Is hooking up now the ideal first date?

buzzrider7

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So where are you meeting these "first dates?" I think if you make it clear when you ask somebody out or are asked out that you're interested in finding somebody to have a relationship with and that you are looking to take the time to get to know them before juming into bed, that will naturally weed out a lot of bad candidates who are just looking for a quick hook-up. You might try match.com or okcupid, which are geared more toward get-to-know-you kind of dates rather than just hookups. You can also specify in your profile there exactly what you are and are not after. Good luck!
 

psguy64

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Some one said this years ago that has proven more truth than I care,
'sex on the first date means there will not be a second date'. Sounds a
bit "old fashioned" but there is more truth in that statement.
 

D_Lee_Iacuckold

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Ummm...with all due respect Bb i don't think he was doing that at all. He was expressing what he wanted and wanted to know if that was not the norm for gay society. Just becuase his desires and ideals for a first date do not correspond with yours does not inherently mean he is "slut shaming." What would be the phrase for someone calling a person out for not wantng to be slutty? Live and let live.

It's ike getting pissed at someone who asks "Is everyone into some kind of kink, cuz i like pure vanilla, and was wondering if I was in the minority for the gay culture." While not for me (i have to have some kink) I wouldn't dream of accusing them of ..."kink shaming", I guess? Any more than I would feel the desire to critisize a person for an unshared kink. I don't get sounding, but I am not going to try to "shame" a person who does. If it gets them off, great. I expect them to respect me and my desire to not have it performed on me. If they tried to shame me for not trying it or being closed minded to it, there is the fuckin door.

Thank you very much for the defense, as you were absolutely right that I was not "slut shaming" anyone.:smile:

This whole topic came to my mind because of this one little incident that happened.

OKay so this guy emails me online. And he was really cute and adorable. I dont know about some of you, but when I start to communicate with a guy I like, my mind starts playing all these games and visuals. So anyway, we exchanged numbers, and we had a date planned. We were gonna hang out and actually go on a date. Like a real date, where I pick him up and then we go out to eat and have a few drinks. So Im like YeS!

Anyway, a few days pass and I hear nothing from him, but I still try to maintain some form of communication by sending a couple of texts. Well the day comes, and he totally bails out on me. Which is fine, if you dont want to hang out, cool, onto the next.

So I get him out of my system, but then lo and behold, after a couple of weeks, he says Hi. But all he wants to do is fuck. I guess he was so horny that night. And I said no i cant today.

But the thing that bothered me was the fact that what would've happened if i did say yes to the sex? Clearly, there was an attraction. Did I actually lose the chance to actually get to know this guy? Thats pretty much where all of this is coming from.
 
D

deleted3782

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But the thing that bothered me was the fact that what would've happened if i did say yes to the sex? Clearly, there was an attraction. Did I actually lose the chance to actually get to know this guy? Thats pretty much where all of this is coming from.

Maybe he doesn't want to know you as a friend or a cool guy, he might already have those. Maybe he even has a partner, and just wants a sexy guy to fuck around with on the side.

You will soon drive yourself crazy with all the maybe's. Take another tact. Tell yourself that this guy might not be looking for the same thing you are. His actions sorta bear that out. If you are curious to learn more about him, then give it a try, but do it on your own terms, not his. I'm not sure you would feel good about yourself if you fucked around with this guy to discover he collects quickies around town by loving then leaving. If that's not your cup of tea, then you don't have to drink it.

By not drinking the tea, did you actually get the chance to meet a guy that will make you really happy?
 

AlteredEgo

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So where are you meeting these "first dates?" I think if you make it clear when you ask somebody out or are asked out that you're interested in finding somebody to have a relationship with and that you are looking to take the time to get to know them before juming into bed, that will naturally weed out a lot of bad candidates who are just looking for a quick hook-up. You might try match.com or okcupid, which are geared more toward get-to-know-you kind of dates rather than just hookups. You can also specify in your profile there exactly what you are and are not after. Good luck!
I fucked everyone I met on both of those sites on the first outing. For me, either there's chemistry, or there's not. If there is, I act on it. Why pretend otherwise? Just because I toss some pussy at some one that doesn't mean I'm not still glad to be getting to know them. I'm really pleased to have met a lot of like-minded people over the years.

I also tried to fuck my husband on our first date, but he had an anxiety attack after I blew him.
 

ahornyman30

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i met my boyfriend online we talked online and phone for nine months before we accually met we did end up having sex the first night but at that point i was alredy in love with him i got to know his heart long before i got to his cock which was great
 

buzzrider7

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So the first time you didn't have sex on a first date, you ended up getting married! ;-) I guess in my mind without sex it's a first date, with sex it's just a meaningless hookup.

I fucked everyone I met on both of those sites on the first outing. For me, either there's chemistry, or there's not. If there is, I act on it. Why pretend otherwise? Just because I toss some pussy at some one that doesn't mean I'm not still glad to be getting to know them. I'm really pleased to have met a lot of like-minded people over the years.

I also tried to fuck my husband on our first date, but he had an anxiety attack after I blew him.