Is he gay/ Should I care dilemma

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by closetbi, Jul 15, 2009.

  1. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    Alright so I met this kid 'B' about a year ago through my friend 'A'. A has always been clearly metro, although swore all the time he wasn't gay, and I believed it. He also swore one time that B wasn't, even though B is rarely chasing women, he is a big guy with slow self-esteem probably. B and I got into some crazy secret problems (nonsexual, but still secret). Since we had no one else to talk to about these things, we started chillen out...every day. A short while later my friend A got deported to another country, and now B and I hang out all the time. When I say all the time, I mean I spend more time with him than with my past girlfriends.

    I told him I'm bi, and he doesn't seem to shy away from it at all. When ever we get physical, ie play fighting he gets happy and smiles and shit. When we're riding around in the car it's almost a competition of how long we can keep our arms touching. We have never said anything gay to each other about each other, and I think I'm starting to like him a lot. When he talks about girls it's clear to me that he's faking it, but I don't know if he really is, or if he really just wants to be straight. I'd love to make a move on him, but I don't want him to go nuts and be like "what the fuck are doing man?!", because I know back when I thought of myself as straight, a gay man making a move on me constituted a punch in the face.

    What should I doooooo?
     
  2. mistergrasso

    mistergrasso Member

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    He's gay.
     
  3. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    How are you so sure? How can I get better at telling?
     
  4. jjsjr

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    What is it you really want out of this...
    other than you want him to reveal his orientation???

    Do you want to hook up?
    Do you want to be boyfriends together?
    or do you just want him to tell you his orientation?
     
  5. invisibleman

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    Suck his index finger.
     
  6. leonceswim

    leonceswim Active Member

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    I say you should not automatically assume he is gay from what you stated above, there is a lot of guys that are like that with their closest guy friends. you should approach this situation a different way, more sexual but not entirely, then see how he reacts.
     
  7. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    I want a few things out of this. He seems like someone I can really be comfortable talking about my sexuality with. If he's going through the same thing I am, we can probably help each other out a lot. I'm not sure about boyfriending it, but I'd love to hook up with him, and if it does go well, we'd probably be boyfriends just because we're together all the time. If I knew he was gay, I'd approach the situation as I would a girl that I'm trying to get with, so yeah, I am interested in him. He might not believe that though because he looks straight and he hasn't had the best of luck with women. (I don't think he believes he's good looking, but I sure do.)
     
  8. mistergrasso

    mistergrasso Member

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    You'll get better with time but if he is driving around with you touching your arm and wrestling with a smile on his face he's obviously interested. he knows what he's doing and you know what he's doing. At the very least, he's curious.
     
  9. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    Not really touching my arm, but you know when your arm touches someone else's coincidentally, and depending on the atmosphere you may or may not move it? Before I told him I was bi we would move it...but since then we leave it there unless someone else is in the car. What's a safe way to find out without bugging him out? Because if he's not gay, I still want to hang out with him like we do.
     
  10. mistergrasso

    mistergrasso Member

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    Next time he talks about girls ask him flat out if he ever has those kinds of thoughts or feelings about guys? he knows you do and he knows you have a history of dating women so it would be neither bizarre nor out of left field. If he does, he will probably tell you. If not, he will definitely tell you.
     
  11. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    I'm the only one that even talks about girls! His best would be looking at a girl that's passing by and commenting. The only other time he talks about girls is if we're chilling with a bunch of guys and he's kind of required to make a judgment on a chick.

    Edit: Is it supposed to be scary when I ask?
     
  12. mistergrasso

    mistergrasso Member

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    Your heart will race a mile a minute and you'll have butterflies in your stomach.
     
  13. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    And if he says he's straight...how do I recover without it seeming like he just shot me down? btw thanks a lot man
     
  14. mistergrasso

    mistergrasso Member

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    If he says he's straight you say, "Cool, I was just wondering."
     
  15. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    I might just get drunk before I do it, and if he says he's straight I'll just drop my pants and ask him to prove it.
     
  16. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    Now I'm all worked up.
     
  17. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Now he know you are bi, maybe he thought of it and is curious too now. Don't push things, just go with the flow and see :smile:
     
  18. jjsjr

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    Ask him to join LPSG, maybe he'll eventually admit his inner-most feelings for you anonymously!
     
  19. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    I've been going with the flow way too long. Me going with the flow = us running into girls who are always trying to impress me because they can tell I think they're overrated, and me taking them out because I don't want to be the homo that didn't have the balls to make a move on a chick. Shit, it's hard to come out. We still call each other fags.
    If we got decently drunk one night...and it gets to the end of the night, and I catch eye contact with him and lay a kiss on those lips...how bad can things go if he's not gay?
     
  20. B_AZBiGuy

    B_AZBiGuy New Member

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    The next time you're talking about sex or hooking up or dating... drop the line:
    "If you were gay or bi, I'd totally be into you."

    That's how I knew my straight buddies were into me. Must've had at least 3 straight guys tell me that... weird I know.
     
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