Is it hard for you to hold back?

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by Imported, Jan 5, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    roedhunt: As I posted on another topic, a good friend of mine confessed he was long (11 inches).Being naturally curious and a non-believer, I asked if I could measure it, never seeing one as well. He was, and I told him I felt sorry for him. Of course shocked to hear THAT kind of response, he asked why. I told him it must be awful for him to not get complete satisfaction of going all the way in...Since most women wouldnt be able to handle it... Plus, I cant even begin to imagine what it would feel like to meet a woman and know that if you have sex together, you might cause her pain instead of pleasure. I knew I hit a sore part, because he started to cry.

    I was wondering, do any of you go thru these emotions or anxieties before sleeping with someone new?
     
  2. Max

    Max New Member

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    Roedhunt,

    Just about the most important sort of topic we ever deal with here, I think. I can fully identify with your friend's feelings. Since I am a middle-aged married guy (and faithful), it is a long time since I went through those "emotions and anxieties" before sleeping with someone new ... but YES! This sort of anxiety is what got under my skin as a teenager and young guy (fuelled by some mostly well meaning but unthinking comments and advice from other people).

    In a typically male way in the end I think you have to analyse the problem and separate out the issues.

    If he is gentle with a new partner any overendowed man will be dealing with the challenge of his girth and initial insertion first, long before any real length comes into play. The gentleness and gradualness and the holding back in the period when she is adjusting to him may be very frustrating to a man whose urge is just to let rip, but I also think this period of adjustment is just about the sexiest thing that ever happened to me. Looking back to it still turns me on. You can't go wrong by being too slow, though I think you may not be able to avoid causing a little pain, however gentle you may be.

    Later you discover the real limits to penetration of your partner, and can compensate with choice of positions, and/or aids like donuts, pillows, etc.

    But the bottom line has to be, for a guy like your friend; when a woman falls for him, she will not let his size put her off ... that lesson was one of the best I ever had to learn. :)
     
  3. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    the pain behind your eyes
    Roedhunt, maybe its the lack of coffeee for me this morning, but are you saying he was 11 inches soft or hard? Because I've known of guys who at exactly 11 who've accomodated women , and then some.
     
  4. Imported

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    Donk: I have been faithfully with my longterm gf for over 2 years now, so it's been a while since I slept with someone new and it may be that I never will again. But, like Max said, the basic answer is, yes, there was some anxiety whenever I was about to sleep with someone new. There were two factors there really: (1) would she just freak out and refuse even to try, since I have had that reaction from a handful of girls, and (2) even if she was willing, would she have trouble taking it and would she be understanding of special considerations like the need to take care in achieving entry, etc. But for me this anxiety has never been overwhelming--certainly nothing that would make me break down and cry--and was somewhat offset by the excitement I got from anticipating a positive reaction when she saw it for the first time. I feel like whatever anxiety I must have had must pale in comparison to the anxiety that guys with very small penises must go through. (It's hard to explain but, while no one likes rejection, I would frankly rather be rejected for having too much than too little.)

    The other part of your question/comment seems to be asking if it's frustrating to have to hold back during intercourse when you have excess length. I would say that there is some validity to this idea, but I am so used to it that it really just seems normal to me. My penis has been 11" long during practically my entire sexual life, so that is just the way sex is. It's not like I was used to thrusting away madly with a 6 incher and then woke up one day with 5 extra inches to contend with.

    If anything, my gf tells me I sometimes hold back too much. By now, she has gotten to where she accomodates my penis really well and, by instinct, I am sometimes more careful than I really need to be with her. She loves it when I let loose and frequently she can even take in my entire length. Though I have noticed that there are times when she thinks she is taking it all, but she really isn't. :)
     
  5. benderten2001

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    [quote author=Donk link=board=sex;num=1073280545;start=0#3 date=01/05/04 at 06:13:58]

    "... I feel like whatever anxiety I must have had must pale in comparison to the anxiety that guys with very small penises must go through. (It's hard to explain but, while no one likes rejection, I would frankly rather be rejected for having too much than too little.)..."

    [/quote]

    Donk, I think (and I KNOW) that you're absolutely right.

    But, I have to wonder, though.

    We have so many readers here who are at average or below, and while they might be "wishing to be bigger" WOULD they still trade now---having learned some of the limitations from being well-hung (or super) endowed?

    You know, a guy "having to hold back" and "be more careful" is not all that easy at the very out-set! It's really asking a man to break away from his natural instinct in some ways. Why, (once in position) we tend to be "raring to go" and "have at it"...except obviously we larger guys can't (necessarily). Plus, consider the (other) limitations, restrictions, challenges, etc. we have with being "big" such as the risk of "bottoming out" (i.e. hitting the cervix, etc.) and the disappointment sometimes in certain fellatio attempts. It seems in many ways, it's really alot for a guy to get used to. --Quite a paradox, really. One would think that being super-hung, a guy would "have it made in the shade".
    That's not always the case. Like everything else in life, there's always a price to be paid. However, would those of us (who are larger) want anything LESS than what we have in our bigger size? --Nope.
    Most PROBABLY not. Likely-- NOT ever! (bar only for a few rare exceptions.)

    And, yet, guys equipped in the average range don't have all these concerns and they don't have to worry quite as much. But just try to convince them of that!
    Do the facts we tell 'em here in the LPSG change their minds one bit? Would they rather be where they are now (at average) than have all these limitations we speak of by being hung?

    ----Nah. ;) Of course not!

    (This is such deep stuff here, folks!)

    roedhunt, you raised this great question about "holding back". And, in a earlier thread, you noted how much you're learning from us men....(probably how complicated we are!)

    If nothing else, you're finding out how our penises can absolutely drive us crazy.....all our lives! :)

    --one way or another!

    And, we just love it.....(somehow), don't we guys?
     
  6. Imported

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    belcurv: This is so funny. The person who posted this admits in another area on the board that after she told him she felt sorry for him, she offered to "try." It reminds me of an old John Holmes movie I saw way back where he tries to get the girl to feel sorry for him because his penis is too big, and of course gets laid as a result of it. My wife had the same experience with a man who she described as "a horse", so big she couldn't get in any more than the top couple inches, and it was a feat even to do that. She had seen his highly visible bulge when he was wearing shorts, and heard from a coworker that he was as huge as he appeared, and got into a conversation with him about it... of course this led to him acting all sorry for himself and her having to "convince" him that it was a positive, not a negative.
    Which would you prefer: being so huge that all these women keep wanting to "try", or being average or small and having NO women want anything to do with your penis? I don't feel sorry for these guys. Eventually with all the opportunities their big penises win for them, they will find several women with accomodating vaginas, and have the continuous ego trip of being desired by many, many women. The ultimate fantasy of most single men, who go without or have to work their asses off to find sex partners.
     
  7. Imported

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    zaneblue: Man, I knew I shouldn't have come here, it's getting my dander up. Nothing wrong with a small penis, as long as it's not a micropenis where it can't hit anything. Last sex I had was with a guy who was about four inches long with circumference in proportion, maybe three or four inches around. He was the smallest I've ever been with, but I got on top of him and rode him and it was great. He wasn't long enough to hit my cul-de-sac, but he was just the right length to hit my G-spot, no contortions necessary, and I came numerous times. Big cocks are fun, small cocks are fun--cocks are just plain fun. Any woman who rules out a man because of small dick size is foolish.
     
  8. Imported

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    wvalady1968: [quote author=zaneblue link=board=sex;num=1073280545;start=0#6 date=01/06/04 at 11:21:07]Any woman who rules out a man because of small dick size is foolish.[/quote]

    Smart lady!! I would only edit that to say,
    Any woman who rules out a man because of dick size [period] is foolish.
    Welcome to the forum!!
    Stay and post often!

    Allie
    :-*
     
  9. Imported

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    roedhunt: This is so funny. The person who posted this admits in another area on the board that after she told him she felt sorry for him, she offered to "try."

    I knew this man for a year before he confessed to me regarding this. I saw him have several women, so he had no problem getting women. He was a very confident man, who never let emotions show. So when he indeed cried, I knew right away he was sincere. I have hung around many men and can tell right away if he is a player, con artist or user. (all the same if you ask me) In fact many men wont even try with me because they KNOW I can see right through their games.

    I was also curious to find out "when he knew" that he was bigger than the average man. He said he was really young and he was watching a porn with other guyfriends. They made a comment about how one of them in the movie was huge. To which he replied, "no he's not". Since that time, he began to "notice" other men.

    Which brings me to another question:

    When did you first realize you were above average?
     
  10. Imported

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    Donk: [quote author=roedhunt link=board=sex;num=1073280545;start=0#8 date=01/06/04 at 20:59:02]
    Which brings me to another question:

    When did you first realize you were above average?[/quote]

    Somewhere there is actually an old and very long thread on this topic. If you really want to explore it, you will find plenty of reading material if you dig it up.

    Since this also happens to be one of my favorite topics, I'll repeat the short version of my own "realization" story here. (It's actually not very dramatic, though it was to me at the time.) I was 14, jacking off, and realized my penis seemed bigger to me than I remembered it. I measured it at 7" hard. I had read somewhere that 6" was average for a grown man, so I knew it was bigger than average. It was a huge shock to me since I was always the smallest guy in my class in terms of height. At the time, it was a thrill just to know I was bigger than average, but I had no idea that it ultimately would grow 4 more inches.
     
  11. Imported

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    zaneblue: [quote author=wvalady1968 link=board=sex;num=1073280545;start=0#7 date=01/06/04 at 16:58:54]

    Smart lady!! I would only edit that to say,
    Any woman who rules out a man because of dick size [period] is foolish.
    Welcome to the forum!!
    Stay and post often!

    Allie
    :-*
    [/quote]

    Thanks for the welcome! I'm sort of an informal Dr. Ruth, have an orgasmic sex diet and answer lots of questions about sex on other boards. I recommended this board to someone with questions and started reading up on the recent posts to make sure I didn't steer her wrong, when I came across nowoonder's posts and had a burning desire to question him about something. But my post got banished to the Personals section where he probably won't see it.

    Big dick sex isn't my area of expertise, but I do know everything there is to know about female sexual dysfunction and how to treat it. Also know quite a bit about tantra and prolonging ejaculation in men. I started posting at the small dick website because my diet also involves PC muscle exercise, which gives women the option of tightening things up down there voluntarily, like a hand.
     
  12. Max

    Max New Member

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    [quote author=belcurv link=board=sex;num=1073280545;start=0#5 date=01/06/04 at 06:45:50] ... Which would you prefer: being so huge that all these women keep wanting to "try", or being average or small and having NO women want anything to do with your penis? I don't feel sorry for these guys. Eventually with all the opportunities their big penises win for them ... .[/quote]

    belcurv,

    Agreed. Some well endowed men may use their size and play on it in the way you describe, partly by inventing anxieties and asking for help with them.

    BUT there are guys whose anxieties are genuine --I know because in my teens and early 20s I was one of them. Roedhunt has met another, and there are plenty of others here who have been there at some time or another. Maybe this is most typically the case with an inexperienced man ... all he has to go on is what he has managed to pick up from books, and comments from guys with more experience. It was like that with me. I have mentioned before a couple of comments I got around age 16 or 17 ... "How will you get that inside a woman?", "You had better start by going in soft". There were others. None of them were much help.

    And of course it is true that some very big men will have real problems with small-built partners -- not all the anxieties prove groundless.


    In answer to roedhunt's question, I will add my answer to Donk's. A medic's comments to my parents when I was about 7 first made me realise I was big, but it was only when puberty struck that I started paying real attention to the fact. ;)
     
  13. jonb

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    Well, I always start with a lot of foreplay. Not enough to make her cum, but enough to get her ready. (If she's too tender, which can happen if she cums too many times, it'll hurt even more than if I'd just gone in.)

    Another thing I like to do is compensate with choice of positions. Unfortunately, this leaves me feeling out in the cold. I usually start with something that leaves a lot of it out in the cold, and eventually move on to extra.

    If she ever says it hurts, I just pull out and let my tongue bring her all the way (if she hasn't cum already). After she goes to sleep, I just go in the bathroom and beat off. Or if we're doing it in more exotic locales, I'll beat off after she's home.
     
  14. Imported

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    roedhunt: But doesnt that ruin YOUR sexual satisfaction? It must be awful to hold back a mans natural instinct to get wild like a beast and refrain yourself. And IMO, it must be an emotional as well.. wondering if you will cause the one you love pain....
     
  15. grnman

    grnman Well-Known Member

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    It took me a long time to learn how to keep from going over the edge too soon while exploring a woman's vagina. I used to do sort of exercises where I would jack-off to the point of orgasm, and then try to prevent myself from going over the edge. I think this has something to do with the PC-muscle.

    My problem when I first had sex was that you just want to put it all the way in when at orgasm, so keeping a respectible distance took practice. I know some guys use those doughnut things, which I have used a couple times. But, I don't like those; I like it to be more organic. But then, it is more challenging. Although, sometimes having my partner hold me near the base or me doing it can helps to prevent excessive penetration at orgasm.

    Having once had a woman that could take all of me I know how enjoyable full penetration at orgasm is. And, I like the feeling of being physically very close to my partner, so the temptation is always there. Holding back is very challenging for me, but I am well practiced at it, so it has become sort of second nature.
     
  16. Max

    Max New Member

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    [quote author=roedhunt link=board=sex;num=1073280545;start=0#13 date=01/15/04 at 03:13:24]But doesnt that ruin YOUR sexual satisfaction? It must be awful to hold back a mans natural instinct to get wild like a beast and refrain yourself. And IMO, it must be an emotional as well.. wondering if you will cause the one you love pain....[/quote]

    Roedhunt ... it seems to me you have an uncanny insight into what it can feel like. ;)

    It doesn't IMHO 'ruin' sexual satisfaction, but this sort of anxiety and the need for restraint can certainly put you on edge.
     
  17. Imported

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    roedhunt: Thank you for that compliment.

    The men I have been with, always went all the way in... Sometimes they tried to go further than they were physically capable. :D The majority of the men were below/average/slightly above average. Except from that one time I mentioned on the other post, I never had a steady lover who was big (long). I never gave much thought to long penises (let alone even knowing they existed), until that night. So my thinking was (to me) logical. The emotional frustration. Knowing the pain you will cause if you don't control yourself. To me, sex is not about control. It's the only time you can really let go and be like animals... I mean, come on, ever hear of proper manners in bed when both of you are completely naked? Of course not. We let our animal instincts come out and play.

    So I feel for each and every one of you. :'(
     
  18. Imported

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    Donk: [quote author=roedhunt link=board=sex;num=1073280545;start=0#16 date=01/19/04 at 01:25:37] I mean, come on, ever hear of proper manners in bed when both of you are completely naked? [/quote]

    Well, whenever I hear the term "casual sex" it always makes me think that the opposite must be "formal sex." :)
     
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