Is it a turn on if the bottom doesn't get hard

[554279]

No harm, no foul

But just curious but why you did not post in the ask a Gay or Bisexual Man section as it seems more appropriate there?

 

[Mark5134]

No harm, no foul

But just curious but why you did not post in the ask a Gay or Bisexual Man section as it seems more appropriate there?

True I guess I didn't see that category

 

[insert_8]

does it almost always hurt to be fucked?? I've only ever topped and only a couple of guys have said it hurts, or I need to slow down/ be more gentle - as a top interested to know?

It usually hurts when the cock goes through my sphincter. (The fact that I get fucked very infrequently - once or twice a year - probably contributes to this.) This is actually a significant part of the experience for me - it lets me know that my partner has accepted my invitation and will use my most intimate and personal opening for his pleasure. Most guys pop through rather quickly, causing a short, sharp stab of hurt. There's a fine line between "hurts so good" and "hurts too much". It seems most "right" if I whimper or squeak a little when this happens - if I squeal, it's too painful and I may even have to stop the fuck right then. A few guys go through very slowly, prolonging the discomfort in a very satisfying way.

Once inside I may have painful spasms of my anal muscles for a few seconds. A considerate guy will pause until they pass. The actual fucking doesn't hurt unless he pounds hard or pushes too deep and bottoms out. I may not enjoy it at first if I'm still recovering from a painful insertion. After a while my anus starts to feel raw and irritated - adding lube helps relieve it.

 

[Mark5134]

It usually hurts when the cock goes through my sphincter. (The fact that I get fucked very infrequently - once or twice a year - probably contributes to this.) This is actually a significant part of the experience for me - it lets me know that my partner has accepted my invitation and will use my most intimate and personal opening for his pleasure. Most guys pop through rather quickly, causing a short, sharp stab of hurt. There's a fine line between "hurts so good" and "hurts too much". It seems most "right" if I whimper or squeak a little when this happens - if I squeal, it's too painful and I may even have to stop the fuck right then. A few guys go through very slowly, prolonging the discomfort in a very satisfying way.

Once inside I may have painful spasms of my anal muscles for a few seconds. A considerate guy will pause until they pass. The actual fucking doesn't hurt unless he pounds hard or pushes too deep and bottoms out. I may not enjoy it at first if I'm still recovering from a painful insertion. After a while my anus starts to feel raw and irritated - adding lube helps relieve it.

How deep do you have to go to bottom out ?

 

[deleted1074483]

It usually hurts when the cock goes through my sphincter. (The fact that I get fucked very infrequently - once or twice a year - probably contributes to this.) This is actually a significant part of the experience for me - it lets me know that my partner has accepted my invitation and will use my most intimate and personal opening for his pleasure. Most guys pop through rather quickly, causing a short, sharp stab of hurt. There's a fine line between "hurts so good" and "hurts too much". It seems most "right" if I whimper or squeak a little when this happens - if I squeal, it's too painful and I may even have to stop the fuck right then. A few guys go through very slowly, prolonging the discomfort in a very satisfying way.

Once inside I may have painful spasms of my anal muscles for a few seconds. A considerate guy will pause until they pass. The actual fucking doesn't hurt unless he pounds hard or pushes too deep and bottoms out. I may not enjoy it at first if I'm still recovering from a painful insertion. After a while my anus starts to feel raw and irritated - adding lube helps relieve it.

hey@insert8 that's a really useful description I've not heard that said in that way before thanks

 

[insert_8]

How deep do you have to go to bottom out ?

I haven't figured that out yet. It seems to vary from time to time, and position.

 

[insert_8]

But just curious but why you did not post in the ask a Gay or Bisexual Man section as it seems more appropriate there?

That is logical . . . . but not all guys who fuck other guys in the ass consider themselves "bi" or "gay". This is especially true of married guys who rarely or never get to fuck their wife's ass, but enjoy the sensations (physical and/or mental) of fucking an ass. Most of them get pleasure and satisfaction from topping a guy, yet don't consider themselves "bi" or "gay" because they.have no emotional attachment, or attraction, to men per se. It may be how they rationalize their behavior in light of their ingrained prejudice against bi or gay activities. You can't force yourself to discard centuries of social conditioning just because a sphincter gripping your shaft feels VERY good!

 

[Long Island John]

ive only been fucked a few times but every time I do I always get soft. I'm hard up to the point of being fucked but once he starts to put his cock in me I get soft. I think it's a nervous thing because I'm very tight and it hurts at first until he stretches my ass out. I'm also while he's fucking me. Once he's cum in me then I get hard again. I can't explain it but it always happens.

 

[find83]

To be honest I really don't care if the bottom is hard or not. Some bottoms get hard while getting fucked others don't as long as the dude is enjoying it, it doesn't matter to me. How do I know if he enjoyed it I ask him or by the fact he keeps coming back for more. Not every persons body reacts the same way. I take FOREVER to cum so not gonna shame a dude ( bottom) if his dick isn't hard while I'm fucking him. Anyways I'm more focused on his ass than anything else.

 

[BBB2.5]

I think a persons ass is worlds apart from the cock...different zones..a hard on is not required to feel pleasure...nor to cum. A top will realise this with experience

Excellent reply... a true bottom can get all the pleasure he needs in his ass...no hard on required.

 

[Heat]

"Bottoming" is not just a gay or bi activity, folks!! Geezus, don't read the forums on occasion? Lots of "straight" identifying men on here like their asses worked over by their wives.
In fact, there are a lot of straight guys who "bottom" for their wives -- who use dildos and strap-ons to fuck their holes. Some of them are even into having their female partners fist them. And some like a man to help on occasion, either alone or with the wife/gf.

 

[Heat]

As for this thread: I happen to like a bottom who is "soft" while we're fucking. We can keep the focus on his hole being pleased, as it should be. I will sometimes help the bottom jack off first (or at least get a lot of pre going, which I like to use as lube), before sliding in for kissing and hugging and fucking. On some occasions him cumming will make him think he no longer needs or wants cock in his hole. When that happens, I go down and give his ass a long, deep kiss, work in the spit, then some lube...you can tell he's ready because his legs open wider and wider...and he sort of moans. I like to whisper some filthy talk while I finger him, mixing my spit with some lube. And bingo -- that bottom is ready for cock.

 

[find83]

Excellent reply... a true bottom can get all the pleasure he needs in his ass...no hard on required.

I've know guys to train themselves not to get hard( with cages) so that they only focus on the sensation in their ass. Most are usually trying to get an anal orgasm.

 

[ConorJ]

When I bottom, I usually start out very hard, but it doesn't take long once I have a guy in me to go soft. Seems the bigger the top the quicker it happens for me. Most tops I've been with love the idea that they have managed to fuck the hard-on right out of me. Def has nothing to do with lack of enjoyment, has I usually orgasm & cum.

 

[evolution]

I suspect we are biologically designed to go soft when anal activity occurs. Think of it as a designer, you want the bits & pieces to pull up as small as possible to avoid the expected falling debris from the anus. Flaccid should be the natural default with anal stimulation. Conversely when a guy pees the flaccid penis tends to 'drop' - your flaccid cock gets longer so you don't pee on yourself.

 

[find83]

I suspect we are biologically designed to go soft when anal activity occurs. Think of it as a designer, you want the bits & pieces to pull up as small as possible to avoid the expected falling debris from the anus. Flaccid should be the natural default with anal stimulation. Conversely when a guy pees the flaccid penis tends to 'drop' - your flaccid cock gets longer so you don't pee on yourself.

I little hole in your theory. Then explain guys that can piss with a hard-on and bottoms that are hard during anal?( legit question not trolling or making fun of u, your idea is an interesting on)

 

[Goose_Eggs]

Do you find it a turn on or off if the bottom stays soft while you fuck him?

A "turn off"? No. But I do enjoy playing with a hard cock (or at least a chubbed up semi) while I fuck a guy.

 

[Goose_Eggs]

I think it's related to the fact that it almost always hurts, at least a little, when the cock goes through my sphincter. On a few occasions I have been especially aware of my cock going soft while the top holds his cock just inside the muscle ring. When I get that feeling it's a turn-on for me, even though it may not make me hard again. There may be a mental element involved, knowing that he is about to use my hole for his pleasure. Sometimes I regain at least part of the hardness while he fucks me, especially if he strokes my cock while he fucks.

When I bottom, I agree about the little twinge as he pushes in. I find a hit of poppers just before the plunge helps my ass relax and makes my cock throb, but that's just what works for me. I also like getting stroked or sucked while he fucks me.

 

[evolution]

I little hole in your theory. Then explain guys that can piss with a hard-on and bottoms that are hard during anal?( legit question not trolling or making fun of u, your idea is an interesting on)

Only theories on my part. I would say a guy who can piss with a hard on has a mechanical defect to original design or really needs to piss. We are talking hydraulic pressure here, so at some point the pressure from the bladder will out psi the blood pressure keeping the flow path closed.

I would guess that a guy who can have a hard on during anal sex has unlearned the natural inclination for the cock to deflate. A sort of self re-programming.

 

[hzs3fg]

I've seen a fair amount of amateur gay porn and I would say that in 80% of it the bottom is in some state of flaccid.