Is it ethical to start seeing my FwB's friend?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by eyescream, Jan 25, 2010.

  1. eyescream

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    My FwB's friend has been my friend for years. So like, we're all friends. Recently, he asked me out and he doesn't know that my FwB and I are doing what we're doing.

    My problem though is if my FwB would be okay with it. Should this be something I talk to him about (i.e. if he's okay with me and his friend doing it) or is it none of either guys' business whether I'm screwing both of them?
     
  2. RedScrotum

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    He' s a FWB, nothing more. Does he have other FWBs that he's discussed with you?IMO... enjoy all there is out there
     
  3. Snakebyte

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    Might be awkward for both of them. If they are friends they will find out sooner or later that you're doing both of them. So probably not a good idea to keep it secret if you decide to two-time.
     
  4. lewis27529

    lewis27529 Member

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    OK guys... educate me here. What's a FWB?
     
  5. eyescream

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    I don't know if he's doing other people but I do believe it's his business who he has sex with. Normally, I'd think it's none of his business who I'm having sex with but in this case, because it's his friend who he gets to see almost every day, it might be a little awkward.

    This is going to be a tough one, especially because I like to keep who I'm doing private.
     
  6. Enid

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    Well my two pennies is that if he's a FRIEND-with-benefits, then just talk to him about it. He should be cool & admire your honesty and casual attitude. If he's more of a FB/fuck buddy then I think it's your business who you see besides him.

    I don't do these types of relationships so my idea of how the protocol works is based on my friends' experiences with such situations.


    p.s. Lewis -- FWB is friends-with-benefits and FB is a fuck buddy.
     
    #6 Enid, Jan 25, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2010
  7. eyescream

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    Sorry about that, I mean 'friends with benefits' aka 'fuck buddy who is also my friend'.

    Yup, he is one of my closest male friends. I guess I will have to talk to him about it. He won't have a say in it, but it will be his decision if he wants to keep on doing it with me or if he wants to stop doing it altogether.

    Thanks.
     
    #7 eyescream, Jan 25, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2010
  8. Chase1600

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    Fascinating question. I wouldn’t say it poses an ethical issue, but why quibble about words; it is a trust issue. Don’t you think FWB’s are very special relationships? I think they can be wonderful. There’s something charmingly intimate about having so familiar a relationship without wanting to fall for one another.

    We get to know some very private things about each other without the complication of having to share responsibilities of committed relationships.

    My experience is that the other side of the coin of knowing neither of you will make a commitment, is trusting that each of you will be flawlessly honest.

    If you have not yet started seeing your FWB’s friend, but you want to, I would put it on hold until you and the FWB discuss it. Of course it is implied either of you can see someone else and either might one day end it. But this isn’t just any “other person” if this is the FWB’s friend – especially if you met through the FWB.

    Besides, a FWB doesn’t have to know who you are seeing, but can presume to know if you are seeing others and if any implications of health should be considered.

    Each of you would expect as much of the other.
     
  9. eyescream

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    I wanted to tell him (my FwB) about it. But I'm having second thoughts. We have an agreement to keep our sexual relationship a secret so people only know that what we are to each other are friends.

    That said, I'm thinking of having the same agreement with his friend (who is also my friend). I'm certain that I won't be the one telling anyone that I'm involved with both of them. So unless either of them tells the other one or tells their mutual friend(s) the secret is safe and nobody has to know.
     
  10. Chase1600

    Chase1600 Member

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    Can't say I agree with you, but what's life if it isn't lived on the edge? I'll be cheering for you.
     
  11. big george

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    Maybe they're adventuresome and you could have them both at the same time... i've done it and its worked out great.
     
  12. Snakebyte

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    Well, you can't be 100% sure that none of both tells the other. If they find out it could destroy your friendship as well as theirs. May sound like a stupid question. But why do you need two fuck buddies?
     
  13. eyescream

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    Because I'm physically attracted to both guys. If I was attracted to only one, I'd be in a relationship and I wouldn't be doing this whole FwB thing. I guess that's what makes this quite ethical.

    If either one of them had feelings for me then seeing them both would be a horrible thing. I've expressed myself loud and clear to both guys; that I'm not looking for anything serious and both are okay with it.

    I'm being as honest as I can be here, hurt feelings will arise only if THEY are not being honest with me. If any one of them had feelings for me, I would not be seeing the other one.

    That's what I was thinking! Except I don't know how I'm going to actually form that suggestion into a sentence and then present it.:cool:
     
  14. helgaleena

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    Listen to Hootie. It's worked for me too.
     
  15. Pitbull

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    psst - not Hootie - they just have the same avitar
     
  16. helgaleena

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    oops yes, that seems to be big george. Thanks Pitbull.
     
  17. D_Sir Fitzwilly Wankheimer III

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    how do you know your fwb is'nt fwb with his friend?
     
  18. eyescream

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    Honestly, I wouldn't really know if they were. But they're both straight guys and they don't hang out as often anymore...but it would be hot if they were though. They should certainly let me know!

    Tonight's the night when I'm going to talk to my FwB about it hopefully. I don't know how I'm going to introduce this weird topic into the conversation.

    Like "okay here's the thing...I'm thinking of seeing your friend". This is going to be awkward.
     
  19. Principessa

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    IMHO: This has disaster written all over it. It's like asking if you can wear Daisy Dukes to your job at the accounting office. You already know in your head the answer is no; but you want it to be yes, so you ask a bunch of people who clearly have even less sense then you for their opinion in hopes someone will agree with you. :rolleyes:

    FWIW: FwB and ethics do not belong in the same sentence. :no:
     
  20. D_Polyxena Pasties

    D_Polyxena Pasties New Member

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    If your FWB is an actual friend, then yeah talk to him about it. If not, no worries.
     
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