Is it homophobia...?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Maxime_, Feb 26, 2010.

  1. Maxime_

    Maxime_ New Member

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    I recently have questioned much about other men's behaviour towards me. I have noticed a few situations that i really don't understand. I'll make a few examples:

    1- In my gym,we have 3 common shower places and others which are closed and individual. I always shower in the common one,since i like showing off a bit and do not have problems in standing naked in front of other guys. It seems like guys have been noticing that i have a big cock;i see their surprised expressions sometimes and my friends do joke about this fact with me,also in the locker room. There is a straight guy their who is a friend's friend. I have realized that he tends to take the shower before i do,even though we end training at the same time. If i go first,he seems to waste time so that i come out of the shower and only then he goes into it. It has happened that i get into the common shower when he is there too and he then shows he is not at ease and quickly quits the shower. I thought he might be just shy. But he always stands naked when alone under the shower,and also in the shower that is the most visibile from the locker room. He is also big enough and seems to feel bad only when i reach him. When other guys are there with him he's ok and spends much time under it. He knows i like men so i wonder if it is just homophobia but....why do straight guys think that if they are naked in front of gays,they are in danger? I mean....people do not jump over you and fuck you in the lockers,nor wherever. Things are made in two,not alone.

    2- I had to spend recently some time in an hotel with a group of co-workers. One of them was supposed to stay in my same room. He said to the principal,that he was not very glad of this fact and that he would prefer someone else. So he went and stayed with another straight guy. He is straight too,knows I'm gay and knows i have a big cock. A friend told me he didn't want to spend the night in my same room because he was afraid of my dick and of getting fucked....

    What do you think?i don't understand this behaviour. How can a straight guy be afraid of a gay's big cock? how can one think that only because i like men,then i am gonna put them in danger and fuck them?is this pure homophobia? I guess that if someone is sure about being straight, he shouldn't worry too much about standing naked in front of a gay guy(in a common and public situation) or sleeping with them....I mean,we do not jump over guys like this....and if one does,you just tell him you don't want and they stop.
    I'd like some opinions about those things and i'd like to know if anyone had similar experiences...
     
  2. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    Straight guys are probably looking at it in the way they would be if you were female. Probably they would enjoy showering with a female and would love to watch her, perhaps they feel watched by gay guys because they are male and therefore the object of your sexual attraction.
     
  3. BigDallasDick8x6

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    In scenario # 1, I think he doesn't like the comparison. If he's the biggest dude there, he's willing to swing it publicly. When a bigger guy (you) shows up, he leaves in a hurry. This does happen with a lot of guys. They don't like to be shown up.

    For # 2, yeah I'd have to say it was because you were gay. But look at it this way, if he had stayed he might have been teased forever about spending the night in your hotel room. You wouldn't expect a woman to room with a man, so I don't think you should expect a str8 guy to room with a gay guy. I personally don't think I'd be offended by that. I'd just be glad that I had a room to myself and everyone else had to share!
     
  4. Maxime_

    Maxime_ New Member

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    Yes but this is something stupid. It supposes that gay men like every man in the world and need to look at any of them....and then straight guys look much too,and i feel watched by them the same way....and if,for example the problem is the fact that i watch,the first guy would use a closed individual shower,and the second one could sleep in my room without strolling around the room naked or in underwear....this is homophobia for me!
    By the way,mitch,i hope you're ok!:)
     
  5. Maxime_

    Maxime_ New Member

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    But this means that straight guys do look at gays as females which is really untrue...we are made the same. We share locker rooms,public toilets....we are not different,or we would be going in the ladies'. We like SOME men but we're not women. And i personally wouldn't be disrespectful with a guy who shares my room or the shower. If one doesn't like men,i don't make any attempt on his virility....we're not horny beasts wanting cocks of any kind all the time,and we ARE NOT WOMEN! we are men just like the others!
     
  6. eyescream

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    I suppose it's homophobia to a certain extent. I don't think it's got anything to do with you having a big dick to be honest.

    I have nothing against gay guys but I wouldn't blame a straight guy if he wasn't comfortable being around a gay guy in the showers.

    It's almost for the same reason that straight men and women don't share public bathrooms.

    As a straight woman, I know how many straight guys think. If I were showering naked in front of them, they would be checking me out (Likewise, if I were in a shower room full of naked men I would be checking some of them out).

    When I'm not interested in a guy, I don't want him to check me out at all because it leans towards perversion. So many straight guys probably don't want you to look at them in that way because they're not comfortable with it.
     
  7. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    How are they to know whether they are or are not attractive to you?
    They may be perfectly comfortable in their own skin to shower in front of other guys but in walks a gay bloke and it can cause unease because they are not to know if you are 'watching' or if you don't care. If they knew you did'nt fancy them then they would probably relax....possibly.

    And thanx maxime, i'm fine, you too i trust.
     
  8. eyescream

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    If they did, they would be comfortable having you around.:biggrin1:

    It's more of a one-way street in this case.
     
  9. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    Perhaps they are worried you might practice a pirohette in the shower and end up sticking your toe somewhere?
     
  10. Maxime_

    Maxime_ New Member

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    Sincerely,i never look at them or "check them out" openly. I look at them as any straight guy would....well my thoughts are maybe gay,but i do respect them and not for sure make them feel uncomfortable.
    I think it is just a question of prejudice. Even if I were attracted by one of them,would it change anything?I mean,he is showering and i am too....so we are at the same level. I can think whatever but it doesn't change the fact that they will keep on showering or sleeping and i wouldn't touch them anyway....
    It is bad being considered like a woman in the wrong locker or room....i totally have to disagree with this idea...
     
  11. Maxime_

    Maxime_ New Member

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    They do my same job so,they can do a pirouette back at me and chop up my cock with a toe,too!eheheheh.....mitchy,mitchy....we should talk more on fb sometimes!;)
     
  12. OCMuscleJock

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    A LOT of straight guys think that no matter what they look like...a gay guy will want them. *VERY NOT TRUE* People just need to get over themselves and grow the fuck up. :)
     
  13. MickeyLee

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    is it safe to assume that you would be uncomfortable showering with lesbians?

    never know when some big ole' scary dyke is going to admire ya unmentionable in the shower :rolleyes:

    for straight men to think that every gay man whats them is a exorcise in vanity and homophobia. if you are striking out with the ladies, you will so strike out with the men.

    eta: to stay OT... i think it's just a comfort level. whatever reason he's got, the dude is comfortable. could be the size issue, could be issues with his own sexuality. i wouldn't call the shower discomfort homophobia. more like immaturity or uncertainty.

    the hotel room.. that dude, he's a dick. if the hotel stay was work related *cuz the co-worker thing* totally unprofessional as hell. rooms were assigned, he should have grown up and acted like a human being.
    edit over.

    unless you are Ryan Reynolds or Huge Jackman... then you can safely assume that most human beings, no matter where they stand on the gender/sexuality spectrum totally wanna fuck you :biggrin:

    intorwebz true fax.
     
    #13 MickeyLee, Feb 26, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2010
  14. eyescream

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    Okay then, look at it more like football teams.:biggrin1: While you're thinking "okay we're all footballers, so we're the same", they consider you wearing a different coloured uniform so you're a member of the other team.

    When someone doesn't want to share the same hotel room with you, I would definitely call it discrimination. I think that it was insensitive of them to not consider your feelings in this, because had it been the other way around they would probably get hurt if someone were to do the same thing to them.

    On the other hand, I don't think you should take this too personally. We're all victims of discrimination in one way or another. Some straight guys have absolutely no problem sharing public bathrooms and hotel rooms with gay guys.
     
  15. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    There is no one single reason that a reaction can be "diagnosed" or predicted. Maxime I looked at your pictures before answering this. With regards to the shower situation the problem can be just the opposite of what you think. You could have a supposed straight guy who sees your dick and then begins to feel the first stirrings of an erection. What happens if he gets hard in front of you? He is now in fear of this happening so he bolts quickly and is VERY uncomfortable. If he is above average size and is there showing off in all honesty he is there "cruising" and is at least doing some mental calculations. As long as he doesn't see anything that attracts him he's OK, the minute he sees a great looking uncut "horse dick" he starts to react. The same is true of many men that have other attractions. If one is attracted to muscle for example, they will stay in and around a public and exposed shower situation and just enjoy the "scenery" because it is "nice" but it is not pushing their "buttons".
    You'll never know in reality and I think it is just great to sit back do what you're doing and watch the coward run. If he quickly packs up and you've made no overt move towards him, he's the one with the problem and he can provide you with great entertainment!

    Number two can also have many causes. You can have some closeted guy who is not as afraid of you as he is afraid of himself. I have in my lifetime shared hotel rooms relating to business with both straight and gay alike. On one occasion I shared a bed because it was all that was available with a female script consultant on a location shoot. She was single, and IS a great person. We basically looked at each other and said: "WE NEED SLEEP!" She threw on a nightgown and grabbed 1/2 of a king sized bed. Wd never gave it a second thought!

    Sharing a bed does not mean sex necessarily. It means sharing a bed and using that mattress for sleep too.

    Homophobia? Possibly?
    Again, there can be many less sinister reasons and fear of exposing himself to a situation where he may give something away he doesn't want to is also a possibility.

    Life is far too short for this one! Both of these incidents are really not worth talking about and both of these idiots are playing more mind games with themselves than anyone else!



     
  16. dolfette

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    why do guys here always think it's about cock size?

    i'm bi but i wouldn't feel entirely happy about sharing a room with a bi/gay girl, or a straight guy. i wouldn't feel comfortable getting naked around anyone there was a chance of being sexual tension with unless we were in a relationship.

    there've been girls not want to share with me because i'm bi, and that's fine by me.

    it's about being viewed in a sexual way. if i know there's a chance i'm being looked at that way then i want to stay fully clothed and distanced.
     
  17. MickeyLee

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    *is currently viewing Ms. Dolfette in a sexual manner just to annoy her*
     
  18. eyescream

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    I'm uncomfortable showering with people in general.

    Many straight guys aren't comfortable at the possiblity that they will be looked at in a sexual manner.

    Exactly.

    I personally don't believe that gay guys only look at the ultimate hunks.
     
  19. VeryHung

    VeryHung New Member

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    Here is something else to consider: Others may think that you have an irritating personality. You wrote that you liked to show off your dick in the shower. Somehow, I think that you my strut around like a peacock at work too; hence, the fact that some colleagues would prefer to share a room with someone else.

    I had a colleague who sounded much like you. Other gay men did not want to be around him as much as, and perhaps even more than straight men.

    Try working on your humility - it will pay dividends in the future.
     
  20. dolfette

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    :eek:
     
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