Is it me or is it me?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Synergistic, Jul 14, 2005.

  1. Synergistic

    Synergistic Member

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    In what few chances I've had with women, at certain points I'm unable to tell genuine disinterest from something that I screwed up. The rest of the points have no ambiguity, and I just wonder how can they be so different. I consider myself a pretty smart person, so I don't think I should have so much trouble trying to figure this out. I've also always considered myself a good person, but now I wonder. Would a good person have this much trouble, have I really done anything to warrant being a good person, I know I'm not bad, but that doesn't mean I'm good.

    I post this here because it helps to vent, and I know you all are good people who are always supportive and never quick to judge. I appreciate you all.
     
  2. BuffMusicIdol

    BuffMusicIdol New Member

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    Lat, I'm just a bit confused. You seem to have two concerns: 1. being a good person or not, and 2. being able to tell the difference between screwing up and indifference.

    Dude, you are a good person. It's a given. I've even chatted with you on another site (pe site) if you are the same screen name there. Mistakes do not constitute grounds for nullifying good in a person. Evil in one's heart does.

    As for screwing up and indifference, I've been the recipient of people's indifference in sexual situations. It happened quite a bit with my ex wife. But she DID have evil in her heart, so I can't let it hurt me. As for screwing up, I've done that too. Most often a partner will be open enough to say what is not quite right and in such a way that it's not hurtful or offensive to you, AND provide more than one chance. If this doesn't happen, then perhaps walking away and finding someone who is would be good.

    Just remember that someone at lpsg thinks you are groovy. Even if I am mental. (hehehe)

    I don't know if this made sense. Hope some of it did.

    :D
     
  3. Synergistic

    Synergistic Member

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    I know I have no evil, but I'm not sure any more if I have any good, or if I ever did. Its completely seperate from the part of my making mistakes, its just one other thing I wonder about.

    Its just so many of the people in my life, I just haven't seen them in so long, and they're not there for me to know what I did wrong, if anything. I think everyone goes high fidelity every once in a while, and when I can't get the answers it drives me crazy.
     
  4. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    I think that if you were a bad person you wouldn't be worried about being a good person. As for the indifference or screwing up, I tend to agree with Buff.

    FWIW, I think you're pretty ok and you can't be all bad, you're here at LPSG aren't you??
     
  5. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    My friends always tell me that everyone likes me and that they have never heard anybody say a bad thing about and I am a really good person...It makes me kind of feel weird because I really don't think I am that good...I just treat people the way I would want to be treated and never judge a person before I really get to know them...Even people who I should not like - I keep it very neutral and give them the benefit of the doubt...I prefer if you remember for anything all you can say is he was a really nice guy...
     
  6. Dr Rock

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    I think I can safely say that I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
     
  7. BuffMusicIdol

    BuffMusicIdol New Member

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    I think from what you're saying, that you feel somewhat disconnected from people whom you once feel more connected to, and perhaps are fearful that people you think you should be connecting with seem to be distant. I'm trying to get inside you and figure this out. Maybe I should stop here, I dunno, dude. :)

    Go easy on your self evaluation. There are some scarey things about me that have given me total grief in relationships, but in the end, I find people are still there for me. However, when some of my "idiosyncrisies" (how do you spell that?) are rampant, I can always count on distance from people. It DOESN'T make me bad. It does make me difficult to be around AT TIMES. That's all. And, EVERYONE is like that. No one is peachy to be around ALL the time.

    Give yourself a break, amigo. Relationships and connecting comes in waves to me. Sometimes the tide is low and I have to be okay with just me and like being independent till the tide comes in again.

    Am I WAY off base here? I dunno, you tell me.
    Just don't be overly self evaluating and doubt yourself too much. Your cool enough.
     
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