Is it HARD to have a big dick and be submissive?

[orgasmcontroller]

I'm a new member here. I'm in NYC and get into bondage as a top. The problem is that I'm an average-looking guy, a little overweight, with an average dick (at best), yet I'm attracted to big-dicked men & musclemen (how unusual THAT is for a gay man, huh?).

I always have difficulty finding men who are hung and/or muscular but want to be submissive. I'm writing this to try to find guys, but also to ask those of you who've been "gifted" but like to be submissive: DO YOU FEEL PRESSURED TO BE A TOP, OR EMBARRASSED ABOUT BEING A BOTTOM BECAUSE YOUR DICK SIZE MAKES PEOPLE THINK YOU HAVE TO BE A TOP?

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[Industrialsize]

I have no problem being submissive, and I think i have a BIG dick.....it's attitude, not size

 

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

Versatile here. I have no problem topping or being a bottom-depending on the situation. I also don't think muscles or dick size make one submissive or dominant.

 

[Nitrofiend]

I'm 40% submissive.

 

[catman]

Not at all- have heard an expression with several friends...

"Bigger the dick, bigger the bottom"

For me, IF I am going to get fucked- I prefer a(nother) big man...bigger the better....

 

[DaMoose]

I'm a lot bigger then my boyfriend, and while I'm not into the complete dominatrix stuff, I would love for my boyfriend to just take me over. He prefers me to work him though, so being a pleaser, I oblige. I've been hearing the same thing that cat man said..."Bigger the dick, bigger the bottom."

MOOSE

 

[SoLowHung]

The brain makes the submissive not the tools. Said with respect - do you think that the body you are attracted to also intimidates you enough to not give off as much of a natural dominant scent as needed to define the role?

 

[hotman911]

Im Vers so I can top or bottom but if im on the bottom you better be willing to do me right.

 

[Kimahri]

I'm mostly a top. The whole submissive thing fascinates me. It's funny, I get into trouble in my platonic life because my mind / personality resists being told what to do so much. That's not to say I am uber butch, just a regular guy. But I can't wrap my mind around wanting to be submissive with another person, least of all another guy. That competitive behavior is still left over from my days as a sports player. That being said, as I mentioned, I have a fascination with it. I've tried it on a couple of occassions with mixed results.

No, I don't think having a big dick or muscles makes it hard to be submissive. You should see some of the guys I've dealt with over the years. I know when I lived in DC though, a big complaint was all of the big dicked bottoms there were, so maybe there is something to what Cat said.

 

[Industrialsize]

food for thought:....being a top or bottom has NOTHING to do with being dominant/submissive

 

[Industrialsize]

Versatile here. I have no problem topping or being a bottom-depending on the situation. I also don't think muscles or dick size make one submissive or dominant.

I'd be glad to be dominated by you rico, in any way you want

 

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

food for thought:....being a top or bottom has NOTHING to do with being dominant/submissive

I agree totally with my dream man!! I find it funny that there are certain expectations that go along with the top/bottom/submissive/dominant thing. I think sex should be natural and whatever goes, flows. I think it is really hot to top for a while, roll over and let my partner top for a while and go back and forth. And that folks is my two cents on the topic..:smile: I would like to see Oprah or Dr. Phil cover this one on their show.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

no

 

[thecokecankid]

i cant imagien being submissive if i were gay, my little dick boyfriend fucking me up the asshole when im the one with the equipment.... thats just not right. besides IF i were gay i would want to be as least gay as possible whilst being gay, and as they say your only gay if you take it.. so i will be more inclined to NEVER take it. i will be in the role of GIVING it. cos that aint really super gay, that can be just abusing someone lol. like in prison. be it male, female, or animal, your just dicking the shit out of somthing. not nessecerly "gay". altho of course it would be gay, and im speaking in terms of the event, IF i were.

but yeah ive never thought about the logistics of being gay like this, gays do have to kind of decide a "top" and a "bottom", even if they rotate the roles you could say its just a concequence of "democracy", there will always be the "actual" top and the "actual" bottom... right? just like with lesbians, you kind of ask "whose the man?" cos you know thats how that works..

but with hetrosex, even if the woman is a dominanat satanist, and her hubby is a quite unassuming humble modest subbmissive even small dicked man, at the end of the day he still wears the trousers, anatomy has decided he has the fuck stick. but with gays you both have fuck sticks and only one can be fucked at a time and whoever is the one getting fucked is the bitch...

anyways is there such a thing as a gay relationship with 2 guys who do 50% top and bottom...

in brokeback mountain who was the top? was it heman ledger or jake jellyhole?

 

[rob_just_rob]

As a former submissive, I would say yes. A lot of my former partners wanted me to dominate them, the "throw me down and fuck me hard" stereotype.

 

[HaagenDazs]

i cant imagien being submissive if i were gay, my little dick boyfriend fucking me up the asshole when im the one with the equipment.... thats just not right. besides IF i were gay i would want to be as least gay as possible whilst being gay, and as they say your only gay if you take it.. so i will be more inclined to NEVER take it. i will be in the role of GIVING it. cos that aint really super gay, that can be just abusing someone lol. like in prison. be it male, female, or animal, your just dicking the shit out of somthing. not nessecerly "gay". altho of course it would be gay, and im speaking in terms of the event, IF i were.

but yeah ive never thought about the logistics of being gay like this, gays do have to kind of decide a "top" and a "bottom", even if they rotate the roles you could say its just a concequence of "democracy", there will always be the "actual" top and the "actual" bottom... right? just like with lesbians, you kind of ask "whose the man?" cos you know thats how that works..

but with hetrosex, even if the woman is a dominanat satanist, and her hubby is a quite unassuming humble modest subbmissive even small dicked man, at the end of the day he still wears the trousers, anatomy has decided he has the fuck stick. but with gays you both have fuck sticks and only one can be fucked at a time and whoever is the one getting fucked is the bitch...

anyways is there such a thing as a gay relationship with 2 guys who do 50% top and bottom...

in brokeback mountain who was the top? was it heman ledger or jake jellyhole?

...wow, lol.

I'm not even gay and I think that's a bit too one sided an appraisal. Someone who is gay could probably better explain the dynamics of that lifestyle's sexuality but still...lol. this seems like a more black and white description of things.

But then again considering that men who allow themselves to be fucked in anal sex might have larger penises, and yet still find it easy to be submissive maybe you're right...but don't some of them still have some agressitivity?

hmmm....I don't know

**Scratches head**

 

[HaagenDazs]

It is hard to have a big dick and be submissive. Yea I would think. The user above said something about homosexual sex. That could be an example of how it might be easy to be submissive.

As for heterosexual sex, I'm not sure. Most dudes with big dicks want to use them. I know I do. I can't speak for anyone else, but it would be hard for me to be submissive.

 

[lemont77]

It's not hard for me at all! However, submissive is a relative term. I like for my wife to take control, but we don't do pain (except when first getting me in her...that hurts us both, a little). But when my wife puts a hand to my shoulder, pushes me to my back, climbs on top and grabs me and squeezes me inside her...WOW! I'm all about that! I love watching her use me to pleasure herself. There are times, though, that I lay her down and go to town, but not often...it's more painful for her, sometimes.

 

[PowayWolfman]

I got a frend whos dick is just HUGE! hes 6'6 260lbs and his cock is nearly soda can thick and as long as mine. but hes a TOTAL bottom and sub. ALl i have to do is touch him and he rolls over for me XD. Its kinda funny to see someone as short as me (5'6) out muscel a guy that big XD (and yes, im ALOT stronger than he is)

Although i will admit this, Hes alot of fun to snuggle ontop of. because of our boy size, he cant realy get comfie with sleepitng otop of me, se we switch

 

[DaMoose]

Getting it in the ass doesn't dignify you as any less of a man, or any more of a "gay". I don't know if by submissive you meant recieve, I assumed the one doing less work. First guy I was with was 6'7" with a penis as long as my forearm, and he bottomed.

Size doesn't make you a catcher or a pitcher, it's what you like. I've tried bottoming for my boyfriend, but neither one of us enjoy it, we just enjoy the roles we've been. I'm bigger than my current boyfriend.

Some gay couples will rotate roles, some will primarily be on or the other, and some will remain what they've been since they knew they liked boys, lol. We usually get comments that neither one of use seem gay, or to take it.

I've never seen Brokeback Mountain, but if I were to generalize I would bet Ledger is the top, but submissive, and Gyllenhal would be the power bottom (aggressive bottom).

MOOSE