Is it ethical for wealthy people to adopt children from poorer nations?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Principessa, Apr 8, 2009.

  1. Principessa

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    Is it ethical for families from wealthy nations to adopt children from poorer countries?




    Honestly, I never looked at it as a question of ethics. If it were easier and less expensive to adopt American children, then more people would probably do so. As for Madonna's adoption issues, it seems she picks children who have families who are still emotionally attached to them, yet do not have the financial wherewithall to care for them. I don't recall Angelina Jolie and Mia Farrow having these problems. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention back then. :confused:
     
  2. Drifterwood

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    I think that it is an important distinction, orphans Vs. children who can't be cared for by their parents/families. The latter may well have an expectation to grow up in care and be reunited with their families, whilst orphans do not. I also think that young orphans will not have developed a nurtured attachment to their home culture.

    Interesting thread, NJ.
     
  3. Penis Aficionado

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    Or as R.W. Emerson succintly put it, "Your love afar is spite at home."
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    This is interesting I will have to think about this when I'm not half asleep but I somehow remember Mia Farrow actually adopting orphans. Not sure about Mr. and Mrs. Pitt.
     
  5. Principessa

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    Good Point! Until recently I guess I assumed all children in orphanages were orphans. Clearly, I was wrong. :redface: Maybe these countries need to have some sort of rule that only orphans can be adopted.
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

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    Very interesting article and point of view on the writers half. I have no stand point either way. I hope that people whom are adopting these children, are getting them out of the needs of the children.
     
  7. snoozan

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    I'm looking into adoption very seriously and because of some of the shady dealings and corruption in foreign adoptions, I would like to adopt domestically. It's not easy to do, and I will look into international adoption if I have to.

    At the moment, however, I'm just trying to raise the money to be able to adopt, period. It's not an inexpenive thing to do-- it's the equivalent of a downpayment on a house.
     
  8. Lex

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    There are far too many children needing adoption who hardly get adopted for me to place restrictions on anyone (who abides by the legal process) because they are Gay, of color, or rich.

    Many of the places I have worked have included benefits to support adoption--including up to $10,000 of assistance. Good luck with saving up--I know it can be a challenge.
     
  9. joyboytoy79

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    Kind of playing off of snoozan's post a little: I have a better question. I is ethical to have an adoption process that costs a small (or not-so-small) fortune? Some would argue that the cost of adoption ensures that prospective parents are financially capable of raising a child. This may be so, but it may be not so. Consider that the expense of the average adoption is more than $10,000. Then consider that adoption expenses CAN and often DO range upwards of $30-, $40- or even $50- thousand dollars. The ability of a family to raise this type of money doesn't prove that they are financially stable, but more-so that they are of well-above average means.

    Can a single person earning $30,000/year in Decatur Illinois provide for child? Yes. Can a single person earning $30,000/year in Decatur Illinois come up with $30,000 for an adoption? No. And we wonder why so many children remain in fostercare until they emancipate at age 18?
     
  10. Principessa

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    Oh, that's great I wish you luck and no red tape. :cool: You seem like a good mommy. :smile:

    You're correct! Unfortunately. :frown1:It's easier for an American to get into Cuba than it is to adopt a child domestically.
     
  11. midlifebear

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    Hmm. . . I'm all for anyone who wants to and is responsible enough to raise a child to be able to adopt. But adopting a child into a world of obscene wealth for a good education and being part of a multi-ethnic family only to return to their birth parents at 18 or 20 seems very Dickensian.
     
  12. camper joe

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    Understand that Madge is now shopping for kids here.
     

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  13. YourAvgGuy

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    Good luck, Snoozan, and my hats off to you and others who adopt.

    My wife and I are in the process of adopting a 3 yr. old. We were granted full custody 2 weeks ago and were told that the process can be tedious, lengthy, and expensive. It is tedious and it is expensive, however, the judge ordered our process to be swift and immediate. That judgement, according to the attorney, means the process should not take as long.

    The cost associated with adoption is horrendous. It is pricey. It would seem that some legislation would be enacted to assist with families of meager means to aid in the process. Truely this would help deter some of the extremely high cost associated with social services and foster care or those in the system receiving those necessary services. It is all about priorities.....you'd think?!?!?!
     
  14. SpeedoGuy

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    Beware, snoozan. There are at least as many shady dealings in domestic adoption. Maybe even more.

    When my wife and I began considering adoption years ago we were puzzled why so many Americans went overseas to adopt. But after having edured the adoption system as is practiced in the US we now fully understand why overseas adoptions are popular. To make a long story short, the adoption system, as we encountered it, was rigged against the interests of prospective adoptive parents. The process was filled individuals and organizations who were poised to take advantage of the desire of parents to adopt children: double standards, hidden agendas, half-truths, money grubbers, cheaters, liars, and bad faith.

    I'm not saying don't try to adopt. I am saying be very careful and research thoroughly beforehand. Anything that sounds a little hinky probably is. Trust your gut instincts about any situation that requires you commit time, money, and emotional attachment in anything to do with adoptions.
     
  15. SpeedoGuy

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    Priorities indeed.

    Here in Oregon our farsighted legislature in 2005 let expire the meager state income tax credit to partially reimburse families for the considerable costs of adoption. Famliy values, it would seem, is really only a slogan.

    There is a federal tax credit, though, and it helps.
     
  16. snoozan

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    I have a ways to go before I do anything serious. There are a lot of potential roadblocks and the like that I'm already aware of, so I'm trying prioritize things before I make any committment.

    I have had a lot of experience with the social services in my state that deal with small children, and I do have a few contacts that I can call on who have already been very helpful and have recommended agencies and the like.

    I am very wary about the whole thing, to be honest, for the reasons you state and others. I guess I just have to try and see what happens.

    I'm sorry it was such a bad experience for you, SpeedoGuy.
     
  17. Joll

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    I think ol' Madge oughta just look after the kids she's got at the moment, and get back to making a bit of decent music, lol.

    Sponsor a few kids, sure - but then give William Orbit a ring and get ur arse back in the studio. :p
     
    #17 Joll, Apr 12, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2009
  18. b.c.

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    That which you described above is precisely the source of my angst re. adoptions.

    Seems to me that only the famous, politically connected, or the rich have the resources to adopt just about anyone they want with relatively little or no fuss, whereas the average joe has to endure and endless barrage of red tape, inquisitions, recriminations, and bureacrats.
     
  19. SpeedoGuy

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    Adoption is, as we found, like just about everything else in life: money talks. Those with great wealth seem to be able to sidestep the adoption hassles just like first class fliers can use their own special security line and avoid the TSA strip searches the rest of us must endure while travelling.

    But what chapped my ass about the process was not necessarily the costs or the bureaucratic hoop-jumping. I expected those and thus wasn't really surprised when they arrived in spades. No, what frosted me most was the callous indifference with which we and other potential adoptive parents were treated by the adoption industry, including officials in adoption non-profits and religious charities. They all had an angle or a hidden agenda to play and potential adoptive parents usually arrive naively ripe for the picking.

    Adoptive parents get financially and emotionally used and abused by the adoption system. They're treated as little more than commodities by the shot callers who run the game, Over the several years we were involved in adoption we were treated as such and we observed other couples strained financially and nearly brought to ruin emotionally. Some finally quit, childless, after having had their hearts broken several times and fruitlessly wasting tens of thousands of dollars (for which there will be zero compensation). We were almost among that group.

    And the adoption system couldn't give a rip about any of them. If the hopes and dreams of waiting parents get crushed by the biases and unfairness of the system, well, there's plenty of others out there who'll take their place and be fleeced just as easily.

    I realize my experiences with domestic adoption are quite a bummer. Other adoptive parents may have had a different tale to tell. Further, I don't want my bad experiences to dissuade other interested parents from trying to adopt. There are plenty of children who need it. I do, however, want potential adoptive parents to realize that the domestic adoption system, as we encountered it, is every bit as perilous as swimming in a sea full of sharks.
     
  20. SpeedoGuy

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    That's encouraging. Savvy contacts in social services are a valuable resource.

    Curiously enough, my wife and I got our best advice and the most honesty from the State of Oregon social services workers we dealt with. Yup, those underpaid and overworked state employees served as our best friends through the process. They didn't try to sugarcoat situations or mislead us. They didn't push hidden agendas or charge fees-for-service.

    They just helped get kids adopted.


    Thanks. For all my gripes, it did end successfully for us. Its just that my heart still goes out to those who the system ran roughshod over.
     
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