Is Hooking Up A Good Idea For A First Time?

Xthebosss

Experimental Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 21, 2018
Posts
3
Media
0
Likes
6
Points
138
Location
France
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Hello everyone,

Here is my situation : I’m 18 and i’ve never had a relationship with someone nor have sex with someone,
Since I couldnt find love IRL up until now, I decided to use grindr, which we all know is not ideal to get in a relationship, but rather for hooking up.

The problem is that since i never had sex with anyone, I’m feeling a bit reluctant to hook up for my first time, although there are some really really hot boys ready to hit me and also I just feel like it would take forever to find someone I truly love.
Rn I’m just starting to get bored of masturbating on my own lol.

Basically, I don’t know if it’s a bad idea to just hit someone for the first time or keep my first time for someone i really care about, knowing that i’ve already been waiting for almost 2-3 years.
Note that i’m just asking for the first time : i guess i would be more open to hookups if I already had sex before.

I would gladly take your advices !

I feel like hookups are much more common in the gay community, but I’m still wondering if their first time would be also the same.

So I would really appreciate if you could also tell what kind of first time you’ve had, like a hookup or something else...

thanks !
 

indyfrat79

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Sep 13, 2010
Posts
366
Media
13
Likes
3,254
Points
523
Location
Chicago (Illinois, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Your dilemma is common and I think many of us felt like that when we were younger. My advice would be to use Grindr to initiate some conversations. There's no harm in chatting. Talk to some guys. Not everyone wants an immediate hookup. I think you might find that there are many other guys in a similar situation. I think that some Grindr chats could turn into facetime/phone calls which could turn into a friendship. Then the play will happen naturally. Any meaningful love starts as a friendship, right? So take it slowly and see what happens... un pas après l'autre.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WadWorshipper

briacon429

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Posts
327
Media
1
Likes
1,998
Points
388
Location
California (United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
I agree: you may be able to meet guys online (including Grindr or even LPSG) but don’t get too hung up on having sex. Focus on getting to know people you like, let things progress naturally, and the sex will come when the time is right.

I remember being in your shoes all too well! Since I’d never had sex before, it seemed like such a big deal. Losing your virginity is definitely a landmark moment, but it can be awkward (and it definitely was for me). My second time was actually way better than the first, because that’s when I started to get the hang of what I was doing, and it started to feel really good. Eventually, once you get older and more experienced at it, having sex won’t be a big deal at all!

I do recommend being careful about hookups, especially in the beginning. There’s nothing inherently wrong about them, and I do know people whose had their first time that way. And they can definitely be hot! But you do run the risk of catfishing and all kinds of other stuff. You’re probably better off getting more experience first so that you have a good idea of what you’re doing.
 

cedarizzo

Superior Member
Joined
Apr 15, 2013
Posts
1,495
Media
34
Likes
6,513
Points
533
Location
Champaign, IL, USA
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I believe you should probably find a guy or two online that is in a similar situation as you are. Maybe they haven't been with anybody yet, maybe they have had sex once or twice but want to experiment again. I think it is important that you figure out what you like and what you don't like before you concentrate on a relationship.

Just be safe, go slow, don't jump into anything you don't feel comfortable with.

Sex can be lots of fun when you find the right guy, just enjoy it and have fun!
 

Brodie888

Worshipped Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2015
Posts
3,056
Media
0
Likes
12,703
Points
233
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
My first time was with a random person I didn'teven know the name of. If I had my time again, I wouldn't have done it that way.

First time is going to be a clumsy awkward affair. I think it's important to be able to talk to that person days afterward if you need reassurance. Whether it be questions, worries etc.

In my circumstance, I practiced safe sex but three days later I ended up getting the flu. At the time I was freaking out because I thought I got HIV and had to go through the stress of testing etc.

Also, a random person increases the likelihood they won't care about your needs being your first time. So it may not be as pleasant an experience as you might hope for and will always be your memory of your first sexual encounter.

So my advice is to make some gay friends your age and somewhere along the line you'll find one to play around with. Even if you don't end up being anything more than friends, at least you will decrease your chances of regrets.