New Member

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    Thanks for the opinions. I def don't go around just telling her i jerk off, but we've had conversations about masterbating and when I told her i do it every now and then she got upset and couldn't understand why. I tell her I love her but I can't figure out for the life of me why shes so insecure sometimes. Shes asked if i find other women more attractive and that shes afraid that she isn't satisfying, when in reality i'm more than satisfied, love being with her and find her EXTREMELY attractive, and I tell her, yet i just feel that i dunno, I'm a guy and I don't know what the problem is with getting off on my own looking at pictures of other girls. We've gotten in arguments and when she asks why i say Beacuse I'm a guy! I told her if i didn't find girls attractive I would never be dating her. That got her quiet for a bit but she just anwsered with, well now you have me so you shouldn't still be looking. It's just frustrating because I'm not looking for another mate, but hell if someone posts a picture of a hot girl am I wrong for finding it attractive? Its just a way to get off, and shes knows that I've never tried to make contact or anything with any other woman. It's just frustrating being with a person you care about so much and share the same views on almost everything except this.

    also, we dont live together yet, we have our own apartments however there are time when we won't see each other for days, so again is it so wrong to get off on your own when you don't have your partner around?
     
    #11 johan81, Jan 23, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2011
  12. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    You sound like a young couple. I'm agreeing with SG on this one, perhaps you should watch it together. If you are going to be together for the long haul there's no time like the present to find out if you are able to work out your issues.
     
  13. Stephenmass

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    Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you are blind man. I am sure when she sees a hot guy walk by she knows he is hot. No difference.
     
    #13 Stephenmass, Jan 23, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2011
  14. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    As far as I'm concerned, you are normal and she is being unreasonable. If a boyfriend of mine behaved the way she is behaving, I'd dump him in a second. I couldn't be with someone who felt such an urge to control me.
     
  15. johan81

    johan81 New Member

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    Thanks. I'm def not going to get rid of her unless she does sometime really stupid. Watching porn together is out of the question since she said she finds it disgusting, however it's not even porn all the time. I once had a picture of a very busty model in a bikini leaning over a car on my pc and she immedietely got upset. My ex used to just roll her eyes and not care. She'd say as long as you're just looking than she could care less. Like i said i've begun to feel bad because i feel i'm doing something wrong, but deep down i know that i'm a guy and thats what guys do. Again i'm not going after any girls, hell i've had girls flirt with me in the past and i pay them no attention because as far as im concerned, i'm more than happy with my relationship and would never want to ruin it, its just this issue which is causing fights every now and then.
     
  16. whoknowes

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    CONTROL FREAK... Run while you can.....
     
  17. sexplease

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    She IS unreasonable and unlearned in a few areas.
    She fails to realize, or perhaps know, men have been pulling on and playing with their penis's since we were nine minutes old! And her "feelings" or wants will never change another creatures desires. ever.
    Men ARE visual, depth-perception, testosterone driven animals first. (look it up)
    We desire to fight and fuck.
    Women are feeling, vocal (communicators ie: ba-ba, ma-ma, da-da, etc.) who pass on such social cohesive skills as communication.
    She will greatly benefit from taking a few classes in: Anthropology, sociobiology and human sexuality.
    When you masturbate you are NOT cheating.
    Cheating implies a broken contract. Often, these "rules" are assumed, which is a huge kink and often a major reason relationships fail. Partners ASSUME and/or expect something of the other.
    Whether you save sex, including self-service, for only your partner, it is a CHOICE you - the individual has to make...and make it gladly and whole-hearted. Otherwise it's a burden or shackle.
    We have choices, in life AND in the privacy of our homes and relationships.
    Choose your yokes wisely... and solely live with its benefits...and burdens.
    Assuming those behaviors and rules on another is doomed to failure.
     
  18. JulieInNaplesFL

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    She's a woman. By definition, she's unreasonable. :rolleyes:

    And, she is a control freak and needs her ass spanked. :biggrin1:

    Somebody (You) needs to get her sh1t straight.

    It will get worse as time goes on if you don't.

    Unless of course you like being a sub.

    Just my opinion, which I value highly. :rolleyes:
     
  19. CascadeMDG

    CascadeMDG Member

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    Johan, everything you've said points to her being immature and insecure about this. But the above sentence is proof of it. If every man got upset over his gf having pictures of other men (or vice versa), the human race would end.

    You can't rationalize it by saying "you're a guy." That only makes sense to people who are willing to let it. So two things 1) Do not under any circumstances allow her to make you feel bad. Because there isn't a human being alive who doesn't find more than one person attractive. 2) Imagine yourself in her shoes, and take the time to calmly explain things to her the way you'd want things explained to you.

    You can agree to disagree, but remember that it has to be a compromise. You can't just do whatever she says, and she has to get a better grip on reality. Otherwise you might as well let her lock you in the house and never step outside for fear of seeing another woman.
     
  20. CascadeMDG

    CascadeMDG Member

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    This.
     
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