is gf being unreasonable?

xxuxu

Experimental Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Posts
216
Media
0
Likes
15
Points
248
Location
New York (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Sounds like an ex I had. She ended up screwing around on me.
Same here. It was what I thought was a serious relationship, about a year long. If she even suspected I had jerked off - which I did sometimes - she'd get angry with me, because I might have been thinking of someone else. Once or twice when I produced a smaller load than usual, which happens sometimes, the accusations started. There were also random accusations of flirting with other girls (all false - I was nearly a saint), and of being controlling if I wouldn't let her camp out in the woods with half a dozen guys, some of whom openly "liked" her.

Her best friend ratted her out, and I learned she'd been cheating on me with at least two guys.
 

Patchos

Sexy Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2006
Posts
2,052
Media
0
Likes
47
Points
193
Location
Australia
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
so let me start off by sayin first time poster, long time lurker. Now, I love my gf very much, we've been together for a while but she is the jealous type, and I don't know why because she's beautiful. I have never ever cheated on a significant other in my life, and have only been with 3 women in my life. the first was a quick highschool fling, but the second was a 4yr committed relationship during highschool and college, and this third one is going on 3yrs fully committed. My current gf i think is going to be the one for me, we're both crazy for each other, however one day she found old porn on my computer. She got VERY mad and started saying that i cheated on her. she says that i shouldn't be looking at any thing other than her and theres no reason for me to have to look at that stuff. I defended it by saying I would never EVER even consider cheating with another peson and she beleives me. She knows i would never touch another girl, but even just looking at pictures online is a no no in her book. She also gets upset if she finds out i've jerked off because again she says the point of having a gf is to let her get me off. Now we have regular sex and its great, but sometimes i just want to get off on my own, is that so bad? I've begun to feel bad if i even just look at pictures of other girls. I feel she's being unreasonable, and it makes me upset because I've never even considered being with another girl, let alone having sex with another girl. I don't think i'm out of line by getting off on my own or looking at some porn here and there. I just figured its a good way to get off when I'm not with her. I don't know how to convince her that it's normal though. Am I the one who is out of line here?

You come and post this at a site where masturbation and porn are considered the bees knees and seriously expect an objective answer?
 

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
The lady has grown up in a fairy tale, and has "scripts" in her head on how a Prince Charming should behave.

Would you stay with a man with a similar view of life?

I have two major problems with fairytalers. First, what other aspects of life do they think they have figured out with accompanying expectations, and secondly, what happens when the fairytale crashes into reality?
 

Attila the Hung

Admired Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2009
Posts
677
Media
11
Likes
773
Points
248
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
Having read your story Johan, all I can say is that I seriously doubt your relationship with this girl will stand the test of time, insecurity of that magnitude is a relationship killer of the worst kind.

If I were you the next time she blows a gasket over something trivial I would put my foot down and let her know that her behaviour is totally unacceptable to you and that you don`t want to be near her when she acts this way and that you resent her for making you feel like your an asshole for doing whatever it is that you were doing.

Look her dead in the eyes when you say this and say it like you fucking mean it, make her think that if she doesn`t change her attitude and behaviour that you will leave and find someone who will accept you for who you are as you are and not try and mold you into what they think you ought to be.

From what I have seen the mistake that most people make especially young adults going into a relationship is that they almost always try and change the person they are with, and this is always destined for failure. You are supposed to grow together and learn to accept each other as you are, not to try and change your partner to fit your idea of what is your ideal mate.

Anyway do what you think is best but your really gonna have to be a man here and draw a line in the sand somewhere when it comes to her behaviour and tell her what is and is not acceptable to you, otherwise things will never change and its only a matter of time until your relationship comes to an end.

Good Luck.
 

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
Look her dead in the eyes when you say this and say it like you fucking mean it, make her think that if she doesn`t change her attitude and behaviour that you will leave and find someone who will accept you for who you are as you are and not try and mold you into what they think you ought to be.

From what I have seen the mistake that most people make especially young adults going into a relationship is that they almost always try and change the person they are with, and this is always destined for failure. You are supposed to grow together and learn to accept each other as you are, not to try and change your partner to fit your idea of what is your ideal mate.

I would second (bit of a boxing pun there for you :smile:) this, Johan. I am sure that this girl is lovely in many respects and ticks all the boxes in terms of attracting you, but her attitude in this respect is fundamentally not conducive to a successful happy relationship.
 

vlls

Expert Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Aug 6, 2008
Posts
240
Media
15
Likes
135
Points
213
Location
Victoria, BC
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
It's simple. Yes, she is being unreasonable. Yes, she is being jealous. Tell her to get over herself and get real. Also, you might want to mention that jealousy ends up creating the very problem it's trying to prevent.
 

B_Bjen2848

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Posts
942
Media
0
Likes
10
Points
103
Location
Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
this is normal and the solution is very simple .. use it to your advantage, be like "well babe, maybe if you gave me more attention, i wouldnt have to go on (porno site of choice).com", then tell her you wont do it again and boom, shes gonna help you bust like 2 nuts a day .. and for those days where shes on her period and doesnt feel like blowing you, just whip out the laptop for a quick jerk then delete your history .. in this day and age where theres free porno EVERYWHERE, why waste up space on the computer?
 

D_Sigmund Fockbuddy

Account Disabled
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Posts
372
Media
0
Likes
1
Points
53
Sounds like an ex I had. She ended up screwing around on me. I'd bail now. But that's just what I'd do.
^ this...same thing happened to me.

Insecure girl always worried that I would cheat, and to pre-empt from getting hurt actually hooked up with some 'hot surfer guy' when she was vacationing in Florida. Needless to say, I wasnt cheating on her at all.