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From a biological stand point you are on to something their but I think the re-programming aspect can also ably to a piss hardonOnly theories on my part. I would say a guy who can piss with a hard on has a mechanical defect to original design or really needs to piss. We are talking hydraulic pressure here, so at some point the pressure from the bladder will out psi the blood pressure keeping the flow path closed.
I would guess that a guy who can have a hard on during anal sex has unlearned the natural inclination for the cock to deflate. A sort of self re-programming.