Is he into me or is it just me?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by enterends, Oct 14, 2010.

  1. enterends

    enterends Member

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    Ok so there is a guy in my class and I don't know if he is gay but he has been talking to me alot. So I first noticed him when some of the class was early and he was talking to them about a quiz we took and as he talked he was looking at me like 75% of the time and I was not even part of the conversation. So I joined in to be polite. Idk I wanted to hear what he was saying. So I thought that was nothing. Then just yesterday we just had a test and were on break. I was by a vending machine and as I am going twards the hall i see him in the corner of my eye. I kept walking thinking nothing of it then I hear him say "So, what you think of the test?" So being polite again I started to talk about it. Then we meet up with the rest of the class and they are all talking. We had finished talking by then so I expected him to talk to them or something because I did not know what else to say. Then all of a sudden he starts asking me if i drink Arazona ice tea. He saw someone holding the bottle I said no. Then he tells me that "its stange when i see people on the train they are always so serious."
    I know this may be NOTHING but is this strange behavior. He is really hot. Like a 8-9 on a ten point scale. If i say anything i would be imbarassed if he is not gay. But by this behavior it makes me think he might be interested in me. But i'm only about 15% sure about it. I will see if anything else happens but what do you guys think? If you guys think im crazy and it is nothing please tell me. But if you think he might be at least bi and interested give me a percentage on how sure you are and if i should persue it.
     
  2. erratic

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    Is there a gay club at your school? Or gay stuff to do in your area?
    Say you're going to one of those things and invite him along. If he says "I'm not gay" tell him you don't have to be gay to go, you just thought it would be fun to hang out.
    If he says yes, ask him if he's ever been before. That should naturally lead to a conversation about how gay/not gay he is.
     
  3. davis0444

    davis0444 Member

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    Or maybe just ask him out for coffee or a beer. He might feel more comfortable opening up to you away from other folks. Even if he's not gay, he might become a good friend.
     
  4. D_CountVonBhigBohner

    D_CountVonBhigBohner Account Disabled

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    ...or maybe he just wants to make friends?
     
  5. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    I'd be a little less direct about it. Go somewhere "sexual orientation neutral".

    For what it's worth, I know these situations can be really tough.

     
  6. D_CountVonBhigBohner

    D_CountVonBhigBohner Account Disabled

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    i would become friends and see where it goes. It sounds like you want an immediate answer....That's the wrong approach. Hang with him outside of school, study with him. If there is sexual attraction, it will surface.
     
  7. Chase1600

    Chase1600 Member

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    These are college classes, right? This is a nice guy; he’s cute; he’s in your class and he’s going out of his way to be cool with you.

    Nothing about this seems strange to me.

    Be confident. Return his attention in kind. It seems he’s trying to start conversations with you. What class are you taking together? Maybe you could become study partners. I think that’s a great way for guys to get together. Does he ride the same train as you, maybe you could meet up. Find out about his major, interests, things like that.

    See if he wants to hang out at the student union, maybe to study maybe just to meet up for lunch or whatever. If you guys get to be buddies, maybe you can catch a movie or something. Do these things and I think you’ll get a bit of a read on you question about his being gay or not. At some point he might bring up girls or the girl he’s dating. Or maybe not. Maybe he will start revealing some interest in you.

    In time, you may have some decision. Are you even out of the closet about being gay? You should take time and do that sort of thing when it feels right. If you start liking him, really liking him, there could develop the risk that you will have to deal with something. Should that happen, when you get to that point, we’d be able to offer further advice and encouragement.

    It’s hard to carry a torch for a straight dude. It’s harder to do it with a guy when you are wondering, and not sure, and dithering afraid to ask, not wanting to let it go. But you are not yet at that point.

    Right now, why not enjoy the chance to be friends with a great guy.
     
  8. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    I've never once seen someone ask a question like this and people actually respond "yeah it sounds like he's into you" unless there's some dick-grabbing involved.
     
  9. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    This is a good idea once you get to know him a little better. It will allow you to read his body language when he is sitting right next to you (and in the dark :biggrin1:). Is he is okay with sharing an armrest and cool if your legs happen to touch?

     
  10. zaragoza

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    He's definitely,interested in you,maybe it's not sexual and he just wants to be friends with you,who knows,personally i think that's the best way,to become friends with him,only if you're interested,of course.And who knows where it will go from there.
     
  11. petite

    petite New Member

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    I think this is really clever. It isn't asking him if he's gay specifically (he may be straight and believe in gay rights and would be interested in going and just being your friend) and it doesn't come right out and ask him if he's interested in you, but it might open up the topic for conversation if he wants to. I puts the ball in his court about how to react or where the conversation goes. I like it.
     
  12. Bbucko

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    Nothing ventured, nothing gained, IMO.

    As regards the movies, nearly all straight guys who go to the movies with other straight guys prefer to keep a chair open between them: it's a kind of "no homo" sort of thing.
     
  13. jennifer1980

    jennifer1980 New Member

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    sounds like there is an interest with you to me!!! Think Chase gave the best suggestions!!! Good luck!!
     
  14. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    This isn't good. It's putting the other guy on the spot.

     
  15. killerb

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    sometimes guys are just friendly...don't read too much into it...

    just accept it & as you get to know him, you'll see what his intentions are...
     
  16. petite

    petite New Member

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    More than asking him out to coffee or to a movie?

    It think it all depends on how casually you pull it off. Then again, if he's a guy in denial, he could react badly, but then the OP doesn't really have a chance with him, does he?
     
  17. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    Yes, more than asking him to go for coffee or to a movie. It brings an entirely new dimension into it before they even really know each other. And if he is interested but generally closeted, the OP's chances can be messed up by being so overt and quick on the draw. Closeted guys are not going to be that "out there".

     
  18. enterends

    enterends Member

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    I think your right.

    I am not going to be his friend. I'm also not going to talk to him. If he talks to me ill answer but that is it. I only see him in this one class. I think he would be a good friend but I have enough already. And as for boyfriend if he was gay he seems to want no one to know. Plus I feel like dating a girl right now anyways. Thanks for your answers!
     
    #18 enterends, Oct 17, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2010
  19. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    Seems pretty harsh, mean even. This guy has done nothing to offend you. On the contrary, he has tried to make at least a friendly connection with you.

     
    #19 B_RedDude, Oct 17, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2010
  20. Chase1600

    Chase1600 Member

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    That was my first impression as well, but after thinking about it for a micro-second, look at it this way. The guy would probably just like to have some friends and our OP is most certainly not interested in doing that. So why mislead him?
     
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