Is it cheating to privately use sex toys?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Drifterwood, Dec 21, 2011.

  1. Drifterwood

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    I have heard some pretty tight definitions of cheating here over the years, looking at porn, looking at other people and thinking about them sexually etc etc, but I can't remember anyone talking about sex toys being cheating.

    :tongue:
     
  2. Remington

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    Me either.

    Although, I would consider "cheating" going against/breaking an agreement in a relationship.

    If sex toys is one of those "taboos" in the relationship, then I guess you could consider it cheating.
     
  3. HunggGreek

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    One person with sex toys = jacking off

    Last I checked, jacking off =/= cheating.
     
  4. Sword_of_Damocles

    Sword_of_Damocles New Member

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    Cheating is defined by what your partner finds unacceptable, no matter how ridiculous or irrational. When in doubt, you should ask them, because it's dangerous to make assumptions.
     
  5. sexplease

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    define: cheating
    If one has an agreement, whether verbal or written and this contract is broken, well then.
    if something is ASSUMED, well then.
     
  6. Drifterwood

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    Some people think it is if you are watching porn to do it, so why not when using a cock shaped dildo or fleshlight. It isn't your cock or vagina.
     
    #6 Drifterwood, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2011
  7. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    ^^this.

    On the other hand my sex toys don't feel cheated on when I use my other sex toys.
    They're a girls best friend.:biggrin1:
     
  8. Drifterwood

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    Can't agree. Do you really allow irrational people to dictate your behaviour?

    Not me. :cool:
     
  9. dolfette

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    it's a pretty fucking moronic definition IMO.

    i would nevr have anything to do with a guy who tried to dictate how i was allowed to touch my own body. i think it's pretty lame and insecure to feel jealous of fingers or a plastic buzz.

    anyway, orgasms are good for your pelvic, prostate and emotional health. it helps with insomnia and stress. it's natural and it's normal.
     
    #9 dolfette, Dec 21, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2011
  10. LUM_1986

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    I would say that in a sexual context, cheating is defined as an act, undertaken by one person sexually, that violates the perceived sexual bond of the other person(s)...

    So, if your partner considers their genitalia to be the only thing that you should need/want, and you replicate it without their consent, that is cheating.

    But thats just how I would stand on the matter... :)

    Also on a personal note, I would be deeply offended by someone using a sex toy, if they thought of me whilst using it or not. I am not just a dick for you to replicate. The second my mind heart and soul aren't in the room when you get your kicks you've objectified me (IMO) and I ain't standing for that... :)
     
  11. sizefreak248

    sizefreak248 Member

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    Seriously? Seriously? Is it cheating when your underwear touches your cock too?
     
  12. _Jonesy

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    Not really, but I would start to worry about the health of the relationship. Especially if it isn't long-distance and this is happening without being upfront and honest about it.

    If she told me she enjoys it, it would be fine. I'd even watch porn with her while she does it if she wants, that'd be hot. But if she feels the need to hide it then there may be underlying issues.

    I wouldn't call it cheating unless emotions are involved. Cheating to me is betrayal, and the agreement involves trusting one anothers emotions to each other. When she/he own those emotions and go to somebody else for sex/other then I consider that an emotional betrayal and that is my definition of cheating because that is how I get hurt.
     
  13. B_thenakedgardener

    B_thenakedgardener New Member

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    Needs to be at least one other person for it to be cheating if its a friend pushing the dildo up your arse then yas
     
  14. Iscream

    Iscream Active Member

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    Every broken promise is not cheating... If you didn't take out the garbage when you said you would...

    In the strictest terms, if you are doing something behind your partner's back it is cheating... if you say you're at work while having coffee and with someone else... and you lie when asked about it, that is cheating. If you are emailing or sharing intimate thoughts with someone else on a one-on-one basis and your partner does not know, that is cheating. You don't have to fuck or suck to cheat.

    That said, I don't think that masturbation is cheating. If you and your partner have discussed how you both think it is wrong and you do it anyway, that is dishonesty. I think interaction with another person is needed for 'cheating' to occur.
     
  15. MickeyLee

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    gave my boy a fleshlight for christmas a couple years back. so.. no. sex toys are not cheating.

    me and the boy have set the cheating line at "any time genitalia gets involved."
    flirting, ogling, glomping, light make-outs are okay.

    to me, the more narrow a person's definition of cheating the more insecure a person comes off as. i wouldn't say in a relationship with someone trying to control me wank-time. is vaguely abusive, and uber red-flaggish.
     
  16. dolfette

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    word.

    most guys can get off easily with a hand shuffle. however a lot of women NEED dildos or vibes to wank to climax. why the hell should we be made to feel guilty just because we might find it a bit harder to O than they do? if i don't use a vibe i end up bruising my clit.

    i don't want my wank time to be a private porn show for my partner because it's so often not about sex. it's my stress relief, my insomnia cure, my hormone regulator.

    i don't O from sex or oral anyway.

    i'm allergic to insecure control freaks. they bring my titties out in hives.
     
  17. avg_joe

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    I want cute white men.
     
  18. D_Judith K Rantz

    D_Judith K Rantz New Member

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    I don't think it is.
     
  19. aninnymouse

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    No, no NO!

    IMO, cheating is breaking what the both of you agree on as boundaries within the relationship. I can't fathom somebody telling their partner they can't masturbate, unless masturbation is interfering with their sex life as a couple; a la Porn addiction.


    That's where couples should communicate, and if someone has an issue, then that says that perhaps the relationship is not on solid footing.

    Hnoestly, most people masturbate at some point. Some people like to use toys. Just human nature. YMMV.
     
  20. dolfette

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    agreed.

    if i decide that looking at a woman's face is cheating, should my partner be labelled a cheat for not walking around with his eyes shut?
     
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